4 months sober, dog died and I want to drink
 

It's been 4 months since I got since I got sober and I just got passed a lot of awful PAWS symptoms and my life seemed to finally be in recovery and my dog just died.

I know it may seem insignificant, but I shes been with me for 10 years and was my best friend. Now I'm really starting to want to drink. It seems so much harder than all the other times, I really don't even know why I'm posting this.

I guess I am just wanting to tell someone, I know it would destroy all my progress. It's just really tough right now.

Really sorry for your loss 14Sierra. I have a dog too and know how hard it is too lose them. Keeping you in my thoughts. :grouphug:

Dogs are pretty cool animals as long as they aren't growling at you lol.

I got news for you; you're always going to miss that dog and you don't have enough money to drown out that feeling of missing your buddy. Sometimes I still miss my dog from 20 years ago when i think about him. But a million dollars worth of alcohol still won't wash him from my mind and nor would i want it to.

Very sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. Honor her by doing the right thing and taking care of yourself. Drinking won't fix anything and you'll feel even worse when you end up hungover or worse.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your dog. Dogs are special. Ten years is a long time with a faithful companion. Shed all the tears you need to. Don't drink though, stay authentic. :hug:

Thank y'all, I really appreciate it. It's so damn hard sometimes to just not want to say screw it and just drink all the problems away.

But I'm all too familiar with where that leads.

Yea man. Just go to bed and sleep it off. When the sun rises tomorrow you'll be back to your 4 months with no regrets. Its times like these when you make it through it builds confidence.

Sorry to hear of your loss.

Stick close to us today. Alcohol would only be a temporary emotional-opt-out anyway, and as others have said, we grieve our animal companions for a long time. So drinking won't help anything really, as you know.

At least you've been there with your canine buddy, sober and useful and looking after them well at the end.

Prayers for you today.
BB

Sending you my love.

I was a year or maybe a bit more sober when my cat got run over. This was no ordinary cat, it was more like a dog, and even came sailing with me. I nursed it through sickness too, and I was absolutely distraught when he died. Worse, I was really put out my my sponsor's "casualness" about the whole thing. I was expecting some serious sympathy and understanding, and none was forthcoming.

I see why now. Whether the cat lived or died actually had no bearing on whether I could stay sober or not. I had a program to live by, and a God to turn to in times of need, and that is how I have stayed sober regardless of anything that happens to me or mine, and worse things have happened since. A good program for sobriety has kept me sober no matter what.

On the other hand, a lot of people find it relatively easy to stop for a period. It may be days, weeks, months or years and can be quite sustainable as long as all in the garden is rosey. And then something bad happens (life) and they immediately, automatically, turn to their old solution, which of course is no solution at all. It is the time invested in a good solid program that has got me through these spots without the need to drink.

I have lost a couple of dogs since. I love dogs and cats, and I completely understand what loyal friends they are, and how their loss is such a tremendous blow. I felt the grief, I remember them fondly, but it never occurred to me that the loss could justify a drink.

Sorry for your loss. I know how hard it can be.

I also know that drinking is not the answer. I lost my Dad a little over two years ago. It was the hardest time of my life. Thankfully, I had a little over 5 years of recovery at that point and at no time did I ever seriously think about drinking. That's the kind of strength that real recovery can give.

I'm so, so sorry. I've been through that too often and I know how painful it is.

I am taking my 19-year-old cat in this afternoon. He is purring and bumping his head against me right now, but he is in end-stage kidney failure. So you have someone here who absolutely understands.

Your dog wouldn't want you to waste your precious life drunk. She would want you to go for a long walk, roll in the grass, and then have a cookie.

Sending you lots of hugs.

did post b4. Not insignificant. Important to you. Empathy and support to you.

I am so sorry for the loss of your dog. :( I know how hard it is to lose a furry friend. But drinking won't bring them back and will only make you feel worse.

Honor your dog's memory by staying sober. :hug:

Sorry about your dog.

I lost my dog (the first animal I really ever loved) on 11/9/15 and I got completely hammered that night - so hammered I couldn't make it to work the next day. I was so hungover and sick and it just intensified the grief of losing my dog.

Celebrate your dog's life sober and be grateful for the time you had with your pet.

Honor your sweet dog by not drinking. Don't taint the memory of your companion by associating her with a relapse. Let your puppy be your sobriety rock.

I'm sorry for your loss.

I think its time to go puppy shopping :)

So sorry, Sierra. My deep sympathy. I had a BFF dog friend for 12 years. A Golden Retriever whose heart was as golden as his fur. When he passed, it took a long time and buckets of tears, and I am still not over him. We love them so much because they have no faults and the are incapable of seeing any in us.

It's tough, but drinking will only make your despair worse.

Hey there 14Sierra. Sorry about the dog. People can underestimate just how much they can mean to their owners. I took a week off of work when I lost my last dog. And I basically just drank the whole time. My biggest regret from my time with the old dog was that I was drinking about every day I had the little guy since he was a puppy. Stay sober. I hope that helps some.

My dog's death was the most intense pain I've endured in 25 years of recovery. It was appropriate pain and I was glad I was sober to mourn her. I hope you are too.....
There are many excuses but no reason to drink.

I'm really sorry about your dog. Think about it tho - your dog gave you unconditional love - we should really give ourselves that same unconditional love.

