Justme12

I began the year sober, I made a little over 2 months. Started binging again with friends, drugs also came back into the mix. It was under some sort of functioning control for a few weeks, then last Friday I decided I could handle another night out on the booze and other subs. 4 days which I cannot account for ended when I was taken to hospital by a friend after smashing glass into my face. I hadn't turned up for work again and my family whom had taken me in have now kicked me out, I spent a day and night in my car, and now am lucky enough to have a family member letting me stay for a while. I have been given a months notice to work before I am dismissed, I am swimming in debt and I think I am going to be homeless before long .. drink has ruined my life, and I let it. When will it end? I am tossing between giving up and becoming a slave to the bottle or just hopelessly trying to sort my life out again however, this is the lowest point I have been at. I won't be surprised if I don't survive the year. I don't know why I am posting this, I just need to vent, and if you are someone reading this debating drinking, do not do it, the consequences are not worth it, no matter how good you think that first sip will be.

Dee74

I'm sorry for all thats happened justme - but if this is your bottom, then what follows after must be your turning point, and the start of you climbing out of the hole you've dug,.

Don't listen to that Voice that tell you change is impossible and your demise is imminent.

That's Bunkum (Aussie for BS)

Change on your part can bring about changes in outcome
Do you have any ideas on how you might stay sober now?

Many of us have been there.
You'll find a lot of good advice and support here.

D

Justme12

The only thing keeping me sober right now is the thought of bringing even more pain to my family if i dont. I dont have much care for myself at the moment, its good that I love my family more than myself or I wouldnt be posting .. even after years of problems with drinking, still cant get my head around how it takes such a hold over you. its so hard to escape, it is EVERYWHERE.

ScottFromWI

It may seem like it's everywhere, but it's really all just in your head like the rest of us...so it just follows us wherever we go. But there is absolutely a way to kick it to the curb and listen to the smart voice in your mind.

It's all about finding a plan and following it/reinforcing it each and every day. It's also about being part of a recovery community that can help you call out the BS when you think it's OK to "go out for a night". This is a community right here that can help you on that respect if you would like.

least

I hope you can find the help you need to get sober for good.

Hevyn

I'm glad you're here, Justme. I drank 30 yrs. It had completely taken over my life when I found SR. Being able to talk things over here really helped take the anxiety away. You never have to feel alone - and you can reclaim your life the way many of us have. Keep reading and posting.

Incontrol15

SR saved me. Seeing that I was not alone was huge. I thought I had it bad with divorce, losing a 20yr career, and bankruptcy. I was an all day drunk and would have to drink shots in the middle of the night.

Reading all the stories helped me see I was far from alone. Reading all the stories of those who quit helped me see I could too. Seeing the stories of relapses made it clear what would happen if I drank again.

Dispair and anxiety consumed every waking moment. I had no idea just how bad alcohol effected my depression until I quit.

Something that cemented my quit early on was joining my group... April 2015. We all went through the same exact issues at the same time. It was erie, yet no denying there's a process we all go through.

All I did was poke into the groups that were a couple months to a year ahead of me. I could see a huge difference there. And I knew without a doubt that I'd get there too if I stayed sober as long.

One thing for sure...
My life was getting progressively worse when I was drinking. Looking back, that downward slope had started years before the camels back broke.

It seems as though the issues compounded over time. They just slowly and steadily stacked on top of each other.

You are absolutely wrong if you think things can't get worse. They do. I bet if you look back too, you'll see how it's been getting worse, and worse, and worse.

It's not stopping until you stop it.

It can be done. And it's sooo much better. My life has turned the other way now where things are steadily getting better, and better, and better.

Your life can be better too!

bloss

Keep coming back and posting, if you feel the urge to drink or use...tell a sober friend or get online here and post about it. Don't give up on yourself....

LoveJoy

They say sometimes the best way out is to go through. I am sure there is a program near to you for instance a homeless shelter that is more than just a shelter like Sarah's House in Fort Meade. In places like that you have no choice but to change behaviors that are hindering your progress. Sometimes bad things happening take us to a better place. So you are really just on your way to where you need to be. You can so do this.

bluedog97

They say if you want to get out of a hole, first you have to stop digging. I dug a hole for myself as well - debt, career, lost relationships. I've had to make getting sober top priority. It's the only way to fix it.

You can too.

Dee74

Regard for myself and my own well being came back again after some sober time. Don't give up Justme

If it's a struggle right now, why not post about it, everyday, until it gets better?
Come check out the Ck,ass of March support thread too:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rt-one-10.html

D
D

NYCDoglvr

I went to AA not because I wanted to, but because I had to. I simply couldn't stop drinking on my own. It's called the "gift of desperation" ... now 25 years later I'm still sober and my life is transformed. Perhaps you're at this point?

Quincy

Hi Justme. I found your comment on you don't understand how can take a such a hold on you familiar. I've spent many years trying to figure it out and/or out smart it. I never had much if any success. What makes a difference for me know is just accepting it does and stay away from it.

waynetheking

Choose life over the alcoholism abyss. God has a plan for you. You have to stop drinking first. It's worth it. We're here for you.

PhoenixJ

Good advice here. Support to you.

RockNRose

Once you hit rock bottom, it's only up from there! Count your blessings, you have a family member who still believes in you enough to take you in. Now it's time for YOU to believe in you

heartcore

The very best thing about everything crumbling is that you get to totally start over & the world gives you odd space & support to do that.

This is your life. You get to do whatever you want. When people talk about the horrible things that happen when they are loaded, I always think..."and? Is this any fun? Really?"

It's not fun. It is harsh & hard. Some nights I am restless. I don't want to stay in. I have a restlessness problem. But then I take a deep breath & remind myself that I can give myself a lovely evening - a delicious snack, a good book, a cuddle with the pup, then snuggling into bed. That is so sweet! Why do I resist it in favor of fear, danger, discomfort, shame? Makes no sense at all.

Don't give up. You deserve happiness, safety, and the excellent experience of waking up in the morning really proud of who you are. It is a thousand times better! It switches on its own - you only have to create the conditions! Your only job is to stop drinking poison, and slowly (slowly - hang in there), your true self rebuilds and takes over, and then it's not so hard. Because an evening spent reading a great book, going to a meeting, cooking food with friends - then settling into a clean sweet warm bed just feels really good. You deserve everything good!