Things I wish they told me about drinking
Just a nerd
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Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 79
Things I wish they told me about drinking
This post isn't meant to force my opinion on anybody else, rather to demonstrate a few aspects of how 'in the dark' I've felt about alcohol for years.
It's a bit ranty, but any insight is appreciated. I could be wrong about any one of these things, but they seem to be true for me.
From what I can gather, drinking basically gives you the boost of serotonin and GABA that you can actually get naturally by abstaining from alcohol and addressing any of the nutrient deficiencies involved with being a drinker (all drinkers have them to some degree, whether they impact their life or not). It doesn’t even take long after abstaining for your neurotransmitters to rebound (under the right conditions / self-care) and you’ll inevitably have those ‘good’ / drunk feelings seeping into your everyday life… except it’ll be the natural form, and won’t require vomiting or being hungover the next day.
The 80%+ drinkers in the US alone are clearly doing it to self-medicate, and to varying degrees for different purposes. Everybody drinks to relax, be more sociable, or to improve their mood - all of which are supposed to be inbuilt (not to mention physiological) processes, more or less. Alcohol has been proven to erode those very mechanisms, which is one of the aspects that makes it a highly addictive substance. No drinker is 100% safe from the toxic, addictive effects of alcohol.
For me, drinking tended to relieve my severe social anxiety and panic disorder symptoms - or so, that was the illusion it presented me with. In reality, I’ve always been a shy person, but these problems (and the severity thereof) never even existed before I started drinking heavily. Now, the only reason I needed a beer (or many) to ‘relax’ was because I was unknowingly ensnared by the cycle of addiction - the underlying tension was directly caused by alcoholic complications in the first place, but the illusion did a great job of fooling me into believing otherwise.
The tip (for me) is to always remember from where that stress / anxiety / insomnia /depression (or panic, in my case) actually originated. It wasn’t the lack of alcohol causing me so much grief, it was the fact that I had drank to begin with, and the effects proved to be far-reaching; far enough to trick my mind into believing that alcohol was ‘solving’ the issues that it itself created. This is exactly what drugs do - they fill the hole that they helped you dig. Knowing to watch out for that simple trap is probably one of the most important things I could do for myself, personally.
The last thing I’ll always have to remember is that any amount of alcohol can bring me back to square one - maybe it’s due to a genetic condition called pyroluria that I seem to have, part of an ongoing candida problem that drinkers tend to become afflicted with at some point or another, or just the disruption between chemical signaling within my own brain, but the truth remains the same - I’m always more resilient, sociable, happy, and excited about life without alcohol.
If it takes feeling truly awful to know what it means to feel ‘good’ for a change (and it’s a long way back to normalcy), then alcohol is an odd a blessing in disguise; it teaches you how bad things can actually get, which in turn makes your life without it even sweeter. If you can survive being a drinker and and putting your body and mind through chemical / adrenal / nutritional hell, every other way you turn is actually up from there. This applies to all drinkers, in my opinion, and quitting is just one of the many stages of maturity along the way.
Nobody told me that everyone is shy on the inside, and we’re all bullshitting each other anyway. They also sold me on the ‘alcoholism’ and ‘alcohol allergy’ theories above the truth - alcohol being an addictive, toxic substance - but it was worth it to figure it out on my own anyway. Billions of dollars would be going down the drain if we didn’t all think ‘that could never happen to me’. We all painted a horrid picture of alcoholism (like a poor homeless man sleeping on a park bench in the winter with a bottle of liquor by his side) to treat ourselves like we didn’t have just a lesser version of the same social cancer that led him there. It could happen to anyone, and there’s a lot of gray area even before that point that ‘casual drinkers’ don’t even want to think about.
Most importantly, I was taught to blame myself instead of blaming the huge amount of marketing and social conditioning involved that keeps the whole world hooked on drinking (and often times simultaneously driving). That self-blame led me to an awful lot of relapses, and I couldn’t believe there was another way out.
It's a bit ranty, but any insight is appreciated. I could be wrong about any one of these things, but they seem to be true for me.
From what I can gather, drinking basically gives you the boost of serotonin and GABA that you can actually get naturally by abstaining from alcohol and addressing any of the nutrient deficiencies involved with being a drinker (all drinkers have them to some degree, whether they impact their life or not). It doesn’t even take long after abstaining for your neurotransmitters to rebound (under the right conditions / self-care) and you’ll inevitably have those ‘good’ / drunk feelings seeping into your everyday life… except it’ll be the natural form, and won’t require vomiting or being hungover the next day.
The 80%+ drinkers in the US alone are clearly doing it to self-medicate, and to varying degrees for different purposes. Everybody drinks to relax, be more sociable, or to improve their mood - all of which are supposed to be inbuilt (not to mention physiological) processes, more or less. Alcohol has been proven to erode those very mechanisms, which is one of the aspects that makes it a highly addictive substance. No drinker is 100% safe from the toxic, addictive effects of alcohol.
