Stressed
 

My car broke down and is not worth the money to bother fixing it.... I can't afford a new one so now I have to go deeper into debt.... trying to do my taxes so get some money together to pay for said car. My T4 says that I only paid $469.70 in income taxes which is crazy low so I've called HR and they are telling me that it is correct! They did not deduct the correct amount off me all year..... so instead of getting any kind of return I am going to owe. A lot. I am beside myself..... it is all going wrong. I just booked a trip to Cuba last week before all this crap..... a trip that I should not be going on if I'm going to owe for a car and taxes! Everything is going wrong and I can't even drink about it! The kids are home for March break and they are constantly bickering and I feel like a referee.... they are frankly really getting under my skin while I'm trying to deal with all this. FML today.

My emotions already feel really raw and now I feel like I just got kicked right in the gut.

Deep breaths
This too shall pass....I promise.
No one is dying on the operating table, nothing is fatal. Just breathe. Do something nice for yourself today. A fancy coffee from starbucks, a bubble bath, an ice cream, an hour of Netflix.
Life throws us curve balls sometimes but you'll get through this

Okay, breathe. What can you control? What can't you? Can you get money back on the Cuba trip?
We have a $10,000 credit line that I use for emergency cash. You have to pay it back. It's deducted from our checking account. Payments are small. Can you get something like that?
Stuff happens. Often all at once. We make plans and God laughs,
All will be well in time.

oh man thats soo true.

we seem to think we know what we are doing next tuesday and so on and Gods like ORLY? lol. I have learned i honestly have no idea wtf i'm doing next tuesday. and it angers somet oo when they ask what i'm doing tommorrow or soemthing like that and i'm liek I have absoltuly no idea and they are like wtf? i'm like no seriously I couldnt tell you with any degree of certainty i could be here i could get hit by a bus heck if i know.

Zenchaser I guess keep in mind this kinda crap is thankfully transient good times comea nd good times go and bad times come and band times go. So thankfully as time goes on it will work is way out somehow and you wont be stuck in this mess forever feeling how you do now. So there is at least that much you can count on. I read in that book awareness by anthony de mello one thing we can always count on is life. Yep you cant count on ANYONE probably cant even count on yourself but you can always count on life being exactly what it is. and sometimes its crap too *sigh*.

and for a funny quote "at least life still wants to f me " :) ok smile!

I had a good cry and I feel a bit better, certainly more rational. I guess I could just pay to get my crappy car fixed.... it's a big bill but less than a new car. Nothing to be done about the taxes.... however I could hold off on filing them for a bit, at least until I get back from Cuba. I can't cancel the trip because I didn't pay for cancellation insurance. It is what it is. Life ain't fair, so there. Not going to drink about it that's for sure. It will be ok.... I just didn't see it coming.... especially about the taxes.

sounds like your looking at it one step at a time rather then the OH CRAP freak storm of everyting all at once thats a good first step at calming down. is what is kinda thing.

paying to get it fixed is always an option. been there had to sink money into worthless cars cause i had no other choice but to keep the thing going till my circumstances changed. At teh same time gotta becareful you dont end up in a total loosing game.

I also sometimes gotta do something crazy to get my financial house back in order so sometimes it helps if you can think outside of the box maybe maybe theres another option out there I dunno.

So I just called the mechanic and told him to go ahead and fix the crappy car..... whatever it beats paying for a new one. As far as the taxes go I will call HR back tomorrow and see if I can get someone with better people skills on the phone so I can discuss if they would be willing to help me with a payment plan or something? At the very least get to the bottom of why this happened. I had it in my head that I would be able to use my tax return which is usually a substantial chunk of money to use towards a new car.... threw me for loop a to learn how wrong I was! I've calmed down and accepted that things didn't go my way today. I just got very overwhelmed thinking that I had to find a way to come up with 10 grand to pay for both! Crying helped hahaha!

Just got off the phone with my bf and his contribution to these problems was reminding me of some other things that are expensive and need to get dealt with..... I'm thinking like how out of touch is he? Is he flipping kidding me? What would of been nice would be for him to shoulder some of these responsibilities instead of reminding me about all the other problems that I'm not in a position to fix right now...... Serenity now! Insanity later.....

I know he means well but it just wasn't what I wanted him to say. Oh well, maybe I have issues with not being able to control everything and having things go exactly how I want them to go.

Oh God, life can be really tough. I had a great sponsor who talked me off the ledge so many times and now I do that for others. Anyone you can talk to? It really helps!

Sorry you're having to deal with this trough in life's sea, but the next wave will rise you up and hopefully, the next sea will be clam and smooth. Things are ever changing and evolving and sometimes, when we reflect back, we remember our despair and can smile NOW because that despair has passed and dissipated.

I do think your boyfriend could've been a little more sympathetic. I don't know how established your relationship is, but maybe he could share a little of the expense, if your relationship is solid or going to solidify in the future? Or perhaps you're too independant to accept help? In any event, I'm sending a huge hug your way :grouphug:.

I'm feeling much better today. The whole tax thing just blind sided me! I went through all my paystubs today still hoping that this could all just be a big misunderstanding or mistake, but nope, it's true. There are several pay periods where they took zero tax off me..... I still don't understand how it happened.... how can they take no tax some weeks? And how can I have not noticed for an entire year? I wasn't drunk the entire time!! I just assumed that my company knew what they were doing and were doing it correctly like every other year I've worked for them. They are trying to say that I must have filled out a new tax form, but I don't remember filling anything out, and why would I just randomly change how I want to get taxed? It makes no sense. Anyways, fair or not I'm on the hook for it.

At least I didn't drink over it! The old me would have. Instead of allowing myself to feel the disappointment and frustration I would have used it as an excuse to get drunk.

NYC no I don't have any friends in recovery.... yet. I'm working on it! But I called my mom and cried to her and I talked to my best friend. No one could do anything to solve the problem but at least they listened to me.

Tatsy my bf is a great guy and we've been together for years but he's quite a bit younger than me so when it comes to things like this he usually doesn't know where to begin. He's lived a very sheltered life, with very little adversity, which is one of the things I like about him. He's kind and easy going and steady. Sometimes I do wish though that he was a little more take charge/action. But he's a Prince compared to some of the frogs I've kissed! lol