Why do I keep drinking?
 

I'm going to meetings a lot. Part of my problem is that I get bored at home, so I drink. I work 4 10's, so have 3 days off every week. I have a herniated disk and am in too much pain to exercise, and live in a remote area, so no gyms or pools nearby. Yesterday, I went to an 8am meeting, then to church, and immediately after that I went to a noon meeting. What did I do when I left the meeting? Well, hubs had asked for me to pick up food from Applebee's. Guess what they have at Applebee's? A bar. 2 beers and 2 shots later, I headed for home. Oops wait... there's another favorite watering hole kind of on the way home. More beer and shots. Feeling guilty for leaving hubs without food, so headed home. Guess what? When I asked if he wanted to go over to the last bar where I was, he said sure! Several hours and some blackout time later, I woke up feeling guilty and stupid AGAIN.

The advice I've had... go to more meetings. Pray every day to not drink today. Read more big book. Find a women's meeting. Find a sponsor (lots of asking, no volunteers yet).

I want sobriety and I want it badly! The program has darn good people. They care, they help, they have worked hard on their lives and their honesty. I want all that and whatever other good stuff they have!

Must stop drinking. Praying that I make it through today. Sigh. :ugh1:

The meetings is good- perhaps a sponsor?

I don't have a simple answer, but being on an alcoholism forum might give you some idea. You're pouring it into your mouth.

Not being flip, either.

Alcoholism is a habit and a disease and destroys body mind and spirit. It takes one decision to stop the progression, but that decision is yours and no one else's.

I hope you stop drinking. It is pretty simple, though. Don't pick up a drink ever again.

gotta avoid places like bars too if its gonna be an issue. you gotta get out ahead of it before it tricks you into drinking again. Obviously you cant avoid this stuf 100% of the time so sometimes you are gonna be faced with the situation where you just gotta say no. But each time you say no you get stronger and it gets easier.

I kept drinking because I was an alcoholic, I'm guessing that might be the case for you to tigger? Going to AA meetings is good as others have mentioned, but it's really only a small part of what AA is about. Working the steps, getting a sponsor are the real core of the program. What are your thoughts about step 1 particularly?

You could also look at other ways to supplement your AA program - like spending more time here or maybe even seeing if there is an outpatient rehab program available in your area?

If you think you only drink out of boredom then maybe find other ways to entertain yourself. Start a new hobby (knitting, painting, pottery, sewing), do voluntary work on your days off, learn something new (a language maybe?), spend time with your friends... there's always something better to do than to drink :)

That's what got me started--I wanted what they had.

Working the 12 steps is what did it for me. That's what can make all the difference. I had already started the steps by the time I found a sponsor. A sponsor helped clarify things more for me and gave me guidance. I also phoned/talked to people when I was troubled about something or wanting to drink.

Yes Biminiblu - simple. But not easy. Or we wouldn't be here. :headbange

Oh definitely ScottfromWI - I AM AN ALCOHOLIC. If nothing ever convinced me before, Chapter 3 in the BB did. You know the part about promising I'll won't drink today, and then do? And the part about saying; "I'll just have one." and then 10 drinks later... Yup. Hands held high. Those two are common characteristics for me. And Step 1 - YES - I am powerless over alcohol, and my life has become unmanageable. And yes, I just came back here a couple of days ago, but on a different forum. It's a great place to be, and I'm glad to be here.

Need a sponsor! Trusting God that one of these times in a meeting when I say I need one, He'll provide one.

Thanks bunches!

Apparently you know what to do - start doing it.

Tigger...you have to want to quit more than you want to drink. Stay AWAY from other drinkers. If it requires a bit of isolation in the beginning ...so be it. I got SO SICK OF BEING SICK! Maybe you have to get to that point before you can put it down for good. I had a dear friend that almost died due to liver failure. 2 yrs younger than me ...thank GOD a donor came thru. He went thru hell and back. Don't wait too late.

And yet we and others make it happen every single day.

It's your choice. What is it going to take? If you cannot do it yourself, how about an outpatient program or a church program or therapy? If you really want to stop drinking you have to stop drinking.

Part of the disease is insanity. We know full right we'll nothing even remotely good can come out of drinking yet we do it anyway. We need to retrain our brains.

"The advice I've had... go to more meetings. Pray every day to not drink today. Read more big book. Find a women's meeting. Find a sponsor (lots of asking, no volunteers yet). "

so, you've been doing that and good on ya for that!
now, lets look at something you probably hear at the meetings:
if you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any lengths to get it, then you are ready to take certain steps.


willing to go to any lengths.
have you gotten phone numbers from other women in the fellowship? if not, then please get some.
if you do have numbers, they don't work for crap unless used-calling before drinking. the phone is much lighter than a bottle and much better solutions.

certain steps, as in the 12 steps. I saw your thread over in the christains in recovery forum, so ya believe in a God. but that God isn't going to come down and keep you from drinking. faith without works is dead.

tigger, getting sober isn't easy. personally it was the hardest thing I have ever done- even harder than fighting cancer. the mental obsession was a bear. I had strong cravings for some time and the compulsion to drink was at every turn.I had many days that one day at a time was too long and I had to take it down to one second at a time.
but I continued going to meetings, praying, working the steps, reading the big book, repeat.
and the 10th step promises happened:
And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone - even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality - safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is our experience. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition.

staying sober has been easy and well worth every second of fight.

are you asking any of the women at the meetings to sponsor you?
plus, ya gotta want one. you,like me, prolly needed to stop drinkin and get a sponsor years ago.

Not to be glib but you have to want to quit drinking more than you want to drink.

If you're honest, which one is it?

If you truly want to quit, Do not pick up the first drink. Period.

And you may need help in getting sober.

Best wishes.

Your fact pattern is certainly similar to drinking misadventures on my part.

I'm glad you're going to meetings and seeking a sponsor.

Working the steps, which we learn to do through a sponsor, is critical to my continued sobriety.

I'll pray that the Lord provides you with a sponsor quickly.

May you work toward that end with Him.

Solid post at 11:58, tomsteve.