For me, drinking tended to relieve my severe social anxiety and panic disorder symptoms - or so, that was the illusion it presented me with. In reality, I’ve always been a shy person, but these problems (and the severity thereof) never even existed before I started drinking heavily. Now, the only reason I needed a beer (or many) to ‘relax’ was because I was unknowingly ensnared by the cycle of addiction - the underlying tension was directly caused by alcoholic complications in the first place, but the illusion did a great job of fooling me into believing otherwise.
The tip (for me) is to always remember from where that stress / anxiety / insomnia /depression (or panic, in my case) actually originated. It wasn’t the lack of alcohol causing me so much grief, it was the fact that I had drank to begin with, and the effects proved to be far-reaching; far enough to trick my mind into believing that alcohol was ‘solving’ the issues that it itself created. This is exactly what drugs do - they fill the hole that they helped you dig. Knowing to watch out for that simple trap is probably one of the most important things I could do for myself, personally.
The last thing I’ll always have to remember is that any amount of alcohol can bring me back to square one - maybe it’s due to a genetic condition called pyroluria that I seem to have, part of an ongoing candida problem that drinkers tend to become afflicted with at some point or another, or just the disruption between chemical signaling within my own brain, but the truth remains the same - I’m always more resilient, sociable, happy, and excited about life without alcohol.
If it takes feeling truly awful to know what it means to feel ‘good’ for a change (and it’s a long way back to normalcy), then alcohol is an odd a blessing in disguise; it teaches you how bad things can actually get, which in turn makes your life without it even sweeter. If you can survive being a drinker and and putting your body and mind through chemical / adrenal / nutritional hell, every other way you turn is actually up from there. This applies to all drinkers, in my opinion, and quitting is just one of the many stages of maturity along the way.
Nobody told me that everyone is shy on the inside, and we’re all bullshitting each other anyway. They also sold me on the ‘alcoholism’ and ‘alcohol allergy’ theories above the truth - alcohol being an addictive, toxic substance - but it was worth it to figure it out on my own anyway. Billions of dollars would be going down the drain if we didn’t all think ‘that could never happen to me’. We all painted a horrid picture of alcoholism (like a poor homeless man sleeping on a park bench in the winter with a bottle of liquor by his side) to treat ourselves like we didn’t have just a lesser version of the same social cancer that led him there. It could happen to anyone, and there’s a lot of gray area even before that point that ‘casual drinkers’ don’t even want to think about.
Most importantly, I was taught to blame myself instead of blaming the huge amount of marketing and social conditioning involved that keeps the whole world hooked on drinking (and often times simultaneously driving). That self-blame led me to an awful lot of relapses, and I couldn’t believe there was another way out.
Sober AF Since 3/20/16
Join Date: Jan 2016
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Well said. Lots of parallels to my story as well. Using alcohol to overcome various social phobias seems to be a common theme around here.
I also completely agree with the thought of using sobriety to achieve similar highs as those experienced during drinking, minus the hangovers, DUIs and depression that accompanies it. In fact, the highs I've found on the side of a mountain while skiing or mountain biking completely dwarf anything I've found in a bottle.
Thanks for the insight and wisdom.
I also completely agree with the thought of using sobriety to achieve similar highs as those experienced during drinking, minus the hangovers, DUIs and depression that accompanies it. In fact, the highs I've found on the side of a mountain while skiing or mountain biking completely dwarf anything I've found in a bottle.
Thanks for the insight and wisdom.
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: East of Eden
Posts: 420
I'll never blame my alcoholism on marketing or social conditioning. I drank because I like the buzz, period. No one ever pressured me into it or made me feel outcast because I wouldn't drink.
There's a ton of marketing and social conditioning around smoking too, but I've never heard a smoker blame RJ Reynolds for picking up the habit again.
There's a ton of marketing and social conditioning around smoking too, but I've never heard a smoker blame RJ Reynolds for picking up the habit again.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
I think that "blaming" anyone ( including ourselves ) is a counter-productive approach when it comes to addiction. The only way out for me was to simply accept that I "AM" and alcoholic. Whether someone made me that way or I was born that way is utterly irrelevant. I am and therefore I must seek ways to accept and live with it - which is very possible.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Manchester, UK
Posts: 1,111
I blamed lots of things and people consciously and secretly blamed myself lots.
Fortunately I learned to take responsibility...and kind of get rid of the blame game entirely...which is the key I think.
Alcoholism made me very ill...was what it was. Quitting drink and getting (accepting) help was the first step out of that.
P
Fortunately I learned to take responsibility...and kind of get rid of the blame game entirely...which is the key I think.
Alcoholism made me very ill...was what it was. Quitting drink and getting (accepting) help was the first step out of that.
