DUI depression... not sure what to do with my newly ruined life.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 3
DUI depression... not sure what to do with my newly ruined life.
So less than a week ago I get pulled over and get a DUI. I dont normally drink and I do not drive... but this night I had far too many drinks and was attacked and punched by a couple people. I had options but I would say I went insane almost and drove away.. I had lost my mind and now I am really going to pay the price for it. I got pulled over shortly after I drove away. I had just got my professional license and was on my way to a great career. My girlfriend was happy with me and things were finally going good. Thankfully no one got hurt (besides a few bruises and cuts from being attacked) but now I am one hell of a serious depression. I lost my job... have 500$ to my name... my girlfriend is being strong about it but she is so disappointed. My family is completely ashamed. I have not been able to eat properly (maybe one small meal a day) and cannot get this horrible self loathing feeling to go away. I would read about DUI depression all over the internet and the fact that this is going to take years to get over makes it even tougher to bare... The only moment of peace I have had is the very first few seconds when I wake up... but it was not a dream. My life is over... I will lose thousands of dollars and probably my girlfriend if i dont get out of this rut i am putting myself in. I will have to work for way less money if I can even get a job and where I live I dont get my license back until its dealt with in court. I just dont know how to feel anymore... I wouldnt say I am suicidal but these feelings are certainly negative enough to make me feel like death isnt so bad. The anxiety of knowing I have years of hardship ahead of me is a terrible feeling.
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Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Out in the Stix of Southern Indiana
Posts: 2,784
I've been there! Not a good feeling. Don't drink, it doesn't help anything. You have dug yourself a little hole and you just have to climb out of it no matter what it takes. Keep posting and reading. It has to get better!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
things will sort themselves out. Suicide is a pretty permenant soultion to a temporary problem.
You mention in the end that now you know your going ot have a bunch of eyars of struggle ahead. As opposed to what easy street? How do you know its going to be years of awful? you could hit the lotto tommorrow or get hit by a bus who knows. My point is the future isnt written yet anything could happen. But if you think the future is this or that and you live it out in your head over and over your basicly feeling and expiereincing something thats not real and has not happened why bother?
I suppose my point is try and stay in the present about it some so you dont get overwhelmed and upset about stuff thats not a garantee and hasnt happened yet anyhow.
You never mentioned if you have a drinking problem it almost sounded like you dont just drink from time to time now this.
You mention in the end that now you know your going ot have a bunch of eyars of struggle ahead. As opposed to what easy street? How do you know its going to be years of awful? you could hit the lotto tommorrow or get hit by a bus who knows. My point is the future isnt written yet anything could happen. But if you think the future is this or that and you live it out in your head over and over your basicly feeling and expiereincing something thats not real and has not happened why bother?
I suppose my point is try and stay in the present about it some so you dont get overwhelmed and upset about stuff thats not a garantee and hasnt happened yet anyhow.
You never mentioned if you have a drinking problem it almost sounded like you dont just drink from time to time now this.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by unlogic 
I do not have a drinking problem in the sense of dependency. I drink on occasion, sometimes as low as once or twice a month... Its when I drink too much I lose way to much personal control.
Is your plan to quit drinking? There is a lot of support to be found here on SR if that's your plan.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,470
Originally Posted by unlogic
I do not have a drinking problem in the sense of dependency. I drink on occasion, sometimes as low as once or twice a month... Its when I drink too much I lose way to much personal control.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
For some odd reason your posts reminded me of a children's story I read to my kids entitled If You Give a Moose a Muffin.
The story evolves into series of escalating unpredictable disasters when our protagonist - the Moose - eats a muffin.
Pretty analogous for events in my drinking life and the associated mayhem. I began to understand I was a volunteer and not a victim.
Many times things turned out not to be as bad as I thought they'd be, but either way I had to grow up and pay the consequences. I know a lot of friends who have had a professional license suspended but are able to work through this and get reinstatement - especially for a first time offense. Maybe that's the case with you?!
