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Hulkamaniackd 04-27-2017 12:53 PM

Prisoner in my own head
 
So yesterday marked my three week sober mark. Ive about matched my longest streak since I had a hiccup and binged one night. Had my good and bad days but this third week ive had several days of bad anxiety. Fast pulse, light headed, fainting feeling, twitchy feeing on eyelids, tingly shivering feeling in arms. Yesterday got a phone call about a potential job interview, I was left in a panic, mind racing all day worrying. I had finally had enough with the anxiety over the weekend and tried to get in to see a doctor, but I cant see them till next week. I have been taking potassium, b complex vitamins, and magnesium after reading there may b a difficiency. I'm hopping I can see if symptoms are anxiety, vatamin def, or bloodsugar diabetes related.
This week I feel like a prisoner in my own head. I'm constantly trying to keep it together. I'm focusing on breathing. I'm trying to do exercises to prevent worry. I have a weird head pressure. I'm not even craving alcohol, but I just want a relief from these symptoms. The only time I don't feel trapped in my head is the cpl hours after I shower at night and layin bed watching tv. I feel so hopeless right now.

MrMcTell 04-27-2017 12:59 PM

Sorry you feel bad! But three weeks is great. :c011:

I found it really helped to recognize the physical and mental tortures of quitting drinking as physical and mental symptoms of your addiction being under threat. Try to separate yourself from your addiction and recognize that it is suffering, you are getting better.

Seeing a doctor in early recovery is also a great idea.

paulokes 04-27-2017 01:09 PM

Keep doing your thing my friend....things will improve no doubt.

My head is my worst enemy today...I might go weeks and months feeling fantastic and then hit a spell when I'm lost in my head, worrying, overthinking, feeling trapped.

I've found some healthy habits that help me break out of this or stay away from it but it can still be painful when it comes on. Opening up to people is my number one positive habit. Sometimes just voicing my state of my mind to an understanding friend is the first step to getting out from under.

P

Hulkamaniackd 04-27-2017 01:18 PM

Thanks for the response guys. Im at the point where I think I'm thinking about the potential "anxiety" or stress relief practices so much that I'm giving myself anxiety. It doesnt help that I have pretty much stayed at home the last two weeks. I want to exercise but that sets off the symptoms so I havent exercised. The thought of taking on a new job has me terrified as I don't want to move for work and then blow it due to symptoms

BetterNow2017 04-27-2017 01:36 PM

Don't make the mistake I always made before I kicked it for good.

That mistake was thinking the way I felt in the first few weeks and months of sobriety was a permanent condition.

I would be 3 weeks sober and be like this sucks, this is what sober is ? F this.

I had a sponsor that said over and over it takes balls to get sober, he was right you have to fight through that post acute withdrawal to you make it to the other side. Problem with me was I was effed up for so long I did not even know what sober was anymore. I was either on pills and drinking or having withdrawals, sober whats that.

BetterNow2017 04-27-2017 01:43 PM


Originally Posted by Hulkamaniackd (Post 6432610)
Im at the point where I think I'm thinking about the potential "anxiety" or stress relief practices so much that I'm giving myself anxiety.

A self-fulfilling prophecy is a prediction that directly or indirectly causes itself to become true, by the very terms of the prophecy itself, due to positive feedback between belief and behavior.

The self-fulfilling prophecy is, in the beginning, a false definition of the situation evoking a new behavior which makes the original false conception come true. This specious validity of the self-fulfilling prophecy perpetuates a reign of error. For the prophet will cite the actual course of events as proof that he was right from the very beginning.


I know where your at been there. My worry about anxiety would cause it.

I used to get anxiety from hell in the AA meetings in the beginning. The biggest breakthrough is when I learned it is OK to just walk out instead of sitting there watching the clock feeling like I am going to die. Once I knew no one really noticed or cared that I walked out and I knew escape was possible then the anxiety went down. I almost quit going, screw that I am not getting stuck in a room of people with anxiety real bad. I was not stuck just walk out.

Soberwolf 04-27-2017 01:44 PM

Your doing excellent hang in there

Dee74 04-27-2017 05:28 PM

hiya Hulk - all that stuff was part of withdrawal for me and it helped me to think about it that way.

If it's not a problem you've had before, I hope it won't persist too long and I hope it will pass and I hope you will feel better, in time :)

D

Doug39 04-27-2017 05:37 PM

I went through all that during the first few months of sobriety - I was a complete mess.

I know it is hard to believe right now but it does get better - have faith.

Hulkamaniackd 04-28-2017 12:01 PM

Got about 5 good hrs of sleep last night. Couldnt fall asleep, thinking alot. Woke up today headache head pressure. I just keep thinking thadt the numbness and dizziness is more likely than not today

Dee74 04-28-2017 03:01 PM

Maybe seeing a Dr could help?

D


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