Asthecrowflies

Hello, just wanting a quick opinion of those who are in AA/ or have been to AA, as part of their successful sobriety journey...

How often do you feel it's necessary to go? For example, just with all that we have going on, I cannot make it more than twice a week.
I know that it works, as my husband is 25+ years sober, but he went twice a day for the first 5 years out of rehab. So, wanted outside opinion, and stories from those who may not have been able to make daily meetings. Thank you, and much love.

Coldfusion

My wife and I did ninety meetings in ninety days to start. We feel it gave our sobriety a solid foundation.

Asthecrowflies

That is really helpful, thank you!

kevlarsjal

I didn't go for the first half year of my recovery. It didn't work for me then because all my brain did was to compare with others and look for 'proof' that i wasn't really an alcoholic.

I did therapy and spend lots of time on here though.

Now I started going to 2 meetings per week for the last 3 weeks and think I couldn't do much more than that. Meetings are helpful to me but also exhausting.

My BF who is nearly 5 years sober went to a couple of meetings per week for the first year, now he goes maybe once or twice a year.

I think it's different for everyone

ScottFromWI

For the most part, working the steps with a sponsor is the biggest part of AA in my limited experience. If you can do that successfully with 2 meetings a week then it should be fine.

Also keep in mind that if you have too much going on to put time aside for your sobriety work, you might want to cut back on what you have "going on". Whether you are using AA or any other method, it takes a major commitment to get and stay sober...it's not generally something you just "fit in" to the rest of your life. That's not to say that everyone needs to go to a meeting every day, but you have to make sobriety a high priority if you want it to happen. And for many of us that meant making substantial changes to our lifestyle.

D122y

Asthe,

I went off and on for the first year of my sobriety.

It wasn't for me to go any more.

I think about going, but probably for the wrong reasons.

I am still healing a bit from my drinking days so that is one of my constant reminders.

Still, at 2 years sober, i get craves. I get through
Knowing that drinking will only give me euphoric feelings for a short time, then i will suffer or worse.

There are several long time AA folks here that i get AA info from w out the drive and drama.

But, if i was not getting support i needed from SR, i would be at AA in a heartbeat.

Thanks.

tomsteve

early in recovery, i think its wise to hit as many meetings as possible. personally i had to get honest about how much time i had to go to meetings. when i did that i saw i had more time than i thought. after all, i had all the time to drink just about daily, i should have had the time to go to meetings daily, and that wasnt the easiest thing to do after the 4 meetings a week in the town i got sober in, next closest meeting was a 52 mile round trip.
i wanted what the big book said i could get, so i went to as many meetings as possible AND worked the program.
i didnt make 90 in 90, but there was a week in there i managed to make 9 in 7

Asthecrowflies

I totally agree, and am pursuing therapy for anxiety, agorabhobia, as well as being the primary caretaker for multiple people.
It's very difficult to cut down on what we have going on right now, as there is no one else to do it, so I have to somehow manage (and do most day...)
As a maintenance alcoholic, it's difficult to actually feel like you have a problem, even though I know I do, because no one thinks it is "that bad", because I may drink 24/7, but don't get drunk, black out, and puke ever... so, I don't have a problem. But, I can drink 12-18 drinks a day. It's definitely a priority to be sober, and after repeated failed attempts at doing it myself, I need more support... but, getting our bills paid, (and being in a sticky situation that I can't get into here...), it's just not a priority. I rely on my husband to drive, as I drink a lot, etc.

It often seems, like, my family doesn't mind my drinking dysfuntion, as I'm not some off the wall, emotional drunk. And, also, I am agoraphobic because of anxiety, when I don't drink.

I'd like to pursue AA, and really appreciate that you have mentioned that it needs to be a priority! I feel it does, too <3 My health could be so much better, and after 2 decades of putting others first, and 10 years of drinking. I think helping myself, and needing their support a couple times a week, isn't asking too much

Bobbieka

I always attend my homegroup meetings. I signed up to drive women that can't get to mtgs, so that adds to my meetings some weeks. I also attend Al anon.

Bunny211

The first 3 months or so I went to 2, sometimes 3 mtgs a day because I was not working. Then I got a sponsor and did 4 meetings a week for a solid year. Now I attend an average of 3 meetings per week and I am almost 2 years sober.

I do not think people need to sit in 7 meetings a week to stay sober. I don't want to do that. There are a LOT in AA who never do any stepwork or work on themselves...so they are constantly craving a drink and they probably need to be in a meeting every day. I did the steps, am in therapy, and work on having a balanced, sober life. 3 meetings a week works for me.

aasharon90

I agree with what ScottFromWI shared and posted
and in doing so it has kept me sober for a many one
days at a time since 8-11-90.

First Things First and sobriety/recovery is
top priority, for with out it, I would have nothing.

Especially NO LIFE cause id be either be institutionalized,
jailed or DEAD.

Db1105

I went everyday for my first year. but, not drinking, I had nothing else going on in my life. Slowly through time I started getting back into living and not as many meeting were needed. I go now once or twice a week when I want.

