I'm new to this
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 17
Originally Posted by CreativeThinker 
I'm not an AA'r either, although I have been in the past and learned so much from it.
I come to SR, see a therapist and I'm currently reading as much literature as possible about this s***** disease.
Hope you will get as much out of your experience on SR as I have!
I come to SR, see a therapist and I'm currently reading as much literature as possible about this s***** disease.
Hope you will get as much out of your experience on SR as I have!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 17
Originally Posted by MrMcTell
Firstly, there is nothing embarrassing about being an alcoholic around here. You are among like-minded people who know what a pernicious and awful illness alcoholism is.
I too am not an AAer. Though I still have that on the table as something I might do.
I echo what Dee says about the Newcomers Forum. It is probably the most active part of he site (?), so a good place to go if you want to read material in real time, and make connections with people.
I am currently three months sober, using a few ideas from AVRT (see the Secular Connections forum) and the 24/7 support of SR. If I had to give you two pieces of advice, they would be:
1) Learn the basics of Addictive Voice Recognition Therapy/ AVRT. (The basic idea is to separate yourself from your addiction and recognize any thoughts of drinking as Addictive Voice/ AV [i.e. your addiction speaking not you]. From there, you can dismiss these thoughts as "just your addiction speaking" much easier.) It seems ludicrously simple, but if you can make a genuine, firm commitment to quit, then this is a very powerful tool. The bottom line is that you are in control over whether you drink the first drink. Your addiction cannot make you get up and drive to the store to buy liquor without your participation.
2) Stick close to SR. I was skeptical when I first signed up that it would make any difference, but I recognize now that that skepticism was just my addiction trying to protect itself. Post often. Join the April support thread.
[Remember: Anything you are reluctant to do in recovery may be your addiction protecting itself from change. This doesn't mean you can't pick and chose what will work for you, but don't be dismissive of your options.]
Just my opinions for what they are worth. Congrats on making a positive decision in your life.
I too am not an AAer. Though I still have that on the table as something I might do.
I echo what Dee says about the Newcomers Forum. It is probably the most active part of he site (?), so a good place to go if you want to read material in real time, and make connections with people.
I am currently three months sober, using a few ideas from AVRT (see the Secular Connections forum) and the 24/7 support of SR. If I had to give you two pieces of advice, they would be:
1) Learn the basics of Addictive Voice Recognition Therapy/ AVRT. (The basic idea is to separate yourself from your addiction and recognize any thoughts of drinking as Addictive Voice/ AV [i.e. your addiction speaking not you]. From there, you can dismiss these thoughts as "just your addiction speaking" much easier.) It seems ludicrously simple, but if you can make a genuine, firm commitment to quit, then this is a very powerful tool. The bottom line is that you are in control over whether you drink the first drink. Your addiction cannot make you get up and drive to the store to buy liquor without your participation.
2) Stick close to SR. I was skeptical when I first signed up that it would make any difference, but I recognize now that that skepticism was just my addiction trying to protect itself. Post often. Join the April support thread.
[Remember: Anything you are reluctant to do in recovery may be your addiction protecting itself from change. This doesn't mean you can't pick and chose what will work for you, but don't be dismissive of your options.]
Just my opinions for what they are worth. Congrats on making a positive decision in your life.
I will be on this site more in the future. My addiction protects itself like nothing I have ever experienced. Sometimes it feels like the final battle, and I am losing. Badly. I also accept this the most when I drink; when the morning comes around I am strong, and I get more an more weak as the day wears on. Maybe habit, absolutely addiction.
Your opinions are worth their weight in gold, by the way
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 17
Originally Posted by NYCDoglvr
I wasn't "into" AA but I certainly couldn't do it on my own. If it hadn't been for the fellowship I wouldn't be sober 25 years.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 17
Originally Posted by leviathan
Welcome!
-please try to drop the embarrassment as soon as possible. Addiction problems are equal opportunity: rich, poor, average, criminals and heroes. Although addiction can certainly harm your character, it is NOT your character.
-please try to drop the embarrassment as soon as possible. Addiction problems are equal opportunity: rich, poor, average, criminals and heroes. Although addiction can certainly harm your character, it is NOT your character.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 17
Originally Posted by waynetheking
Sounds like you want help but on your own terms? If you know what to do and how to do it then why are you here? These are questions I have to ask. After reading your post (twice) I guess I'm kinda confused on how to respond to you.
I've learned that my own terms don't always get the results I need, so I'm trying something new. And I mean this with zero sarcasm - Thank you for approaching my post in a way that makes me think the way I can talk to other people going through their personal turmoil. I'm an excellent doctor, but a horrible patient.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 17
Originally Posted by Hevyn
I'd like to welcome you too, High. We are a friendly & encouraging group who care about each other. You're never alone.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 17
Originally Posted by fini
highlonesome, welcome.
stuck for things to say, since they'd likely be along he lines of crap to newcomers. which you are, though maybe not new to trying to get and stay sober?
there are some more or less usual things that people experience while trying to decide, or new to sobriety, and it can be helpful to get a heads up.
I hear you on not wanting to ask what to do or how to do it, and i do have some personal experience with that very attitude. which made my life much tougher than it needed to be
stuck for things to say, since they'd likely be along he lines of crap to newcomers. which you are, though maybe not new to trying to get and stay sober?
there are some more or less usual things that people experience while trying to decide, or new to sobriety, and it can be helpful to get a heads up.
