Drinking on check day, planning and thinking of it
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 49
Drinking on check day, planning and thinking of it
Without too many details of my past, I'm middle 30s, for +10 years I drank a lot of 100proof rum and strong beer when I'd have money. I was a binger type, spending a few days at a time drinking between work, or if I wasn't working, more or less drinking while awake, until passing out, repeating til the moneys gone.
I quit a few times for months, +1year, type thing. And when I wasn't working much I'd just drink for 2-3 days when I'd get a check.
Now I'm dirt poor again, which is good for now since I'd drink too much.
However now it becomes 2 weeks of no booze, but spending all that time waiting to get loaded for 1-2 days.
I'm trying to talk myself into only drinking for 1 night. And I could spend the money on stuff online, and be broke again and not worry about it.
However, getting drunk just once and passing out, and then waking up with nothing left........seems like not enough drunk time to have fun walking around, and later playing video games/watching movies.
I have no friends or social life, and that drunk time is like a happy escape/holiday from boredom and some amount of loneliness.
But I don't want to waste 2 days drinking, or the money, or the calories, or have the hangover, and mess up my workout routine.
But again, just 1 drinking session is not long enough in my mind. I drank 3-5days/week last summer (or more), a bit less this fall, and not much this winter. If I have the money tho, I'd often drink for +1 week, then dry out a few days, and start again.
So its like trying to drink for 1 night, vs that madness, even tho I hate it, I can't have enough fun in 1 night.
I quit a few times for months, +1year, type thing. And when I wasn't working much I'd just drink for 2-3 days when I'd get a check.
Now I'm dirt poor again, which is good for now since I'd drink too much.
However now it becomes 2 weeks of no booze, but spending all that time waiting to get loaded for 1-2 days.
I'm trying to talk myself into only drinking for 1 night. And I could spend the money on stuff online, and be broke again and not worry about it.
However, getting drunk just once and passing out, and then waking up with nothing left........seems like not enough drunk time to have fun walking around, and later playing video games/watching movies.
I have no friends or social life, and that drunk time is like a happy escape/holiday from boredom and some amount of loneliness.
But I don't want to waste 2 days drinking, or the money, or the calories, or have the hangover, and mess up my workout routine.
But again, just 1 drinking session is not long enough in my mind. I drank 3-5days/week last summer (or more), a bit less this fall, and not much this winter. If I have the money tho, I'd often drink for +1 week, then dry out a few days, and start again.
So its like trying to drink for 1 night, vs that madness, even tho I hate it, I can't have enough fun in 1 night.
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Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,657
Drinking is not fun. It is a self crated deluded hell. The only way out is to stop, work out a plan, get professional support, seek structure and informed change and do something DIFFERENT.
sUPPORT TO YOU. perhaps JOIN THE mARCH THREAD. kEEP POSTING. pj
sUPPORT TO YOU. perhaps JOIN THE mARCH THREAD. kEEP POSTING. pj
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 49
I don't even play video games much sober, but when drinking, I do.
I'm really broke. So theoretically I could spend all my $ 70 spending cash right away on useful stuff I want on ebay.
I am planning to spend $30 on ebay, but I can't be trusted with that other $40 sitting around. So I already planned for rum and weed for 2 days.
I'd still want $30 for 1 night. But to try and NOT spend any on this plan.....IDK, I'm not there yet.
I'm really broke. So theoretically I could spend all my $ 70 spending cash right away on useful stuff I want on ebay.
I am planning to spend $30 on ebay, but I can't be trusted with that other $40 sitting around. So I already planned for rum and weed for 2 days.
I'd still want $30 for 1 night. But to try and NOT spend any on this plan.....IDK, I'm not there yet.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
Hi WW2gamer
If addiction is a Tiger what you're trying to do is not let it bite you too much.
There's nothing more futile than that.
It presupposes you ghave some control over your addcition, and the fact you're not a daily drinking drinking out of a paper bag under a brindge probaby reinforces that control misconception.
The fact is there's a lot of binge drinkers here and everyone of them will share their stoiry of being addicted and things getting worse the longer you keep drinking.
The smart money is on quitting for good - the transition process is not fun, and not particularly pleasant, but it gets better...
and it's not a living hell being sober 24/7 by any means.
I'm the happiest I've been my whole adult life now
You'll look back and thank yourself for pulling the plug when you did.
D
If addiction is a Tiger what you're trying to do is not let it bite you too much.
There's nothing more futile than that.
It presupposes you ghave some control over your addcition, and the fact you're not a daily drinking drinking out of a paper bag under a brindge probaby reinforces that control misconception.
The fact is there's a lot of binge drinkers here and everyone of them will share their stoiry of being addicted and things getting worse the longer you keep drinking.
The smart money is on quitting for good - the transition process is not fun, and not particularly pleasant, but it gets better...
and it's not a living hell being sober 24/7 by any means.
I'm the happiest I've been my whole adult life now
You'll look back and thank yourself for pulling the plug when you did.
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
I'm trying to talk myself into only drinking for 1 night.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,095
Originally Posted by WW2gamer 
Without too many details of my past, I'm middle 30s, for +10 years I drank a lot of 100proof rum and strong beer when I'd have money. I was a binger type, spending a few days at a time drinking between work, or if I wasn't working, more or less drinking while awake, until passing out, repeating til the moneys gone.