The AA program is about working The Twelve Steps. Meeting are there for support and finding others to try to help. I know many people who got sober only being able to get to a few meetings.

Doug39

Today I am 198 days sober. I started going to AA four and a half months ago and I go to 5 to 6 meetings a week.

My current schedule is:

Monday - noon discussion meeting

Tuesday - 11 am lead meeting with my first sponsor, lunch afterwards

Wednesday - noon discussion meeting with my second sponsor

Thursday - 11 am lead meeting with both sponsors, lunch afterwards

Friday - 10:30 am lead meeting

Saturday - 12:30 pm discussion meeting

I do mix it up from time to time and go to an evening meeting it someone I know is leading. Yesterday I went to a meeting on the other side of town just to see some new faces.

I will admit that seeing the same people and doing the same routine can get boring but it is working and I am sober. I always get something out of every meeting and I feel better after I attend.

fini

the "work" in AA is really not done "in" AA, but doing the stp stuff, usually with a sponsor, away from meetinhs. meetings are great for connecting with others, and being in sober fellowship.
if you are serious about getting and staying sober via AA, the nmber of meetings is nowhere near as significant as getting busy, thoroughly and honestly, on the step stuff.

Done4today

I was told to put as much time into my sobriety as I did my drinking. I go to 3-5 meetings a week, read here daily, and listen to speaker tapes.

Delizadee

I was told by my sponsor to go to meetings every day.
I am a single mom who babysits for shiftworkers and I don't have my own child care to get to meetings. So I get to meetings whenever I am able to. Every day or even 90 in 90 is no where realistic to me.

I did however, do a 12 step based, 6 week inpatient treatment, I regularly see my addictions counselor, I do my readings every day, work on my steps, I do drive another single mom to meetings as well, I am on SR everyday, I use my sober apps, I try to do a little brain exercising a day with reading or journaling.
I don't have a lot of time to fit AA meetings into my life, I do however have a ton of nooks and crannies where I can fit the aa program and recovery way of life so I can continue to grow and don't get stagnant.

I got pretty hung up on being told I had to do a meeting everyday when i couldn't. It was my counselor who told me it was ok to be realistic as long as I was still doing the work I needed to grow. And part of that was finding a good sponsor that worked for and with me, and getting good supports in the community so I can continue on the right path. So how I am living and the path I am on feels pretty "right" between myself and my hp.

I also like speaker tapes and recovery podcasts.

Dave42001

I was willing to go to any length to get sober and with some time under my belt,today I still attend 4-6 meetings a week.

Meetings alone wouldn't keep me sober. I found a sponsor who was willing to work with me and took me through the 12 steps of AA the same way he was taught. AA is a program of action. I had to smash my ego, surrender to a power greater than myself, help others, read the big book daily spend time on SR daily but most inportant I had to put my soberity above every thing in my life! I had to take a long look at the person in the mirror and do some deep soul searching and get honest with myself.

Please steer clear of words like can't or cannot.. You can do this,! you're very lucky to have a spouse with 25 years clean.. wishing you the best!!

Page 58 of the BB says, RARELY HAVE we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. All the directions are listed in the first 164 pages.

August252015

I did 82 in 90 so I was close to this common "goal." It took awhile for it all to start sinking in - just the going was the key part at first.

Now, at 444 days sober, I find that 4-6 a week is my sweet spot. I have been a little short (3 or 4) in the past couple weeks for various reasons and am going to work on that.

I think it is up to the individual- I also know that those who have what I want (the kind of recovery life) and who maintain it the longest, are dedicated meeting goers. I know plenty who go to two some days. I believe the maxim "go when you don't want to do, and go when you do - just go" holds true. Meetings don't equate to recovery, but they are an important part.

Bunny211

Also - I will add, that I did do the "90 in 90." The work is done through the steps, but I did do the 90 in 90 and it gave me a good foundation and a meeting was always a safe place for me to be. I hear a lot of people in Big Book meetings screaming "nowhere in this book does it say 90 in 90." That's true, but it worked for me. I think a lot of people do the 90 in 90 and find it helpful.

D122y

In my experience... allof my agoraphobia was and still is from drinking. When I quit...I had trouble going everywhere. It was hell on earth.

My drunk buddy would say...just have a couple of shots to stabilize it. I knew it would drag out the process.

It has taken 2 years to heal so far. Most of my dibilitating anxiety has dissappeared. I still have ptsd from the horrid stress I dealt w, but the stress was so bad before, that the ptsd is almost a joke.

SR was my therepy. I would come here and folks would help me, give me tips etc. For example...I bought the audio cd..from Panic to power....It helped me understand my stress so much...it also gave me strategies for dealing w stress and anxiety.

If you are going to therapy, hopefully you are getting that.

If you are on meds and drinking together than that is a double whammy. The meds create a whole knew level of detox and withdrawal I never dealt with.

12 drinks a day is a whole bunch. Tapering off will be difficult since you don't seem to have any medical motivation like I did.

I was having dibilitating panic attacks. I had to quit or I probably would have ended up in a mental ward.

Thanks.