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-   -   Job hunting is the closest thing to hell (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/alcoholism/407423-job-hunting-closest-thing-hell.html)

YoungHyde25 04-05-2017 05:02 PM

Job hunting is the closest thing to hell
 
Last July I got a 1st time DUI, then 3 months later I was hit by a car when I was staring a new job. This new job that I was at laid mostly everyone off for the winter when I tried to return 2 months later, but told me to come back in March. I went back in March, the manager tells me to come in to talk to him 2 weeks later, but when I do he’s not there, and another manager made me fill out an application over again. The main manager didn’t say anything about having to fill out another application, but I did it anyways reluctantly, figuring maybe this is just a formality. I didn’t hear anything back for a few days, I figured if the manager asked me to come in he would at least touch base with me, so I called 2 days later, these geniuses thought I was a cook, when I was actually a busser, they said it would be another 2 weeks before they needed a busser. I called 3 weeks later asking if they still need help, the head manager says yes, but then he starts playing dumb, he asked me if I filled out an application, and he knows I did, he said he would get back to me in 2 weeks but I’ve yet to hear back from him.

I was there for the opening of the restaurant, and I was one of the 2 people who set the restaurant up, I unpacked the dishes from the boxes, swept the entire area and moved all the tables and chairs around. I also set up all the orientation folders for everyone who was hired, along with another girl. I was not paid for any of my work, they put my entire paycheck into a uniform I never received. So, I did all this work for them, for free, and they treat me like this.

I just don’t understand what’s wrong with people, I’m a very kind and understanding person, but don’t waste my time. I have not been able to sleep this past week, no one has ever done anything like this to me, ever. I honestly feel very played, i'm upset and hurt, and if it wasn’t for training at their restaurant, I would of never been on the street I was on to get hit that day. Now i'm back looking for a job, two to be exact, job hunting is probably the closest thing to Hell. There are times when I would have rather my mother aborted me than to go through this.

I’ve been applying everywhere, mostly to hotels, banks and restaurants. For some reason, Hotels and Banks won’t hire me, I walk in and I already feel like i'm wasting my time or i'm stupid for even applying. Unfortunately those are the higher paying jobs on the minimum wage scale. I’ve also been trying restaurants, but I’ve heard nothing back. Sometimes I try calling to follow up on my application, but some employers have bad attitudes and get upset about it, so I don’t do it anymore. I feel like, at this rate, I will never find a job, and I have to pay my alcohol classes off because my deadline is in September, and if I don’t pay it off they’ll make me repeat it.

I just feel like getting that DUI, combined with getting hit by a car, combined with getting screwed over by that restaurant, was too much. I honestly can’t see myself bouncing back from this, I mean what am I going to do? What if no one hires me by the deadline? I’m applying everywhere, and it’s like these employers don’t like me at all. They won’t even give me a chance, i'm sick of having to be at the mercy of other people, who wants to live that way? Things are happening, my mother has fibroids and has to get medical care, I have and infected tooth I need removed.

The only good news is that i've managed to get back into college again, and i'm doing great in my classes. I was able to get $2,000.00 back in a refund, most of that went to books, a computer for my classes, a calculator, and I was able to finance a tooth extraction, I would of been dead from a tooth abscess if I wait around for my last job to get back to me.

But this situation is very depressing. I've gotten to a point where I won't have kids unless i'm really rich, because I don't want them to go through what I have. I don't even drink anymore, partially because my mother threatened to kick me out if she caught me drinking. But I want to focus on getting my life together, saving up and moving to get a fresh start. To be honest i'm not completely 100% sold on the sobriety thing, but even if I wanted to drink and party, I hate it so much where I live, it would be like trapping myself here. But people on here are very supportive, and it's the only place I can share my feelings. Not looking for anyone to come up with a solution, just felt like getting this on my chest.

Dee74 04-05-2017 05:09 PM

Maybe the situation is more a reflection on them than on you Hyde? Maybe they're just not organised well.

