My son is dying
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 1
My son is dying
I'm desperate 😩 My 27 year old son is killing him self with alcohol. He drinks between 30/50 beers a day!!! He just got himself baker acted last night by asking neighbors to call the police. My newest problem is when he gets out he'll be homeless because my husband is having him evicted. He has no money, no job, no friends. He'll be walking the streets!! I can't live with that thought! He's my baby! But he's so self destructive he can't stay here. Please help me. Where can he go for free to get the help he needs?? We don't have money. Live paycheck to paycheck. My heart is broken. His organs must be failing. He is probably dying. As his mother, so am I. how can I ever be happy again knowing my dying son is out in the city wandering homeless and hungry. Please help this desperate mother.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
It is heart wrenching to read your plea. You can't be happy with you son in this condition. But you have to realize there is little you can do. He sounds like a chronic alcoholic. If he wants help when he gets out, the Salvation Army has facilities. But the choice is your son's. For your sake, I hope he make it.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Sorry to hear about your son's misfortune Sunshine. As Carl mentions, the Salvation Army offers free detox but he will need to seek it himself. Getting kicked out may be the incentive he needs to finally see how destructive his drinking is too. I also hope he sees what he's doing and seeks help for himself. You may want to seek help for yourself via Al-anon or our friends and family forum here, please know that none of this is your fault...he's making the choice to keep drinking because he's an addict, not because of anything you have done.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,870
I am so very, very sorry for what you are going through, Sunshine.
As others have mentioned, I would suggest getting in contact with the Salvation Army.
Please stay close. We are here for you!!!
As others have mentioned, I would suggest getting in contact with the Salvation Army.
Please stay close. We are here for you!!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 102
It is very difficult what you are going through. I put my mother through it for many many years. Sadly, the choice is his and his alone.
Please know that many people are standing with you. My sister and mother are also in recovery so I attend Al-Anon in addition to AA. I strongly suggest that you give it a try. There is support out there for you.
Please know that many people are standing with you. My sister and mother are also in recovery so I attend Al-Anon in addition to AA. I strongly suggest that you give it a try. There is support out there for you.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Wareham, Mass
Posts: 7,067
I am so sorry for your trouble, sunny.
I say this with kindness: let him go.
My alcoholic sib lives with my mother, and has for 20+ years.
She, too, could not bear the thought of him being out on the street.
He is drunk most of the time. He is incontinent. He has neurological damage from his lifelong consumption.
My mother is almost 92. She has some dementia.
My brother has stolen her peaceful old age. It is a terrible situation that I cant bear at times.
Your son is young enough to recover and live a sober life if he chooses to.
Don't prop him up anymore. It doesn't help him or you.
I say this with kindness: let him go.
My alcoholic sib lives with my mother, and has for 20+ years.
She, too, could not bear the thought of him being out on the street.
He is drunk most of the time. He is incontinent. He has neurological damage from his lifelong consumption.
My mother is almost 92. She has some dementia.
My brother has stolen her peaceful old age. It is a terrible situation that I cant bear at times.
Your son is young enough to recover and live a sober life if he chooses to.
Don't prop him up anymore. It doesn't help him or you.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: North East, USA
Posts: 704
Sunny,
I'm so sorry to read this. We really worry our family and friends.We wear them out.
The best thing you can do in my opinion, is organize a state run detox/rehab if he has no insurance (county funds cover usually, I just went) and tell him you're there for him when he gets out.
Someone else said to have him committed, I believe Baker Act is a 5150 hold? If so, he'll go before a Judge within 72 hours and (s)he will determine competency. You may be able to attend this hearing and please with the Judge to have him held longer.
I pray things work in your combined favour. He will be the only person to help himself. No one but us gets us drunk nor sober.
Hugs.
J
I'm so sorry to read this. We really worry our family and friends.We wear them out.
The best thing you can do in my opinion, is organize a state run detox/rehab if he has no insurance (county funds cover usually, I just went) and tell him you're there for him when he gets out.
Someone else said to have him committed, I believe Baker Act is a 5150 hold? If so, he'll go before a Judge within 72 hours and (s)he will determine competency. You may be able to attend this hearing and please with the Judge to have him held longer.
I pray things work in your combined favour. He will be the only person to help himself. No one but us gets us drunk nor sober.
Hugs.
J
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Originally Posted by sunny34695 
I'm desperate 😩 My 27 year old son is killing him self with alcohol. He drinks between 30/50 beers a day!!! He just got himself baker acted last night by asking neighbors to call the police. My newest problem is when he gets out he'll be homeless because my husband is having him evicted. He has no money, no job, no friends. He'll be walking the streets!! I can't live with that thought! He's my baby! But he's so self destructive he can't stay here. Please help me. Where can he go for free to get the help he needs?? We don't have money. Live paycheck to paycheck. My heart is broken. His organs must be failing. He is probably dying. As his mother, so am I. how can I ever be happy again knowing my dying son is out in the city wandering homeless and hungry. Please help this desperate mother.
Yet these were the circumstances in which I was finally able to see the truth about my condition, and able to accept help. They say it is always darkest before the dawn. This was true for me, and I pray it will be true for your son.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 80
Call the police and tell them he threatened to kill himself. If he's drunk you can sign an affidavit to have him involuntarily committed to a psychiatric facility. This will give you time to make arrangements with Salvation Army and learn of the options they provide. Be prepared to tell him you'll turn your back on him if he continues. Time for him to man up or be homeless.
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