Mountainmanbob

Early on in sobriety it seemed that I was fighting everyone and everything. I know, some of the Recovery literature said that, this was something that we did while still drinking but, I was sober and still fighting.

My wife noticed the stress that it all was causing me and one day told me to, "Pick Your Battles." I was truly wore out at the time and I took her message to heart. It's been working out for me very well -- life has become much easier now.

There have been people and or things that have come up over the last few years that have rubbed me sideways. Most times now when this happens I give the matter or person deep thought.

Questions
Is this really a battle that I need to be involved in?
Am I not actually powerless over this situation?
Is it even worth the time and effort to be thinking about it?
Am I trying to control my life or others lives?
Are things running their natural course or am I jumping in way too deep?

When finding myself in the fight battle mode.
Many if not most times -- I can just walk away and feel the relief.

A nice non battle sober day wished for all,
MB

kittycat3

Thank you MM. I needed these words today.
All week I've been fighting my temper - bugged at work, bugged outside of work....and most (all?) times my anger / annoyance does nothing to aid in the situation, other than to get me riled up.
I appreciate this wisdom!

thomas11

Good topic Bob. My wife is pretty feisty herself, and I often use the phrase "do you really want to pick this battle?" It gives her pause and makes her think about it first.

Myself, I have a rather shrewd way of dealing with things. I often tell people "do I need to know what you want to tell me"? If the answer is no, then I tell them that I'd rather not know. The simpler the better.

Soberwolf

Excellent post MM

Mountainmanbob

Thank you two for sharing -- this helps me a lot.
Much sober help needed up top the mountain today
and probably also tomorrow.

A nice sober day wished for all,
M-Bob

zjw

early in my carreer someone i disliked asked me "how many hats can you wear?" over the years that very phrases has had many different meanings in many different situations.

Sure would be nice if we could all be superman easily do it all but it doesnt work that way lol.

Mountainmanbob

That is a good question.
Thank you we can use that one.
Mountainman

REsoberALITY

Same to you MB! Very good questions to ask myself in those times.

leviathan

This concept is at the heart of my new life.

For me, picking my battles certainly translates to picking less.

The world presents us with endless opportunities to get upset. They will always be there if I find that I miss being ticked off all the time. LOL!

-Great post, man.

Mountainmanbob

Had a few chores to do here around the house today on this Saturday. I went to drain our water heater and found it to be plugged up. I'll put that battle off for another day when I will have more time so as to do a more full service type of job. If I would have taken too much on today it might have gotten me very uptight, trying to do too much. Some things can wait.

Kept my sober mood in check today.

Mountainman

hpdw

I love your post Mountainmanbob , this helped me immensely as its something I struggle with . I have made a list and laminated it as a little card for my wallet of the questions you ask .
Jeff your right , I am going to start using that way of thinking too as I often listen to peoples rubbish at work that I don't really want to know about .

If I can find even one helpful post a week it is a positive thing and I am rating this as " my most helpful post of the week "

Mags1

Great post MM. I used to try to be solver of all problems, even if it caused me a great deal of stress!

I've learnt not to do that now. I don't need those battles, and if it is something I have to deal with, deal with it when I'm ready and prepared.

I'm going to endeavour to pick my battles and learn to walk away!

Thanks again, MM.

Mountainmanbob

It's like a mine field out there!
I'm wondering what the heck is going on up top the mountain.
Seems that the more that I try my best to stay away
the battle fields get closer and closer.
Oh-yes I do understand the way that I thought in the old days.
A little drink will wash all of this away
and then maybe I can just deal with it all on another day.
Life for the sober one does not work that way.
I must face these issues and people head on.
But, with that thought some questions must be asked.
Why am I losing my serenity over this?
Am I once again making the mistake of fighting everything and everyone?
Is it time to step back, wake up and smell the coffee, keeping my peace of mind?

Maybe I had better resort back to something I heard at a meeting?
Sometimes the best way to show love
is to say nothing at all.

It sure seems to work when I work it.

As seen today from up top the mountain,
Bob

kittycat3

Tough day today MM. I'm praying for those lost in Orlando.
What a crazy world we live in. Sometimes we really have to look hard for the good. And every time I really try I can find it.
Hope you fared well at the mountain top today.

Mountainmanbob

Yes, it's such a sad slaughter of innocent lives.
Most of us wish to get along with all people, religions and races.

Picking our battles.
We may not like war but, war may like us.

Prayers sent from the mountain top.
Bob

August252015

Another thumbs up for this topic.

I have been dealing with this issue in a specific way today: I am tackling bills, routine current ones as well as past-dues/overlooked/collection type (mostly medical) from my drinking days.

One bite at a time, and step by step addressing what the situation is, what I CAN do, what the result is, what to do next, etc. My sponsor is being a great sounding board, guide and specific-idea-giver, and I also have my Dad to discuss these things with. The big deal is that I am consciously addressing each one - in a to do list, and in a what-I-can-handle-at-a-time mindframe- and letting it go.

Progress!

SoberCAH

Thanks for the wisdom of the OP, Bob.

I caught myself walking down a path which could have resulted in my needing to make an amends.

I thought about the last time I had to do so, and simply reversed course.

Mountainmanbob

Yes, a healthy conscience is a good thing to have and maintain.

When I first got sober it seemed like I was repeating the Serenity Prayer many, many times each day. There was much to deal with (so it seemed) and this simple prayer pulled me through the rough moments, days, weeks and months.

What happened as I got a little ways down the sober road of recovery? Did I forget to use the tool that had helped me so much? It appears so. I'm working that tool back into my life here lately. I once again am finding it to be very simple and very helpful.

A nice sober day wished for all,
MB

Mountainmanbob

7:53 AM
Battle sober free today and planning on keeping it that way.
Tired of fighting.
Fighting for what?
Only to find no serenity.
Enjoy peace and unclouded thinking when it can be found.
The boat is not sinking don't rock it.

Carpathia

That's it, exactly: fighting for what?

Someone said the battles she fights aren't of the epic variety, but of the small flea-and-gnat variety. That's me, too. I'm learning to spot triggers early and go to that happy place (or a mindful breathing place).

You can trick your brain into thinking "happy" just by smiling in the midst of a stressful event! Yesterday, caught in a non-moving line at the store, I tried smiling. Before I knew it, I was laughing at myself and the silliness of it.