what would you do?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
I can only share my own ESH with you.
Experience, Strength and Hope.
When I entered recovery at about 7 yrs
into our marriage, once I returned home
from my court appointed family intervention
rehab stay for 28 days, I was given an ultimatum
from my spouse that if I ever picked up a drink
again in the house and marriage then all I
needed to do was pack my bags and out Id be.
For the rest of our 25 yrs marriage, I did
remain sober, FOR ME, not him, and because
I didn't want to loose my 2 wonderful,
talented kids or my home.
Our marriage had struggles through out
the 25 yrs due to lack of communication
and understanding. When one in the family
is living in recovery, which was me, and my
spouse who had no addiction, considered a
normie, we were like living on 2 different
planets.
After the kids went off to school and our
home became empty, we sought little help
with a marriage councilor and it didn't last.
It was explained to me that while living
a recovery life, I needed to do everything
I could on my part to save the marriage before
existing it in which I did.
I used my recovery program and my Faith
and help from the outside such as counciling
and the marriage ended.
I did the footwork necessary to move out
and relocate back to my hometown and the
marriage ended peacefully and swiftly.
Both of us have remarried and moved on
and I am still committed and responsible
for my on going sobriety for some 26 yrs.
Cover all your bases before you make
that final decision to move forward.
Experience, Strength and Hope.
When I entered recovery at about 7 yrs
into our marriage, once I returned home
from my court appointed family intervention
rehab stay for 28 days, I was given an ultimatum
from my spouse that if I ever picked up a drink
again in the house and marriage then all I
needed to do was pack my bags and out Id be.
For the rest of our 25 yrs marriage, I did
remain sober, FOR ME, not him, and because
I didn't want to loose my 2 wonderful,
talented kids or my home.
Our marriage had struggles through out
the 25 yrs due to lack of communication
and understanding. When one in the family
is living in recovery, which was me, and my
spouse who had no addiction, considered a
normie, we were like living on 2 different
planets.
After the kids went off to school and our
home became empty, we sought little help
with a marriage councilor and it didn't last.
It was explained to me that while living
a recovery life, I needed to do everything
I could on my part to save the marriage before
existing it in which I did.
I used my recovery program and my Faith
and help from the outside such as counciling
and the marriage ended.
I did the footwork necessary to move out
and relocate back to my hometown and the
marriage ended peacefully and swiftly.
Both of us have remarried and moved on
and I am still committed and responsible
for my on going sobriety for some 26 yrs.
Cover all your bases before you make
that final decision to move forward.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 1,543
Never been to AA so I don't know the Big Book, the Steps or other related guidance/material.
However I have read enough about sponsors to know their are an awful lot of good ones and quite a few crappy ones. On that basis I wouldn't let a sponsor suggest specifically massive life changing multiple choice options for me....
One thing I do reflect on though is that the definition of doing the same thing and expecting a different result is often described as madness. If the current situation is something that you want to change then you must do SOMETHING. What that something is I'm not qualified to say.
Tony
However I have read enough about sponsors to know their are an awful lot of good ones and quite a few crappy ones. On that basis I wouldn't let a sponsor suggest specifically massive life changing multiple choice options for me....
One thing I do reflect on though is that the definition of doing the same thing and expecting a different result is often described as madness. If the current situation is something that you want to change then you must do SOMETHING. What that something is I'm not qualified to say.
Tony
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