Drinking is hurting me physically and mentally
 

I have a full time job, I work hard, I've been married almost 30 years and I have 2 diseases, autoimmune and apparently I'm an alcoholic. I didn't drink when I raised my 2 kids, never even thought about it. When they grew up and left the house I began drinking wine on the weekends, then at nights, every night. Then I started drinking and couldn't stop until I passed out. One episode led me to the hospital because I was choking on water and my husband took me to the emergency room. That was not my rock bottom. Just a few days ago I drank (with my husband) and then took sleeping pills and I got up in the middle of the night to use the restroom and I actually fell on the toilet and injured my back, where I have had a back fusion. I'm too embarrassed to tell anyone what happened and afraid I have ruined my back fusion because I'm in pain. Some of those nights I passed out I didn't want to wake up.

I joined this forum in 2009 because I have a sibling who is an alcoholic.

The only thing that is keeping me from drinking is my husband :(

Lots of support here at SR for you Repeat1234.
Best wishes :grouphug:

Repeat - thanks for the brave share. I think you NEED to see a doctor about your back. Avoiding this will not do you any good. What can you do about the drinking/ A sobriety plan? Meetings? Journaling, therapy, counselling? Taking meds and drinking is unsafe. You have to stop drinking for you - not your hubby. There is lots of info in the stickies- here at SR on plans. Will power did not help me without support. Perhaps look at the other newcomer's threads- women's, 24, monthly - there are lots.
Keep posting and sharing. Support and empathy to you. PJ

Hi repeat :)

Please do go and see your doctor to make sure things are ok. It's worth the embarrassment, surely?

I remember you had to go to the ER another time not too long ago.

Maybe it's time to get some outside help for your drinking?

D