It;s natural to be sad and grieve - we grieve and we find our way to a new normal., Don't disrupt that process by drinking. All that does is keep the wound red raw...its like a neverending loop of pain.

Lean on the support here - you can do this.

D

I am so sorry about your dog passing. My sweet cat passed almost 6 years ago and I still miss her.

Give yourself the gift of grieving your loss in a sober state. The bond with our furkids is so precious. :grouphug:

You will never regret not drinking over this.

I've had my dog going on 9 years. She is everything to me! And I know her loss will be so so tough. Please don't drink over it! Pave the way for other individuals that know it's possible to get thru it sober. Your sweet dog would want you to be healthy.

I'm really sorry for your loss. But don't drink over this. There are no guarantees that you can quit again. Alcoholism is deadly disease. Treat it as such. 4 months is a hard place to be in. Don't look for excuse to fall back into alcoholism abyss. Stay the course. Go another day. Get the big picture. You need more time. Take action and don't dwell on you're loved one passing. We're here for ya. Use us.

There a million reasons to drink and even some fairly good ones. I know an awful lot of people wouldn't have blamed me as I watched my daughter die and then experienced the aftermath of her death.

I am a huge dog person and my profile picture is Big Daddy who passed a year ago which was a year after my daughter. Throughout times so black there aren't words to describe them I always knew one thing.

There is no problem alcohol won't make worse. Losing dogs and people sucks big time but I always asked myself how is it that alcohol will help. I never came up with an acceptable answer so I never drank.

Alcohol lies. Don't believe it's whisperings

Alcohol lies. Don't believe it's whisperings.

I like that, thanks MIRecovery!

I am so sorry about your dog.

It's not insignificant. I almost lost my sobriety last spring. My dog died and I was mess. I wanted nothing more but to drink away my pain into oblivion. If it wasn't for my therapist who basically read me the riot act, I don't want to think about what could've happened.

Good for you for telling someone. That's key.
Yes, it absolutely would.

Yes it IS really tough right now. And that's ok. No one said life gets "easier" in sobriety. No one promised me my dog wouldn't die. But we do learn ways of dealing with life.

This is what I learned last spring from my therapist (he's in AA too). He said something like this: "This is life. It ebbs and flows. You gotta just roll with it and take the good with the bad. Feel your feelings. Don't run away from them. Feel the good feelings and the bad ones. Allow yourself to GRIEVE over your dog's death. Because if you drink over it, you will die."

I guess this is what it's all about.

I used to think sobriety meant things in my life would be great. But that's not what sobriety means. Life will never be picture-perfect, even if it "looks" like it. Ever hear those circuit speakers talk about how they got the dream job, lots of money, the girl, the car, the house, and then lost their sobriety? That's because sobriety isn't about life being perfect. It's about "living life on life's terms".

Sobriety is about your dog dying and not drinking over it.

Sobriety is about your dog dying and you allow yourself to GRIEVE and feel the feelings.

I finally did this--first time in my life ever probably-- and I'm much more healthier for it now.

If I understood this decades ago, my life would've been so different but I am so blessed to get this finally, and to be able to pass it on to others.

Don't drink your feelings away.

Don't drug, eat, gamble, pill, shop, numb, game, work, sex, binge, purge, your feelings away.

Accept life as it comes, the good and the bad.

Life doesn't change.
WE do.

Please allow yourself a good cry and grieve.
Feel your feelings.
Listen to your heart, don't listen to the alcoholic voice in your mind.

And then do some good self-care.
Whatever it is as long as it's not an addiction, spree, distraction, or running away from your feelings.

Take a walk outside. Go bird watching. Put on uplifting music. Take a yoga class. Read an uplifting book. Get a manicure. Meet a friend for tea.

:grouphug:

14 Sierra, so sorry for the loss of your dog x big hugs!

Working my sobriety program helped me to change how I handled a similar experience but with different reactions. I hope this helps others:

When my first dog was put down, I wasn't working a program. I cried like crazy, and wouldn't let go of him. He likely felt my stress and sadness. My vet gently moved me away so that my dog could have a peaceful euthanasia. He pet him gently as the drug was taking effect. My poor dog had to deal with my emotional selfishness and self centeredness.

When my other dog had to put down last spring, I was there for him. I made sure I was calm for him. I cried, but I was able to speak to him and pet him very gently and reassuringly. I wanted to make sure he didn't think he had to hold on for me, and that he could let go peacefully. I wanted only love to enimate from me, and not pain. I told him in a happy calm voice that he was a good boy. I didn't want him to think he was making me sad. His euthanasia was a very different experience.

I held back on crying in the waiting room because I didn't want to upset any of the other dog owners or dogs there. I waited until I had the privacy of the bathroom to let it all out. Then I got myself together, and quietly sat down.

I thanked the vet on call for the very peaceful experience for my dog.

Night and day experiences and reactions for me. I made it about my dog and the other people, and not about me, me, me, me......

im truly sorry to read this, sierra. i thoroughly believe dogs are family. my lil buddy in my avatar brings me a lot of happiness( cept when hes hoggin the bed. :) ).
my dad died in 95 and i stayed drunk for 3 straight years.
when i got sober in 2005, one thing i realized was that all the drinking didn't relieve the pain- it delayed it.
grieving isn't easy and i don't think its supposed to be, but something to go through instead of trying to avoid.