One day soon the sun will come up again. I find this happens sooner staying sober.
Glad your among us - welcome
The story evolves into series of escalating unpredictable disasters when our protagonist - the Moose - eats a muffin.
Pretty analogous for events in my drinking life and the associated mayhem. I began to understand I was a volunteer and not a victim.
Many times things turned out not to be as bad as I thought they'd be, but either way I had to grow up and pay the consequences. I know a lot of friends who have had a professional license suspended but are able to work through this and get reinstatement - especially for a first time offense. Maybe that's the case with you?!
One day soon the sun will come up again. I find this happens sooner staying sober.
Glad your among us - welcome
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by unlogic
The anxiety of knowing I have years of hardship ahead of me is a terrible feeling.
Count your blessings.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,533
All I can say is that your life is not over. I can say that from experience. It could be SO MUCH WORSE. You will eventually get tired of feeling like a loser, because you aren't. Bad things happen to good people. You will need to work on acceptance. It is what it is... Keep moving forward. Learn from your mistake. Move on from it. Do not let it define you. Rise above. I've lost lots too. Jobs, relationships, dignity. You will be alright. Give it some time.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Santa Barbara, CA
Posts: 44
unlogic - wow what courage to share what you're going through. I can relate. My life has been drastically changed by having made the same exact choice. I got a DUI right when the California law changed from .10 to .08. After very little food that day I had 2 lite beers and after 2 hours drove to go home. I got a DUI at .08. It changed the course of how my family sees/treats me and many more ways I just won't go into because I would not recognize that my behavior/choices was what needed changing. Not just a drinking pattern no matter how much in the infancy stage it was back then. It just grew over the years. So the deal is now you have a choice -- you can attempt to keep justifying or rationalizing with yourself -- (but would you be posting here if something deep within you wondered if booze is just not a luxury you can afford?) or pull up the bootstraps and realize sometimes it's not always 'one step forward, two steps back'.....sometimes we take steps sideways. Family, friends and employers seemingly have a lot of love for someone who gets into action to better themselves and learn from their mistakes. However it's been my personal experience that when I stayed in denial and continued to make the same mistakes (although NO ONE thinks they'll EVER make THAT mistake again, but if you keep drinking the statistics of a 2nd DUI are actually very high) that that is when life starts turning to REAL ****. Sounds like your surrounded by disappointment but that's to be expected. No one can be harder on you than you. I hope you really take the input of the support here on SR - it sounds like you might be at more of a fork in the road than you think. Not to be mean or presume anything..will keep you in my prayers.....hang in there!!!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
Hi and welcome Unlogic
This place is full of people who took something unfortunate like a DUI and used it to change their life.
I understand you may not be at the point to see this is a gift but gifts do often come strangely wrapped.
If it's getting you really down perhaps you might see your Dr or a counsellor?
D
This place is full of people who took something unfortunate like a DUI and used it to change their life.
I understand you may not be at the point to see this is a gift but gifts do often come strangely wrapped.
If it's getting you really down perhaps you might see your Dr or a counsellor?
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: North East, USA
Posts: 704
My ex got a DUI. He wanted to borrow $3.5k for an attorney from my family. I told him no. I told him to put on one of his fancy suits, walk in the Court room, alone and admit what you did. Be thankful you didn't kill or hurt anyone or yourself.
He did exactly that. It being his 1st DUI, the Judge I think was stunned by *honesty, made him serve the remaining 12 hours of mandatory 24 hrs in jail and fined him $300. He lost his license for 6 months.
Can't guarantee you will get that lucky...but I have respect for people who do not try to weasel out of things with high power attorneys. Our families felt the same. No where to go but up.
GL,
J
He did exactly that. It being his 1st DUI, the Judge I think was stunned by *honesty, made him serve the remaining 12 hours of mandatory 24 hrs in jail and fined him $300. He lost his license for 6 months.