I quit a few times for months, +1year, type thing. And when I wasn't working much I'd just drink for 2-3 days when I'd get a check.
Now I'm dirt poor again, which is good for now since I'd drink too much.
However now it becomes 2 weeks of no booze, but spending all that time waiting to get loaded for 1-2 days.
I'm trying to talk myself into only drinking for 1 night. And I could spend the money on stuff online, and be broke again and not worry about it.
However, getting drunk just once and passing out, and then waking up with nothing left........seems like not enough drunk time to have fun walking around, and later playing video games/watching movies.
I have no friends or social life, and that drunk time is like a happy escape/holiday from boredom and some amount of loneliness.
But I don't want to waste 2 days drinking, or the money, or the calories, or have the hangover, and mess up my workout routine.
But again, just 1 drinking session is not long enough in my mind. I drank 3-5days/week last summer (or more), a bit less this fall, and not much this winter. If I have the money tho, I'd often drink for +1 week, then dry out a few days, and start again.
So its like trying to drink for 1 night, vs that madness, even tho I hate it, I can't have enough fun in 1 night.
I quit a few times for months, +1year, type thing. And when I wasn't working much I'd just drink for 2-3 days when I'd get a check.
Now I'm dirt poor again, which is good for now since I'd drink too much.
However now it becomes 2 weeks of no booze, but spending all that time waiting to get loaded for 1-2 days.
I'm trying to talk myself into only drinking for 1 night. And I could spend the money on stuff online, and be broke again and not worry about it.
However, getting drunk just once and passing out, and then waking up with nothing left........seems like not enough drunk time to have fun walking around, and later playing video games/watching movies.
I have no friends or social life, and that drunk time is like a happy escape/holiday from boredom and some amount of loneliness.
But I don't want to waste 2 days drinking, or the money, or the calories, or have the hangover, and mess up my workout routine.
But again, just 1 drinking session is not long enough in my mind. I drank 3-5days/week last summer (or more), a bit less this fall, and not much this winter. If I have the money tho, I'd often drink for +1 week, then dry out a few days, and start again.
So its like trying to drink for 1 night, vs that madness, even tho I hate it, I can't have enough fun in 1 night.
I know because my life centered around drinking - everyday for 27 years.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 67
Hey man. Since 2005 or so I have got drunk and played video games online. First person shooter war games. At the time it was the greatest thing ever in my life. I liked the person I was.
As the years went by I developed high blood pressure and was just a little sick all the time, not with the flu but hanger stuff. But I kept gaming and its all I wanted and I got that.
After all these nights of playing which go into the thousands of hours spread out over the years and 5 or so different games I began to not like myself much. Most people got irritated with me online right away but some liked the drunk idiot. It was these people I continued on seemingly to entertain strangers on the net.
I quit drinking and guess what? I quit online gaming. I play single player now because I don't want to deal with all the hackers and idiotic things that go on in these games with voice chat. Can you believe that? The king of idiocy - myself - is now bothered by others doing what I used to do.
The sober me has no desire to play online games anymore. The sober me is disgusted with all the lost time I gave to games.
You're life will change a bit when you get sober and all of the changes are good. You may not realize it at first but they will. Sobriety gives you rewards of good things and drunkenness also rewards you but with unwanted issues that nobody would actually desire. And that good time that you think you are having while gaming is unattainable like a mirage. You'll burn out chasing something that doesn't even exist.
As the years went by I developed high blood pressure and was just a little sick all the time, not with the flu but hanger stuff. But I kept gaming and its all I wanted and I got that.
After all these nights of playing which go into the thousands of hours spread out over the years and 5 or so different games I began to not like myself much. Most people got irritated with me online right away but some liked the drunk idiot. It was these people I continued on seemingly to entertain strangers on the net.
I quit drinking and guess what? I quit online gaming. I play single player now because I don't want to deal with all the hackers and idiotic things that go on in these games with voice chat. Can you believe that? The king of idiocy - myself - is now bothered by others doing what I used to do.
The sober me has no desire to play online games anymore. The sober me is disgusted with all the lost time I gave to games.
You're life will change a bit when you get sober and all of the changes are good. You may not realize it at first but they will. Sobriety gives you rewards of good things and drunkenness also rewards you but with unwanted issues that nobody would actually desire. And that good time that you think you are having while gaming is unattainable like a mirage. You'll burn out chasing something that doesn't even exist.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 49
I'm still hoping to find happiness in the bottle. I've been looking forward to it for 2 weeks, even dreaming about it which is strange for me.
If I don't "party" Thursday, and spend the money, I feel I'd have nothing to look forward to, except my boring sad life
If I don't "party" Thursday, and spend the money, I feel I'd have nothing to look forward to, except my boring sad life
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,095
Originally Posted by WW2gamer
I'm still hoping to find happiness in the bottle. I've been looking forward to it for 2 weeks, even dreaming about it which is strange for me.
If I don't "party" Thursday, and spend the money, I feel I'd have nothing to look forward to, except my boring sad life
If I don't "party" Thursday, and spend the money, I feel I'd have nothing to look forward to, except my boring sad life
Well do what you want. Believe me, their is no happiness in the bottle. It may provide temporary relief but it is a dead end. It took me 27 years of drinking everyday to finally get it.
Being sad and bored is better than being sad, bored and drunk.
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