Is moderation even possible?

Old 04-17-2017, 06:52 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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I can only speak for myself, but I was able to moderate, at times, but it was only because I thought I should or needed to not because I EVER wanted to.

I continually fought a losing battle until I quit for good.
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Old 04-17-2017, 07:00 PM
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Originally Posted by ljc267 View Post
I continually fought a losing battle until I quit for good.

This is where I'm at. Why play with fire??
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Old 04-17-2017, 07:04 PM
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I don't believe it can be done long term. There are those who have tried to moderate, and have been able to keep it under control for a while, maybe a few months, but in the end, they always end up back drinking more than they intend to.

Trying to moderate is torture, in my opinion.
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Old 04-17-2017, 07:16 PM
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I think the longest time I ever "moderated" was about ten days. It was pure white knuckle hell and I thought of nothing but drinking more after I hit my self imposed daily cap. It is so much easier mentally to quit and not have your AV shouting in your ear all day long.
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Old 04-17-2017, 07:23 PM
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Originally Posted by steve-in-kville View Post
But why? This is what I am driving at. Addiction is addiction, right?
I don't buy into that line of thought at all.

Addiction is complicated, it, as well as people are not binary.

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Old 04-17-2017, 09:24 PM
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I don't think it is possible. Almost every story I've ever read on here involving "moderation" typically ends with the guy or gal ending up "right back where they started" in terms of drinking.

I think in the vast majority of cases, trying "moderation" just makes the addiction worse. We're not normal people, we can't "moderate".

Quite honestly, I think "moderation" can be outright DANGEROUS considering the very real possibility of triggering a second round of withdrawals. I had a ROUGH withdrawal, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy...... an awful miserable experience.
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Old 04-17-2017, 09:28 PM
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Originally Posted by SoberLeigh View Post
I've never known an alcoholic to be able to moderate.

Heaven knows I tried.

One thing I know beyond a doubt is that I love sobriety!!!!
I am 100% with Leigh. I tried and failed at moderation way too many times.

I am grateful for my sobriety, and cannot imagine drinking again.
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Old 04-17-2017, 10:07 PM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by steve-in-kville View Post
I realize this is a recovery forum, and the vast majority of us are here because we are addicts, specifically alcoholics. But has anyone ever known anyone that was an alcoholic, and was able to "change their ways" and be able to moderate their drinking?

It seems the "success" stories are far and few between.
I think it depends on the definition of moderation.

My definition of moderation would be having a a couple of drinks, once or twice a week, with the occaisional visit to a restaurant and indulging a bit more. So perhaps a yearly average of 6 drinks a week.

I know people who drink like that, but theyre 100% not alcoholics or converted ex-alcoholics.

I do think its possible to drink less, i've kind of done that myself, but the problem is, the drinking pattern remain, i.e. I would still drink every day, just less. The drinking would still be my main 'hobby' in life, even though I drank less of it.

So whilst we can change the amount we drink, its difficult to also change the mindset if still drinking regularly.

If that makes any sense ...
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Old 04-17-2017, 10:55 PM
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Old 04-17-2017, 11:01 PM
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I have an extremist attitude, I'm all in when it comes to whatever I am doing.

I have been able to drink just 1 drink in the past, but honestly it's a waste of time to me. I watched a friend bring home Chipotle, drink a beer, drink a glass of water, and drink a cup of tea... I couldn't wrap my head around it. Why even drink the beer at that point? lol
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Old 04-17-2017, 11:12 PM
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For me,

Moderation = something I don't want to do = a constant fight


Sobriety = surrender = peace

Moreover, the fighting if trying to moderate will only get worse. I may win on some days but so what? It would still have been a struggle and I won't have enjoyed it so what was the point? Over time though I would loose and the consequences would get worse every time.
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Old 04-17-2017, 11:22 PM
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Old 04-17-2017, 11:25 PM
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I used to be a smoker (about 10-15 cigarettes per day) but quit a couple of months after I got sober. I do also enjoy a cigar once in while and it never causes me to want more cigars or a cigarette. As far as alcohol is concerned though I've never been able to moderate it, once I have one in front of me, before I even take a sip I'm already focused on how to get the next one, and panicking in case I can't. So, for me at least, moderation isn't an option and if I'm honest I wouldn't actually want to moderate it, the idea of just having one has always been lost on me and my AV.
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Old 04-18-2017, 03:32 AM
  # 34 (permalink)  
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Like others have said, I'm sure there are some that can stop, then return to moderate drinking, but I along with I suggest, most alcoholics just can't.

I've tried so many times after being sober, couple of weeks, couple of months, couple of years, the result is always the same, one drink and it's back off to the races.

I think an alcoholics brain is wired differently to normal folk, we're never 'cured' it's just in remission, and all it takes is that one drink to bring it all flooding back.

Good Luck to anyone that can do it, but for me at least, Einstein nailed it.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results
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Old 04-18-2017, 03:43 AM
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Possible...maybe for me.

Possible and even slightly enjoyable, not a chance for me.
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Old 04-18-2017, 03:43 AM
  # 36 (permalink)  
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When it came to drinking, moderation was not even in my vocabulary.
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Old 04-18-2017, 03:53 AM
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The thing I noticed about people who moderate is that it is because they have a natural aversion to the effects of alcohol, not because they have implemented some plan.

I only have an aversion to drinking when I am 100% sober. As soon as I drink, drinking more sounds like a great idea. I have no natural aversion to the effects of alcohol. I know there are some sources that report a very small percentage of problem drinkers can go back to moderate drinking; but the odds are low, so very, very low, that it is not worth the risk.
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Old 04-18-2017, 03:53 AM
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And - ongoing, vibrant sobriety is my success story. I'd wish it and only that kind of life on every alcoholic on the planet. Why would I ever risk that certainty for any "possibility" of success with any kind of drinking? Answer- only because I am an alcoholic. So I work every day NOT to think that is an option. Ever.
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Old 04-18-2017, 04:24 AM
  # 39 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by steve-in-kville View Post
But why? This is what I am driving at. Addiction is addiction, right?

(I was never a tobacco user, BTW)
Yes addiction is addiction, but I don't agree that alcoholism is the same as tobacco addiction. Based in my experience the two things affected me in completely different ways. For one thing, a cigarette satisfied the craving, where a drink amplified it. Almost polar opposites.

A defining characteristic of alcoholism is the inability to stop or moderate. So if one could moderate successfully, one wouldn't be an alcoholic. However if you use the broader diagnosis of alcohol use disorder, the vast majority of those folks can stop or moderate, and do it all the time. The just move on in life as other things catch their interest.

Many of my school mates were like that. Crazy drinking for a year or two, then that phase of their life was over, and the went on to do other things.
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Old 04-18-2017, 05:00 AM
  # 40 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by thomas11 View Post
An alcoholic who is moderating is likely fighting it tooth and nail, and while they may be successful for a period of time, inevitably they will end up drinking alcoholically again. That is just my opinion.
I have to agree with Thomas, Ljc. I can attest to this. I'm one of those people.
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