P
Just a nerd
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 79
Originally Posted by NewRomanMan 
I'll never blame my alcoholism on marketing or social conditioning. I drank because I like the buzz, period. No one ever pressured me into it or made me feel outcast because I wouldn't drink.
There's a ton of marketing and social conditioning around smoking too, but I've never heard a smoker blame RJ Reynolds for picking up the habit again.
There's a ton of marketing and social conditioning around smoking too, but I've never heard a smoker blame RJ Reynolds for picking up the habit again.
I'm sure lots of people enjoy them at first, but they both made me feel pretty weird until the conditioning / addictive properties wore me down.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,109
The thing is is that a small percentage of people make up a huge portion of alcohol sales. Lots of people drink, but those who become alcoholic drink a disproportionate amount and the companies who profit know this. I worked in retail selling alcohol for years (my own worst alcoholic years, go figure) and it was the same group of people who came in each and every day to purchase alcohol. There were others that I only saw on the weekend, but those who got hooked were in every day, often more than once. It was really sad to see the state of some of them. I literally watched them fade away, they had the saddest eyes.
Best thing I ever did for myself was changing jobs. Oddly enough they contacted me just today to ask if I was ok being separated from the company to which I happily agreed. I haven't worked there in almost 4 years!
Best thing I ever did for myself was changing jobs. Oddly enough they contacted me just today to ask if I was ok being separated from the company to which I happily agreed. I haven't worked there in almost 4 years!
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,981
For many of us (myself included) that deal with mental health issues like anxiety, depression, and social issues, abused alcohol as a seeming miracle cure to self medicate, though this is short lived and before you know it, all of your issues are amplified times a million, and you're caught in the grips of alcoholism.
Though this isn't the case for everyone, most alcoholics don't have other mental health issues, they are just plain alcoholics.
Media advertising had nothing to do with my alcoholism, hell I don't think i've ever even seen an advertisement for the booze I drank. Trying to pass blame is an alcoholic staple, but in the end it does all come down to us. We are the ones that chose to drink on our own, no one forced us to do so.
Though this isn't the case for everyone, most alcoholics don't have other mental health issues, they are just plain alcoholics.
Media advertising had nothing to do with my alcoholism, hell I don't think i've ever even seen an advertisement for the booze I drank. Trying to pass blame is an alcoholic staple, but in the end it does all come down to us. We are the ones that chose to drink on our own, no one forced us to do so.
Just a nerd
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 79
Originally Posted by Forward12
For many of us (myself included) that deal with mental health issues like anxiety, depression, and social issues, abused alcohol as a seeming miracle cure to self medicate, though this is short lived and before you know it, all of your issues are amplified times a million, and you're caught in the grips of alcoholism.
Though this isn't the case for everyone, most alcoholics don't have other mental health issues, they are just plain alcoholics.
Media advertising had nothing to do with my alcoholism, hell I don't think i've ever even seen an advertisement for the booze I drank. Trying to pass blame is an alcoholic staple, but in the end it does all come down to us. We are the ones that chose to drink on our own, no one forced us to do so.
Though this isn't the case for everyone, most alcoholics don't have other mental health issues, they are just plain alcoholics.
Media advertising had nothing to do with my alcoholism, hell I don't think i've ever even seen an advertisement for the booze I drank. Trying to pass blame is an alcoholic staple, but in the end it does all come down to us. We are the ones that chose to drink on our own, no one forced us to do so.
I've never been one to blame heroin addicts though, so maybe I'm overly empathetic. I've also never tried any other drug outside of alcohol, FWIW.
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Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 78
I love this. I'll have to read it again in the morning when I'm not so tired =]
I used alcohol often to cope with depression and anxiety. I developed panic disorder in high school and really bad social anxiety. Alcohol really soothed that for me...but it also didn't. The anxiety and depression was always waiting for me in the morning. I'm 53 days sober now and honestly it feels like sh*t having to actually deal with this stuff that I suppressed for so long...but I'm learning to love myself, anxiety and depression and all. It's part of who I am. I'm sensitive and emotional and overly cautious, and that's all okay (sometimes good!)
Another thing, I think it is quite disturbing how romanticized drinking is in our culture. Ethanol is literally a jet fuel. Who decided we should ingest a little jet fuel for a good time?
I used alcohol often to cope with depression and anxiety. I developed panic disorder in high school and really bad social anxiety. Alcohol really soothed that for me...but it also didn't. The anxiety and depression was always waiting for me in the morning. I'm 53 days sober now and honestly it feels like sh*t having to actually deal with this stuff that I suppressed for so long...but I'm learning to love myself, anxiety and depression and all. It's part of who I am. I'm sensitive and emotional and overly cautious, and that's all okay (sometimes good!)
Another thing, I think it is quite disturbing how romanticized drinking is in our culture. Ethanol is literally a jet fuel. Who decided we should ingest a little jet fuel for a good time?
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