theVman31

I dont feel contempt towards the other people but the situation i cant be part of. This is and has been a problem area for me in the past and still is. Its like being outside myself wondering how I should be behaving. Always makes me think of fight or flight. Problem for me is I have a (big) problem with social occasions in general and i go to extraordinary efforts to avoid them. Unfortunately (fortunately) I cant hide forever

Anyways its good to read all your advice and experiences.

Anyways I dontknow if im making any sense here
Afterall what is normal ?

Avra

I have been envious too - at times. Reality is though that probably a good portion of those we see drinking have a problem and really shouldn't be. As for the others, the ones who can have a drink or two and put it away, i never wanted to drink like them anyway. When i did i was miserable (and miserable when i didnt drink like them but binged as well! ) i was never happy then . I am happy alot more often now. Alot more.
It dawned on me last week that i am more like those normies now that i dont drink at all. I feel like i have rejoined society and got back to normal life.

August252015

Nope.

I am happy to see people who handle alcohol just fine. I hope they always will. I do have pretty good radar for people with active problems (I work in a restaurant so this is easy) and even sometimes for those in recovery.

I am grateful to be an alcoholic- I wouldn't have the amazing life I have now if I wasn't. Don't wish anyone the suffering I went through but I do consider everything about my life a blessing. I can't pick and choose what to be grateful for and really be living my best life in recovery. It's also a waste of my energy to compare anything about me to others, whether it's drinking (or not) or anything else.

There are lots of great reasons not to drink - mine just happens to be that I am an alcoholic so it is necessary that I don't if I want to live (and live well). I'd wish the kind of life I have on anyone - and, truly, the "missing" piece of alcohol is not one at all.

PhoenixJ

For me that feeling was because i resented others could do something i cannot- am not 'allowed' to do. Like it was their fault. Acceptance and letting go- mindfulness of time/place works slowly for me.

Lpg

This is my first weekend without alcohol and I had the very same thoughts on my way home from work last night. How can people have a few drinks enjoy it and leave it and I can't. It's strange to watch people only have 3/4 glasses and not want more I don't get it. I keep reminding myself it's my problem not anyone else's. Stay strong. Having a fresh head today helps me feel better about it. X

MissPerfumado

I am also grateful in a weird way to be an alcoholic. Because if I wasn't, I would never have figured out that alcohol is the poison that it really is.

I don't think that the accepted "safe" levels of drinking are truly all that safe. I think truly safe dosages of alcohol are smaller than people currently believe, and are actually at levels that only very infrequent drinkers imbibe. .. to the extent that drinking is probably still unhealthy at levels most so-called "normal drinkers" indulge in.

Give me my clear mind, healthy body and purer spirit any time over one that is poisoned by alcohol.

Fitcher

I'm going to respectfully disagree with one of your observations, Lpg. "3-4 glasses" is considered binge drinking for some, and can hardly be considered "normal" drinking.

This was essentially the point that I was trying to make in my reply earlier; that alcohol abuse is so common, so mainstream these days that I'm not sure if I've witnessed truly "normal drinkers" in a long, long time.

Peace!

tomsteve

thing is that we don't know if they aren't wanting more after those 3/4 glasses. they very well could be going home and crackin open a bottle.

how can people drink a couple and I cant?
im an alcoholic
they aren't.

Doug39

I wouldn't call it anger - more like being uncomfortable. Be it normal drinkers or other alcoholics, if I am in the room and everybody is drinking I just want to leave that room.

My wife and I still socialize with drinkers since my wife is still a daily drinker so it can be tough at times.

SoberHoopsFan

I think if you get your mind in the right place, you won't have those feelings. Even if I could drink "normally" at this point, I wouldn't. Alcohol does nothing for you, even in smaller doses. Waste of time and money.