I'd definitely continue to look at other job options.

I know it's hard but if you keep trying, the effort will pay off :)

and...if you're not completely sold on recovery yet - just imagine how much worse all this would be if you were drinking as well - now that really would be hell....

D

DontRemember 04-05-2017 05:10 PM

Are you able to perform community service in lieu of an actual cash payment? With my most recent DUI they offered I either pay the $1250 fine or work 84hrs of community service. Just a thought.

SoberCAH 04-06-2017 03:14 PM

I sure admire your persistence, Hyde.

I suspect that your employment prospects will start looking better real soon as warmer weather approaches.

FWIW, I remember doing a good bit of drunk driving in Myrtle Beach when I was a young man.

Please keep us posted.

We want to know how you do in getting a job and in staying sober.

YoungHyde25 04-07-2017 04:16 PM


Originally Posted by DontRemember (Post 6398621)
Are you able to perform community service in lieu of an actual cash payment? With my most recent DUI they offered I either pay the $1250 fine or work 84hrs of community service. Just a thought.

Well this isn't a legal fine, the court just gave me time served, this is the fine from the place I had to go to do my required alcohol classes, to get my license back. The bill ended up coming to $2,200. The accident really put me back because I would of had the money saved up for it already. It would probably take only a month to save up if I had 2 jobs that paid atleast $8 and hour.

The problem now is just finding those jobs. I have no car so i'm very limited, and not alot of places like having to schedule around a 2nd job.

YoungHyde25 04-07-2017 04:37 PM


Originally Posted by Dee74 (Post 6398619)
Maybe the situation is more a reflection on them than on you Hyde? Maybe they're just not organised well.

I'd definitely continue to look at other job options.

I know it's hard but if you keep trying, the effort will pay off :)

and...if you're not completely sold on recovery yet - just imagine how much worse all this would be if you were drinking as well - now that really would be hell....

D

To make matters worse, this place was right up the street, walking distance, and I received a call from another restaurant, but held out for this one. I really hope to find something soon, I need to have a car and be driving again by the fall, because I plan to take some college classes on campus.

I think a big reason why I used to drink all the time was a reflection about how I feel about where I live. Life sort of made sense, I hated most of my jobs, alot of women I liked were in relationships. Things seemed bad, but I would use alcohol to balance it out, and everything seemed stable in a way. I would visit strip clubs alot because the girls there were easy to talk to, it took the place of trying to form real relationships as it seemed easy and no emotions were at stake. Unfortunately I ended up developing feelings for one of the dancers, and she kind of turned me down, that's when things sort of took a turn for the worse, alcohol wise.

Now i'm at a point in life where that lifestyle just isn't enough for me. I want to have a job I can be proud of doing and enjoy. I want financial stability. That's why I went back to college. And someday I hope to have a real actual relationship, not a fake one. After I become financial secure and start living on my own of-coarse. But when I think about the days when I would drink heavily and go out, I feel like perhaps I was looking for something, or someone.

eyeshake 04-08-2017 12:56 PM

I'm right there with you. I was fired in sobriety from a good paying job that I couldn't stand. I'm lucky to live in Massachusetts where I've been able to collect unemployment and get state health insurance. I remind myself that drinking will not make me feel any better and will make my job hunt much more difficult.

Dee74 04-08-2017 03:35 PM

I think most of us have underlying reasons for drinking...but we sometimes extrapolate that out to 'If I move, get this job and that girl I'll be happy and no need to drink'....sometimes it even becomes something like...'if I fix the underlying reasons, I can maybe drink normally'.

I'm sure a good job and a steady relationship can do wonders for you, but those things alone weren't enough to 'fix' me.

I had underlying reasons, but I also developed alcoholism along the way...and, fair or not, I forget that at my peril.

D

waynetheking 04-08-2017 07:13 PM

"The more you learn the more you earn"
God has a plan for you young hyde. Just don't drink over this.
Hang in there buddy.


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