Incontrol15

You nailed it! It's a self preservation tactic.

I see many people post about keeping the alcoholism private. As much as I respect and appreciate it, I've had nothing short of awesome results when I proclaim my drinking problem.

It's sooo common any more. Out of the dozens of times I said it, I got a strange look maybe 2 times. Most of the time, conversation continues without a beat.

I think a lot of it has to do with how I say it with pride and confidence. "no thanks. I've been sober for X days and I'm super proud of that." normally, I get positive reinforcement. I've had a couple folks who wanted more info and I gave them what they wanted.

I'll tell ya something...
Its so liberating to say it too. It was a HUGE turning point for me after the first time I said it. Pretty much crushed my AV. Yeah, it pops up once in a while. But I'm good for days normally after saying it.

Rock on. You got this.

Dee74

I'm guessing this is a parade you want to participate in, so no point in me suggesting waiting til next year

In any case you don't need luck zjw - just follow that one shot forward and what it really means to you, and people like us.

Commit now - completely - to not drinking this weekend. No.matter. what.

Run your mind over a few likely scenarios and how you might get though them sober.

Take a thermos of soup or something

D

zjw

it went well and i didnt drink! i mean there was so much booze at the one today too my god. they where handing out free jello shots and whiskey shots to the band every 20 feet it seemed like and ya know no one oddly offered me one directly? of course i coulda taken one if i wanted too. there was even a party bus behind us tht we got in to warm up a bit and played a few tunes for them they had a blast listening to us offered us drinks nope nope i said.

the stories i could tell of the day it was dare i say fun and i left today thinking my god i can go to something like that and NOT drink and have fun? Who NEW?!?!

I didnt even really twitch about.

now yest at a parade the guy in the band in front of me suggested i put whiskey on my lips to warm them up to help me play more. and ya know for a split second i thought is that like if i dont swallow its ok..... the AV was like oh yes of course kinda like bill clinton didnt inhale its ok.. i'm ilke DOH NO NOT OK! lol.

Ariesagain

Wholesome

Well done!! I'm so happy for you that you had fun! What a wonderful experience

biminiblue

hahaha I laughed at the Clinton thing. He was the one who said (as I watched in disbelief on TV) during his testimony regarding Lewinski, "That depends on what the meaning of IS is."

Don't ever change, Bill.

Z, so happy for you for making it through. You're a rock-star!

Dee74

great stuff ZJW

D

August252015

If it were me, I would not go. I am adamantly in the camp of "no occasion is mandatory" - and I mean NONE. No wedding, no family reunion, no birthday....no parade. Nothing is worth my sobriety and if I felt the way that you repeatedly describe....I wouldn't put myself in a situation where I was at risk. I am 385 days sober and just last weekend- JUST LAST WKD- went to a birthday party where there was lots of alcohol. And I have felt secure in my sobriety for awhile now- I just don't do things or go places that might disturb my emotional sobriety let alone my physical. My bf and i even had an understanding that we'd leave right away if I got restless, irritable, discontent or squirrelly all of a sudden.

Good luck.

zjw

I totally agree but this situation was a tough one. I wanted to go and felt as if I had too as the band has been workign with me for a year now and this is part of the program. I mean I had an inkling it might be like this come parade time but I had no idea it would be this severe. I new some members played at bars after and was concerned about that when i started all of this but i had no idea the booze would be flowing quite like this etc..

its why i posted up here to begin with that and my AV was really working over time about those whiskey shots (i dont even like whiskey!) but incontrol had some good points that really sunk in I think that helped. I started to realize 1 shot would **** me off. and well now that i think about it I coulda had plenty i suppose (In hindsite) but when i originally posted I didnt realize that and I guess i could have lowered my guard yest and indulged but i was also thinking i had my daughter to look out for she was cold we also had a long drive home etc.. wtf good would i be if i was half drunk or worse ?

Other events all these sober years i've just not bothered with was like nope dont wanna be around it temptation or not just dont even wanna be in the situation but this was tough one it seemed not so simple to just back out. And I know it is that simple tho it really is. I suppose i coulda jut backed out ticked of a number of people and that would be a better choice then drinking. It was a tough one.

I got more parades all month long now this one was the one that really had me concerned. I feel like since i got through these 2 this weekend I'll be ok now.

It was crazy i even saw a full beer on the side of the road Unopened on my way back to my car and my AV was like hrmm... I was like OMFG NOOO and kept walking.


I guess if i had to gripe about anythign is that this little obsession with booze is still so front and center at this point for me. it woulda been nice to wonder down the parade oblivious to all the drinking. But i guess even a non drinking non alcoholic would not have been able to avoid it but I ugess me as an alcoholic i just tend to focus on it more its like some kinda obstacle in my path i gotta look out for and avoid etc..

JeffreyAK

About 15 months in, I had a business trip coming up, a week out of town. The longest trip of sobriety, and visions of drinking lunches, drinking dinners, hotel bars, airport bars, all filled my brain and left me anxious. The counselor at the support group I was going to suggested I make plans in advance, think through what lunch is likely to look like and how I will not drink, how I will deal with dinners, etc. She also suggested making activity plans each evening - a walk, a tour, another tour. The point was to force me to plan and structure my time, and minimize the unstructured time where my anxiety could grow and the reptilian voice could get loud.

It all turned out fine, and none of the dreaded scenarios that had been in my brain came up.

I took two things away from that trip. One, it can really help calm us down if we plan our time in advance, and build in escape plans if need be - what we will say if, what we will do if, etc. But two, things like this are rarely as bad as our fears make them out to be. The next trip after that one, was easy, and I didn't even feel the need to make detailed day-by-day plans.

SoberCAH

I hope you did well, z.

I used to do pub crawls on St. Patrick's Day and they never ended up well.

When in doubt or feeling dicey about alcohol, I ask God for help and try to work with another drunk.

I have been in rather festive environments with a good bit of drinking present for the last 3 weekends (the first 2 weekends NASCAR races and last weekend a wedding (with multiple parties)), but I have to say that I wasn't tempted to drink.

That may be in part because I asked God for help with my drinking problem and with my various living problems each morning, as I always do.

I am Irish, too, and we all know that God created whiskey to keep the Irish from conquering the earth.

zjw

soberCAH yeah i figured the fact that drinks where not directly offered to me was my higher power at work this way i didnt even have to say no it made it even easier!.

lol yeah i'm part irish as well and that side of the family is where all the alcoholics are go figure. I even saw an irish guy there he was drinking his beer and had the shakes i thought oh geeze..

I went to an irish funeral once i was a kid at the time asked my mom is this a funeral or a party? everyone was drunk and having a blast i iddnt understand it at all lol.

But i guess alcoholism doesnt descriminate it seems many other nationalities get nailed by it too.

Delilah1

If you are really worried, maybe the parade on TV is a better option this year, throw some corned beef and cabbage in the crock pot and have a nice Irish meal.☘️