Meisme

I drank yesterday. I had 8 days and went back out. I don't know what's wrong with me except I am an alcoholic that no matter how much drinking and weed has hurt my life I keep going back to them.
It's a sad life waking up depressed, hungover, and alone again.

Fly N Buy

Yes, it is - but change is possible. Make a decision - support it with action. I couldn't think my way out of alcoholism and will power alone didn't suffice.

Seek the help you need. Look around - no one special here. Just made sobriety number one objective in our lives.

gregknight

Yup, that's whats wrong with both of us. Don't beat yourself up. Just stop drinking now and get a long term plan for sobriety; AA, rehab, therapy, etc.. Sit down and think about it and write it down. Sometimes it's better if you see it written out. You need help and a plan to stay sober, IMHO.

Soberwolf

Don't stop trying because of 1 setback - in this together Meisme

MarkTwain

I think you're right Greg, and I'm not so humble about it.

(And add me to make three in the "what's wrong with both of us" category!)

tomsteve

Imo, its a little more than youre an alcoholic. im an alcoholic,too, but haven't had a drink in a few years. I decided I had had enough. I surrendered.
and went from practicing alcoholic to recovered alcoholic.

so, imo, you haven't surrendered.
hope ya decide to do that soon.

personally I think them relapses end with a drink.

SteveAlex

Your back. Thats what matters! Post before you drink! We all care about you.

Nonsensical

I remember thinking something similar. Yeah, I'm an alcoholic, but why do I keep making these bad choices about alcohol. As if knowing I was an alcoholic was going to magically remove my maladapted appetite for alcohol.

For 25 years I honestly thought I was going to wake up one morning and not want alcohol any longer. God was just going to miracle my ass sober in the middle of the night and it would be over.

It never happened.

Making a plan and working the plan has produced much better results.

Best of Luck on Your Journey!

SoberLeigh

I am glad that you are back, Meisme.

Have you formulated a plan?

I'll post a good link in a minute.

SoberLeigh

As promised:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...highlight=Psst

SoberLeigh

Another:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...very-plan.html

SnazzyDresser

The process of dealing with our alcohol problems can be very humbling, that's for sure. Ups and downs along the way. Keep your eye on the final goal of a happy healthy life free from the poison of alcohol and keep hammering away at it. The human spirit we all have within us is indomitable.

SoberLeigh

We are here for you, Meisme.

Dee74

Hi meisme

I thought much the same thing - maybe I was that kind of alcoholic who just couldn't change...

wrong.

You can change your decisions - it takes a lot of effort and support, but you can definitely change and not go back to drinking and drugs.

Whatever it takes - if you commit to putting your energy into not drinking rather than drinking you'll get there.

Did you have a recovery plan this time at all?

D

PhoenixJ

welcome

waynetheking

Pray about it. Ask for understanding and relief from this disease. Treat it as such and don't drink today. Get a plan and work on it. Eat, sleep and exercise well. Don't drink under any circumstances. With time, the desire to drink will leave you. You have to take action. MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF ACTION. This disease will not stop as long as you are drinking. It's up to you change that.
We're here for ya.

Ken33xx

I can identify with you 110%. I was often remorseful after waking up and knew I had to quit or at least cut back.

But I never could cut back and I only decided to go to an AA meeting because my life had become unmanageable. I was coming in for a crash landing.

But what is unmanageability? Well, that depends on the individual.

However, until I could see this. Really see I needed to take action I wasn't gong to stop.

I just couldn't fathom giving up drinking for good.

BullDog777

I hope you make it back soon.
There is another way. This way. Believe it or not, this, is the easier way.
The beginning is messy and scary and horrible, but for me, almost nothing was worse than feeling hopeless.
I don't feel hopeless anymore.

Delilah1

Hi Meisme,

I'm glad you came right back. The links that Leigh posted are really good ones.

It took me a while to finally get sobriety right. I spent some time attempting moderation, and it never worked out very well for me. After alternating between periods of sobriety, and failed attempts at moderation for a few years I finally knew I was done. I have not had a sip of alcohol since December 31, 2015.

Spend some time looking at the above links and write down some ideas that may work for you. Start checking in here each day, two great threads are the monthly classes, you should join April 2017, and also the 24 hour thread.

Looking forward to seeing you back here tomorrow for day one.

❤Delilah