soberandhonest

I had an event last week that, to me, means that I am at least transitioning from being in "early recovery" to "long term recovery." I'm wondering if others have had particular events where they feel they crossed this threshold and, if so, what they were and when they occurred?

For me, I am just over 500 days sober, and my event was this. I flew cross country on a red eye flight for work, arriving east coast early Tuesday morning. I had meetings all day Tuesday, culminating in an important presentation late that afternoon. I worked on my presentation for most of my flight and slept for, at most, an hour. I arrived at a lunch meeting with someone that I had never met. She arrived first and was already drinking a glass of wine. Of course, by noon I was extremely exhausted and I was feeling the stress of giving my presentation. My presentation was barely finished and I hadn't practiced it at all. The woman I had lunch with had no idea that I didn't drink and would not have thought anything at all if I had a couple of glasses of wine at lunch. In fact, nobody would ever know. If I had placed myself in that position early in my recovery (exhausted, very stressed, easy opportunity to drink with no perceivable consequences), the desire for a drink would have been overwhelming. But it wasn't. I didn't even consider having a drink. I ordered a ginger beer, stated that I don't drink, and had a nice lunch. The option of drinking was just not on the table. It wasn't anything more or less than that. Not a big decision. It was the next day that I thought more about this and realized that it feels like I have entered a new phase.

kevlarsjal

Thank you for sharing soberandhonest. I'm half a year sober and have been struggling so much lately. I think I most likely would've picked up in your position. I hope I get to the point where I don't obsess so much about it anymore. Where it's 'not a big decision' as you said

soberandhonest

You'll get there Kev. Six months is great. In my first year, I was extremely careful not to "challenge" my sobriety. I'm sorry that you're struggling, but the very fact that you are working through these struggles without picking up says a lot about you. Be proud of your accomplishments and address those struggles as best you can.

ScottFromWI

That's great soberandhonest, really glad to hear you are seeing some long term goals/dreams come true.

NYCDoglvr

My last drink was October 12, 1991 and while I suppose I have long term sobriety I keep my focus on not drinking today. I have deep respect for this disease and know that denial and rationalization still accompany me everywhere, that I could still drink if I'm not careful.

Soberwolf

Nice work on 500 days

Dee74

Congrats on 500 days and on your ongoing commitment to recovery SAH

D

Fitcher

Great post, and well done!

A great paragraph from a so-so book that I'm currently reading states,

(just substitute "drinking" for "smoking", and it's all very relevant")

"I'm not going to go home and negotiate about whether or not I'm going to smoke a cigarette just as I'm not going to go home and negotiate about whether or not I'm going to snort horse tranquilizers. I don't negotiate about snorting horse-tranquilizers because I'm not a horse-tranquilizer snorter. Now that I don't smoke, I'm not going to negotiate about smoking because I don't smoke."

InASilentWay

I am glad you mentioned this. I was recently thinking of making a gratitude list and couldn't put a particular thought in to words. I'll say it now - Nearing the 120 day mark I am grateful for being able to perceive consequences!

thanks, soberandhonest

August252015

Me, too. At first, it was just my parents and maybe one or two friends- and "at first" meant about 90 days.

I say it here often - I am ruthless about who gets a seat at my table. ONLY people who are supportive, positive and trying to live their own best lives- whether alcoholics or not- get my time and attention. Period. And this makes me the opposite of isolated or stuck or alone- I have a very full life in every way.

I still - at 14 mo- only do things that point towards sobriety- because that is my life. My problem has been removed thanks to AA and keeping a diligent program and spiritual condition, so I am not afraid of any situation - I DO put emotional sobriety and stability at the forefront and just don't participate in anything that might jeopardize THAT (I believe the physical sobriety follows my emotional kind) and I would honestly add that those things don't interest me. I wholeheartedly believe what the BB says that we come to know peace, and intuitively know how to handle situations that used to baffle us (paraphrase 4th ed).

Good OP and thoughts.

zjw

it happened to me a bunch of times the first year and a half or so. it was like i'd have a moment where i felt like one phase of recovery was closing and the next was coming or I had just turned the corner and finally gotten over some obstacle or had some kinda new found understanding of what sober life is like. I remember one time i took my kids roller skating back in the day i woulda just complained if i had even gone but i would abeenmiserable and just wanted to get home to drink. But this was like 10 months into sobriety? i went i even put on skates and get this i even had a little fun. I was like wow is this what fun is suppost to feel like? it felt so strange to me to be happy and smiling without a drink in my hand.

Fitcher

For me, it was the ability to walk past the person at Whole Foods pouring wine samples, without the slightest bit of temptation or inner negotiation. All of my old "triggers" were in place - Friday evening, long, tough work week, tired and hungry. The incident, which occurred at around my 1-year mark, stood out in my mind like a beacon in the night.

Gottalife

For me the problem was removed very early on, the realisation coming at step nine, three months in. Since that time I have not given much thought to drinking or not drinking. It is a redundant concept. In the same way that I once couldn't not drink, I now could not drink even if I tried. It has about as much attraction as drinking petrol, and my ability to drink is about the same as my ability to fly.

Funny, but I don't wake up each morning deciding whether I will fly or not today. Because I can't fly. Same goes for alcohol. I can't drink, so no decision needs to be made.

I can't drink in this context means I am incapable of drinking , as opposed to the conditional I can't drink because of the consequences.

This is the result of the AA program. If tempted, I recoil as if from a hot flame. The permanent aspect of recovery seemed to kick in at step nine, though of course I could not know that at the time. I can only see how it has worked in hindsight. In all lifes ups and downs since that time, it has never occurred to me to drink.

SteveAlex

Great thread