Can't guarantee you will get that lucky...but I have respect for people who do not try to weasel out of things with high power attorneys. Our families felt the same. No where to go but up.
GL,
J
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Northwest U.S.
Posts: 778
Originally Posted by Jules714
My ex got a DUI. He wanted to borrow $3.5k for an attorney from my family. I told him no. I told him to put on one of his fancy suits, walk in the Court room, alone and admit what you did. Be thankful you didn't kill or hurt anyone or yourself.
He did exactly that. It being his 1st DUI, the Judge I think was stunned by *honesty, made him serve the remaining 12 hours of mandatory 24 hrs in jail and fined him $300. He lost his license for 6 months.
Can't guarantee you will get that lucky...but I have respect for people who do not try to weasel out of things with high power attorneys. Our families felt the same. No where to go but up.
GL,
J
He did exactly that. It being his 1st DUI, the Judge I think was stunned by *honesty, made him serve the remaining 12 hours of mandatory 24 hrs in jail and fined him $300. He lost his license for 6 months.
Can't guarantee you will get that lucky...but I have respect for people who do not try to weasel out of things with high power attorneys. Our families felt the same. No where to go but up.
GL,
J
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,643
A rock bottom? Can get far, FAR worse. Do noty now use this ads a reason to drink. Turn it around. What is done cannot be undone. BUT what you do today can effect what happens to you in the future. Go to meetings, do not drink. Emapthy and support- I lost license- and I drank and stuff got much, much worse.
Hillbilly Girl
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: In my Garden
Posts: 3,953
I'm sorry your having a hard time unlogic. I remember feeling the way you do...the shame & embarassment of it but it will pass, it's done & you move forward. Beating ourselves up only drags us down. Be kind to yourself
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: West Tn
Posts: 3,043
Unlogic -
Drinking problems come in different shapes and sizes.
I never had a DUI, but I sure had a drinking problem.
I strongly urge you to view this seeming personal disaster as an opportunity to change your life for the better.
Starting with not drinking, particularly since you lose control when you drink.
Why take any more chances?
I got help when I (very perceptively, I might add) thought that my drinking would cause me to lose my job and career (kind of where you are right now).
I got sober, kept my job and career and have had a very blessed (not always easy, but very blessed nonetheless) life ever since.
We welcome you to our group.
You sound like you're one of us.
Why don't you get and stay sober with us and see how things go.
I drive through DUI checkpoints now with no concerns whatsoever - just feeling badly while I do for the other drivers who have more trepidation about these intrusive law enforcement endeavors.
I encourage you to read these forums and look for the similarities and not the differences with yourself.
Again, we're very happy you're here with us and we hope you stick around.
Drinking problems come in different shapes and sizes.
I never had a DUI, but I sure had a drinking problem.
I strongly urge you to view this seeming personal disaster as an opportunity to change your life for the better.
Starting with not drinking, particularly since you lose control when you drink.
Why take any more chances?
I got help when I (very perceptively, I might add) thought that my drinking would cause me to lose my job and career (kind of where you are right now).
I got sober, kept my job and career and have had a very blessed (not always easy, but very blessed nonetheless) life ever since.
We welcome you to our group.
You sound like you're one of us.
Why don't you get and stay sober with us and see how things go.
I drive through DUI checkpoints now with no concerns whatsoever - just feeling badly while I do for the other drivers who have more trepidation about these intrusive law enforcement endeavors.
I encourage you to read these forums and look for the similarities and not the differences with yourself.
Again, we're very happy you're here with us and we hope you stick around.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 80
Originally Posted by unlogic
...when I drink too much I lose way to much personal control.
I've personally gone years w/o drinking... w/o craving it... accomplishing great things when sober in fact. It's when I pick up that first drink that I can't control it and things inevitably go bad.
Despite all the sober times and all the times I could easily pass it up... it has caused exponential grief and problems in my life... including DUI(s).
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