now i'm getting why people caution on no major decisions in the first year....
 

So I got a puppy for my 1 year anniversary. I really love her. So does my wife and daughter. She's a black pit named Maggie and is 12 weeks old.
We adopted her last sunday.

This week has been tough. She is a hell of a handful. I've had pits and rotties in the past, but none so young. My training skills are rusty to say the least.

I'm telling you all...this was a huge thing for me. I'm really stressed out. Not in a bad way. I just wanna do this right..you know? So, i'm back to the insomnia even though Maggie sleeps straight through the night so far.
Why? Anxiety.

My neighbor and i have become good friends because we both suffer from anxiety and our kids have been friends all their lives..She took one look at me on thursday and told me...maybe you need to go back on anti-anxiety meds. I know i'm a bit amped up but I thought i was being more ...i dunno...vigiliant than nervous...but then again...it is 3:44am here.

i dunno...maybe i just need to relax..or surrender some illusion of control i think i have over the situation...i don't know...maybe she's right.

I do know now why AA says no major decisions in the first year. even though i'm just barely a year..i don't think i could have done this even 6 months ago. ok that's enough out of me...i'm gonna go panic for awhile. :lmao::lmao:

Puppies can be a handful - but it's ok to share the load around too? :)
Hope it gets easier from here BD :)

D

The AA program does not say "no major decisions in the first year" It is a treatment centre construct, with a certain amount of wisdom based in the idea that if you do nothing major, you won't make any major mistakes. Then again, no mistakes equals no growth, no learning, no pain no gain. Making the mistakes in the second year wont make them any less painful.

Best of luck with the new pup! Yep, they can be a handful for sure:)

Puppies can be very difficult. Big responsibility.

Funny how at 3 weeks sober the thought of marrying that girl with the 7 kids and moving down to run the cattle farm with her often seems pretty manageable :)

P

Might not just be the puppy, though that is the most "obvious" change in your life. One year is a huge milestone. For some it's like, "okay, will I do this forever now?" others it is wow, made it a year and then "thoughts" start creeping in. With all the energy you put towards making that one year mark and then made, it's like, "ok, what's left now"............then its anxiety. Not saying the puppy is not a handful and stressful as we have 3 dogs of differing variety. A year is a huge accomplishment. Congratulations. Create some goals and enjoy a sober life.

Been there. I've had dogs all my life, many of them puppies. I've volunteered at the shelter, worked in a vet office, even taught training classes. I knew dogs, right?

Then came Mr. G...adorable puppy from hell. He had separation anxiety, could not be crated, would not be housetrained, never slept, and screamed bloody murder whenever I disappeared from view. I also had three other dogs, two of which had serious health and dementia problems. I found myself googling "my puppy is an *******" in the middle of the night.

After three months of no sleep and never even sitting down for five minutes, I had lost seven pounds, had troughs under my eyes, and tended to jump and burst into tears at loud noises. I then contracted shingles that put me in the ER on morphine.

Good times.

So I really, really get it. Some puppies are just insanely high maintenance. The good news is that he has turned out to be a wonderful dog and we all survived.

But I feel your pain, I really really do.

Sending you a hug.

I could be mistaken, but what I read there,bulldog, if fear- fear of failure/making a mistake. maybe some pride,too.
what makes me think that is one little thing ya said:
"I just wanna do this right."
ya know, sometimes making mistakes is part of doing it right.
making mistakes is part of learning what works and what doesn't.

also
" surrender some illusion of control i think i have over the situation."
is it control or expectations? maybe yer expecting the new puppy to be like your past dogs?
puppies are like children- its their job to teach us how to teach them.

continued to take personal inventory.........

so many amazing thoughts were posted here. I want to respond to everyone that took the time out of their day to be kind enough to offer some help and words of encouragment but I have to tend to some family obligations today. I'll write back in the evening. thanks again for everyone who posted. A lot of great great posts.
Have a nice day!

Puppies are a handful, no question. And pitties have a lot of energy. Maybe some agility training?
Jon Katz is an author who has written a lot about the dogs in his life. He is into border collies, and some of them have been a real challenge. But he writes with love and humor. Maybe check out some of his stuff. Good luck. Woof.

I was really hoping for baby pictures.

She will be worth the work!

On the plus side, even at their worst, puppies are the best.

http://gifrific.com/wp-content/uploa...rbucks-cup.gif

Breath, count to ten, and remember puppy cuteness when your about to strangle him.

* you're http://www.sherv.net/cm/emoticons/ha...y-emoticon.gif

We're not grammar nazis here. :) You made me smile, though.

ya forgotted ta start youre sentence with a capitol. :)

Me too. With all the St. Paddy's day parades going on this reminded me of a friend who had a shirt that said "Drink Till Your Irish".

Oh my god, puppies are wonderful but very stressful. I've had two in recovery and both times questioned my judgement. But the rewards are incredible and they grow up into couch potatoes too fast. Enjoy!!

I have learned that making decisions during recovery can backfire.

My last drink was 138 days ago. 136 days ago I went on an extended leave from work due to depression, anxiety, and panic. As the months went on I started to feel better and went back to work about 5 weeks ago after being off over 3 months.

I only lasted 6 hours that first day back and the next day I didn't even go to work - it was all too much for me and I slipped back into depression. I don't know if being back there reminded me of the dark depressing days I spent at work hungover and/or half drunk but I couldn't go back. I ended up quitting my job - and now I have no money coming in.

Now, 5 weeks after quitting I am feeling better and I regret quitting...I am sure if I would have took more time to recover I could have coped better at work.

I am looking for a new job - I may have to beg for my old job back but I said some things when I quit that I probably shouldn't have - another hasty decision I didn't think through.

My wife has been incredibly reassuring and very helpful. She's my rock. I'm very fortunate to have help.

thank you!

right? :)

Awesome post, and a lot to consider, thanks.

THANK YOU FOR THIS POST. I REALLY NEEDED TO HEAR THAT. :You_Rock_

Very true about making mistakes is a part of learning. I tend tyo be very critical of my decisions. I appreciate that. thank you.
Puppies are like children-it's their job to teach us how to treat them. very wise words.

I'll definitely check it out. I've been using Zak George's training method so far. It takes a lot of repetition, but it does work very well.

hahahaha...one can only pray.

You're going to be okay. Try not to worry so much about doing everything "right"...most of that pack theory has been completely discredited in dog training, so don't sweat that alpha stuff.

I wouldn't worry about her manners right now as much as getting her around kids, babies, and other friendly dogs as much as you possibly can. The socialization window does close. Puppy class is great that way.

The rest you can catch up on when her brains arrive. If she's like Mr. G, that will be in about 24 months. :scared:

Sending you a hug.