I hear you on not wanting to ask what to do or how to do it, and i do have some personal experience with that very attitude. which made my life much tougher than it needed to be
I made it 11 days sober last month, the longest I've made it in over a decade. I know I'm killing myself, I know I'm failing, I know I am being selfish.
Seriously, how do people ever quit?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 17
Originally Posted by Gottalife
I wouldn't say I wasn't interested in AA, more that I didn't want to do what those AA said they had to do to get sober. So I kept AA as the very last resort, if all else failed.
The fact that all else did fail, and I turned up at AA knowing I had no other options, other than an alcoholic death, seemed to open my mind and give me the necessary willingness to do what had to be done. I never drank again.
That would be my advice to you. Join AA only of all else fails. I reckon that improved my chances.
The fact that all else did fail, and I turned up at AA knowing I had no other options, other than an alcoholic death, seemed to open my mind and give me the necessary willingness to do what had to be done. I never drank again.
That would be my advice to you. Join AA only of all else fails. I reckon that improved my chances.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 17
Originally Posted by SoberCAH
I agree with Gotta.
Willingness was the key for me to seek help.
Although the notion of AA didn't appeal to me either, it has proved to be the method for me to get and stay sober.
I would respectfully suggest that you seek help without making a list of things you don't want (AA, encouragement from SR of the type you typically see when a newcomer seeks help, etc.).
There are people on SR who have gotten the results you seek, and they very likely know a lot more about getting sober than you or any other newcomer.
We're very glad you're here, and we all hope you get and stay sober.
Willingness was the key for me to seek help.
Although the notion of AA didn't appeal to me either, it has proved to be the method for me to get and stay sober.
I would respectfully suggest that you seek help without making a list of things you don't want (AA, encouragement from SR of the type you typically see when a newcomer seeks help, etc.).
There are people on SR who have gotten the results you seek, and they very likely know a lot more about getting sober than you or any other newcomer.
We're very glad you're here, and we all hope you get and stay sober.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 205,761
Originally Posted by highlonesome
Seriously, how do people ever quit?
Once you internalise that, it's pretty much a given that the simple act of deciding to drink again becomes a really loaded question (pardon the pun)
the black and white bottom line for me was:
I could drink, or I could be the man I wanted to be...but not both.
I think I chose well - and I really made use of the support here.
It meant a lot of changes sure - but there's not much worthy to hang on to from a life where you're drinking that much anyway.
I ended up a all day everyday drinker. I was that way for several years - but I just hit 10 years sober.
There's no reason why you can't do that too one day Highlonesome
D
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,206
hl,
the common thing in all ways that people quit is that we don't put the stuff past our lips.
sounds too ridiculous to be helpful, i know, but it is the bottom line.
staying quit, for many of us, is where the challenge is. you yourself have found that out already.
and yes to enmeshment and identity-thing...i had no idea who or how i could be, without drinking.
but i was willing to find out, and willing to let those chips fall, as who i was in my continued drinking really wasn't who or how i wanted to be.
there was a time i couldn't envision who or how i could be without cigarettes, either...but i quit.
then, i was quite convinced that drinking was somehow keeping me together.
but i quit, and i'm together
hm...there was also that conviction that my anger was keeping me together...that, too, turned out not to be so.
it really is an adventure.
the common thing in all ways that people quit is that we don't put the stuff past our lips.
sounds too ridiculous to be helpful, i know, but it is the bottom line.
staying quit, for many of us, is where the challenge is. you yourself have found that out already.
and yes to enmeshment and identity-thing...i had no idea who or how i could be, without drinking.
but i was willing to find out, and willing to let those chips fall, as who i was in my continued drinking really wasn't who or how i wanted to be.
there was a time i couldn't envision who or how i could be without cigarettes, either...but i quit.
then, i was quite convinced that drinking was somehow keeping me together.
but i quit, and i'm together
hm...there was also that conviction that my anger was keeping me together...that, too, turned out not to be so.
it really is an adventure.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,654
Welcome, High, I won't say 'lone' because you're not, now that you've joined SR.
I too stopped drinking by joining SR, reading about AVRT in Secular Connections here. For many, AA works, but sadly, not for me. Fortunately I found SR! Have you tried AA or AVRT, yet?
I too stopped drinking by joining SR, reading about AVRT in Secular Connections here. For many, AA works, but sadly, not for me. Fortunately I found SR! Have you tried AA or AVRT, yet?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: CA
Posts: 1,060
Welcome Highlonesome,
I am an AA'er but I didn't go there with open arms. My plan with AA was to learn how to control my drinking and live normal because I wasn't alcoholic just a partier. Damn, I learned what alcoholism was and it described me. It was like they wrote the book about me just 45 years before I was born. I am not pushing AA if you're not open to it. But I would suggest reading the AA book (or listen to it). It helped me to accept/surrender that I needed to recover.
There are many different recovery plans, find one that you'll give it an honest attempt at recovery. Put the time and effort into your recovery that you've been putting into your drinking and drugging. You'll be surprised at the results.
I am an AA'er but I didn't go there with open arms. My plan with AA was to learn how to control my drinking and live normal because I wasn't alcoholic just a partier. Damn, I learned what alcoholism was and it described me. It was like they wrote the book about me just 45 years before I was born. I am not pushing AA if you're not open to it. But I would suggest reading the AA book (or listen to it). It helped me to accept/surrender that I needed to recover.
There are many different recovery plans, find one that you'll give it an honest attempt at recovery. Put the time and effort into your recovery that you've been putting into your drinking and drugging. You'll be surprised at the results.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