Nonsensical

I used to . Then I realized that was my addiction trying to control me with emotions and I decided not to let it have its way.

fini

Fitcher, i think Lpg means three quarters of a glass, 3/4, not 3-4.
that weird 'normal' drinking, where they leave stuff in the glass instead of emptying it and looking for more

VigilanceNow

I've definitely felt this way. The first time I went to a party as sober me (and everyone knew it) I got serious nostalgia. I felt like an outsider among my own good friends.i wasn't angry, but a part of me did want to shout hey, anyone who is here drinking solely to get drunk, that's not normal!! My perspective totally changed. I could see so clearly how the main event at that party was alcohol consumption, not socializing.

I do still feel envious of people who can have one or two and forget about it. but I know that will pass as being sober becomes my life and doesn't feel like such a struggle!

ljc267

I had a conversation with some old drinking buddies yesterday. They were outside drinking and I walked over to talk with them. I had not really talked to them in 6 months so they did not know I quit drinking. They kept asking if I wanted a beer. I kept saying "no I'm good". Finally one of them said: what did you quit"? I told them I had about 7 months ago. They looked at my in disbelief. I explained that I was having stomach issues and high blood pressure so I thought it would be a good idea to quit. This is true but only partly as I'm an alcoholic, but I figured this was all they needed to know.

They asked me if I missed it or if I thought I could have just one. The honest answer was I don't want it anymore.

When I first got sober i did resent "normal" drinkers cause I wanted to drink. Now i like waking up cognizant of the day before and being in control of myself. Now, to me drinking is a waste of time and not something I can ever do normally.

BrendaChenowyth

I don't understand not wanting to get drunk any more than non-alcoholics understand always wanting to get drunk.. I see people with fully stocked liquor cabinets and they never touch any of it. I poured somebody a glass of wine at Christmas time and they took a sip, said it was "really good", and never touched it again. Never took a second sip of the "really good" wine. I am still baffled by this.

NYCDoglvr

Not anger, but awe. That people can take or leave alcohol, that non-alcoholics can stop after a drink or two and leave some in their glass. It shows me I'm way different: if a cure for alcoholism was announced today I'd celebrate by having two bottles of champagne. This after 25 years of recovery, lol.

Fitcher

Perhaps this thread proves beyond all doubt that the phrase "Normal Drinking" is the biggest oxymoron ever conceived?

DesertDawg

I thought about it...and no I don't. Let me explain.
When I see other people (i.e. norms) out drinking and having a good time, to me they are NOT having a good time. When I was drinking, I was not having a good time unless I was pounding vodka out of a glass or straight out of the bottle. The idea of standing around sipping a beer or mixed drink or glass of wine is not appealing. My reptile brain thinks that, no matter what, if a little bit of something is good, more is always better. The only way I could enjoy myself with alcohol is to get annihilated. And I know what always, as sure as the sun rises in the east, comes after that. And no high or buzz or good time is worth that.

kittycat3

I've felt that anger/jealousy/comparison syndrome too. Now I feel grateful I don't rely upon a substance to have fun, fake intimacy, or have deep conversations with friends. I feel somewhat sorry for my friends that still binge drink - we are nearing middle age now, and those that still drink heavily are gaining weight, suffering other negative physical effects, and wasting their days being hungover. Not to mention the money they spend on booze!! When I am feeling nostalgic about my favorite drink I just remember the dark places it brought me to and how much my life has improved since I quit, and that beer / afternoon getting drunk on a patio suddenly isn't at all enticing.

SoberTyger

My view on drinkers differ, really, on what type of drinkers.
When i look at the real broken down people, the ones sitting on the bench, the homeless, or the ones sitting at the cheapest most run down bars from morning to evening, having lost everything, I'd say I lave a lot of love and compassion for these people, because I know I would have been one of them if I hadn't had a family who halp me over and over again.
I don't have a problem at all with the normal drinkers who can take a glass of wine or 2 at special occations and be fine with that.
The only people I really have a problem with are the people who still think getting drunk and hammered is cool, the ones who brag about their drunkeness and cheer at their mates getting wasted beyond control - I won't say i hate them, but i find it so stupid to be playing with fire like that knowing what it can lead to, and eventually will lead to until you manage to stop before it gets really serious. Yet I was one of these people too before i completely lost control