Sharing at Meetings
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 25
Sharing at Meetings
Hey all, I've been sober and going to AA meetings for a little over a year.
While sharing has gotten easier, I still find I have major anxiety with it. I tend to just go completely blank and start stuttering and laughing. It's bad.
I feel like since I'm not really new anymore I should be able to say something encouraging to the newcomers and have more to offer. It makes me feel really bad about myself, like I haven't grown enough.
Any advice? I've tried planning what I'm going to say, not planning, praying beforehand..
While sharing has gotten easier, I still find I have major anxiety with it. I tend to just go completely blank and start stuttering and laughing. It's bad.
I feel like since I'm not really new anymore I should be able to say something encouraging to the newcomers and have more to offer. It makes me feel really bad about myself, like I haven't grown enough.
Any advice? I've tried planning what I'm going to say, not planning, praying beforehand..
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Manchester, UK
Posts: 1,111
Honestly...it is about letting go of what other people think. Far far easier said than done.
My friends told me anxiety is a sign I am "sharing for effect" rather than sharing honestly from the heart...that works for me.
But take it easy...being anxious is very normal and very human
P
My friends told me anxiety is a sign I am "sharing for effect" rather than sharing honestly from the heart...that works for me.
But take it easy...being anxious is very normal and very human
P
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,647
I practice stuff but never end up sharing my wise words. Breathing to relax. I just try to focus on the moment and talk about what ever comes to mind- often based on previous people's shares. I try not to tell a 'I did this or I should have done that'. Usually the words get easier after a little while.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,236
It took me along time to actually share on
a topic. Until I did, I offered to read something
at the beginning of the meeting, especially How
It Works, mainly because it gave me time to
read it, settle down in my chair, focus on each
word I read, reading it with meaning and heart
felt feelings. Each time I read my confidence
was boosted.
Even if that was all the words I spoke in
many meetings, that in itself was huge.
My sponsor use to tell me that there had
to have those in meetings to speak and they
had to have those to listen. I was basically
a listener for a long time.
In time she told me I would know when
it was time to speak and sure enough it
did happen. Nervous, yes, I was, yet words
poured out of me and if you asked me later
what I said, I have to tell you that I didn't
remember.
That was explained to me was that I
spoke from the heart. Okay, ill take that.
Any little thing I did at my meetings
was important and thought of it as
service work. Even if it was bringing
food to go along with the coffee or
walking around to gather empty coffee
cups, reading before the meeting, handing
out chips, chairing the meeting, starting
the group off with the Lord's Prayer at
the end.
Suiting up and showing up sober by incorporating
the AA program of recovery in all areas of my life
and strengthened me from the inside out to overcome
many obstacles that parallysed me while sick in my
alcohol addiction.
Remember progress and not perfection
in all we do. Move forward to becoming
the best, healthiest, honest person you
possibly can be with each day sober that
passes you by.
a topic. Until I did, I offered to read something
at the beginning of the meeting, especially How
It Works, mainly because it gave me time to
read it, settle down in my chair, focus on each
word I read, reading it with meaning and heart
felt feelings. Each time I read my confidence
was boosted.
Even if that was all the words I spoke in
many meetings, that in itself was huge.
My sponsor use to tell me that there had
to have those in meetings to speak and they
had to have those to listen. I was basically
a listener for a long time.
In time she told me I would know when
it was time to speak and sure enough it
did happen. Nervous, yes, I was, yet words
poured out of me and if you asked me later
what I said, I have to tell you that I didn't
remember.
That was explained to me was that I
spoke from the heart. Okay, ill take that.
Any little thing I did at my meetings
was important and thought of it as
service work. Even if it was bringing
food to go along with the coffee or
walking around to gather empty coffee
cups, reading before the meeting, handing
out chips, chairing the meeting, starting
the group off with the Lord's Prayer at
the end.
Suiting up and showing up sober by incorporating
the AA program of recovery in all areas of my life
and strengthened me from the inside out to overcome
many obstacles that parallysed me while sick in my
alcohol addiction.
Remember progress and not perfection
in all we do. Move forward to becoming
the best, healthiest, honest person you
possibly can be with each day sober that
passes you by.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
maybe its just nerves. I always have this epic thing i wanna say but when it comes time to deliver it comes out all wrong is nothing exciting and i end up not really saying what i meant to say and sometimes wondering if i just insulted someone too.
I havent mastered this yet. but i know with other simlier stuff it seems like if i slow down and focus i fair a little better.
I havent mastered this yet. but i know with other simlier stuff it seems like if i slow down and focus i fair a little better.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
IMO and IME, there's not a timetable for any part of AA. Example- I am about to do steps 7 and 8, formally, with my sponsor.... and I am 387 days sober. I have "kept moving"/not stagnating in all ways and this pace works for me. Same with sharing in meetings- I am a very outgoing person in general but have learned about a deep private side in my sobriety; it took me awhile to share, and sometimes when I feel "pressure" to .... it's best to stay silent. Sometimes, just listening- being present- is the service I am giving to someone else.
You've done a great job being sober this long and being a member of AA by your presence, at minimum. Keep going and let things evolve have been two of the things that have led me toward more frequent and meaningul (for me and I'm often told, others) contributions.
You've done a great job being sober this long and being a member of AA by your presence, at minimum. Keep going and let things evolve have been two of the things that have led me toward more frequent and meaningul (for me and I'm often told, others) contributions.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
good on ya for a year and wanting to help the newcomer!
1st a question- have ya worked the steps?
now, toss out the arse kikin machine. everyone I know has experienced the same thing.
how do I share? welp, when im tryin to get an effect, I get all jacked up and start rambling on and it sounds like mumbojumbo comin out.
when I let my HP speak through me- before im even at the meeting I ask to help me help someone-the feelin is different. theres complete honesty that way.
1st a question- have ya worked the steps?
now, toss out the arse kikin machine. everyone I know has experienced the same thing.
how do I share? welp, when im tryin to get an effect, I get all jacked up and start rambling on and it sounds like mumbojumbo comin out.
when I let my HP speak through me- before im even at the meeting I ask to help me help someone-the feelin is different. theres complete honesty that way.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,095
I have been going to 5 to 7 AA meeting per week for about 10 weeks.
I never pass when it is my turn and always say something even if I don't feel like it.
After the first few weeks of mindlessly babbling something I started bringing paper and pen to jot down things that come to mind - but that doesn't always work either.
Lately I have been trying to say something profound about recovery or the AA program instead of the "oh woe is me,I was a drunk"stories. But that too doesn't always work out.
Naturally hours and sometimes days after a meeting I go over in my head what I said and what I should have said - I know this is foolish but I can't help it.
I need to remember that I forget 99% of what everyone else said so many people really don't remember what I said.
I need to remember the ultimate goal is to try and say something that will help someone else and not worry that I "put on a good show" or "I looked cool or smart". Gotta let that ego go.
I never pass when it is my turn and always say something even if I don't feel like it.
After the first few weeks of mindlessly babbling something I started bringing paper and pen to jot down things that come to mind - but that doesn't always work either.
Lately I have been trying to say something profound about recovery or the AA program instead of the "oh woe is me,I was a drunk"stories. But that too doesn't always work out.
Naturally hours and sometimes days after a meeting I go over in my head what I said and what I should have said - I know this is foolish but I can't help it.
I need to remember that I forget 99% of what everyone else said so many people really don't remember what I said.
I need to remember the ultimate goal is to try and say something that will help someone else and not worry that I "put on a good show" or "I looked cool or smart". Gotta let that ego go.
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