4 months sober, dog died and I want to drink

Old 03-07-2017, 02:08 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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I'm really sorry about your dog. Think about it tho - your dog gave you unconditional love - we should really give ourselves that same unconditional love.

It;s natural to be sad and grieve - we grieve and we find our way to a new normal., Don't disrupt that process by drinking. All that does is keep the wound red raw...its like a neverending loop of pain.

Lean on the support here - you can do this.

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Old 03-07-2017, 02:32 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
under new management
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Location: Calgary, Alberta
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I am so sorry about your dog passing. My sweet cat passed almost 6 years ago and I still miss her.

Give yourself the gift of grieving your loss in a sober state. The bond with our furkids is so precious.

You will never regret not drinking over this.
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Old 03-07-2017, 05:52 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
Join Date: Jul 2016
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I've had my dog going on 9 years. She is everything to me! And I know her loss will be so so tough. Please don't drink over it! Pave the way for other individuals that know it's possible to get thru it sober. Your sweet dog would want you to be healthy.
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Old 03-07-2017, 06:10 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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I'm really sorry for your loss. But don't drink over this. There are no guarantees that you can quit again. Alcoholism is deadly disease. Treat it as such. 4 months is a hard place to be in. Don't look for excuse to fall back into alcoholism abyss. Stay the course. Go another day. Get the big picture. You need more time. Take action and don't dwell on you're loved one passing. We're here for ya. Use us.
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Old 03-07-2017, 06:18 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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Location: Grand Rapids MI
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There a million reasons to drink and even some fairly good ones. I know an awful lot of people wouldn't have blamed me as I watched my daughter die and then experienced the aftermath of her death.

I am a huge dog person and my profile picture is Big Daddy who passed a year ago which was a year after my daughter. Throughout times so black there aren't words to describe them I always knew one thing.

There is no problem alcohol won't make worse. Losing dogs and people sucks big time but I always asked myself how is it that alcohol will help. I never came up with an acceptable answer so I never drank.

Alcohol lies. Don't believe it's whisperings
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Old 03-07-2017, 06:34 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Alcohol lies. Don't believe it's whisperings.

I like that, thanks MIRecovery!
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Old 03-08-2017, 07:46 AM
  # 27 (permalink)  
Join Date: Mar 2016
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Originally Posted by 14Sierra View Post
It's been 4 months since I got since I got sober and I just got passed a lot of awful PAWS symptoms and my life seemed to finally be in recovery and my dog just died.
I am so sorry about your dog.

I know it may seem insignificant, but I shes been with me for 10 years and was my best friend. Now I'm really starting to want to drink. It seems so much harder than all the other times, I really don't even know why I'm posting this.
It's not insignificant. I almost lost my sobriety last spring. My dog died and I was mess. I wanted nothing more but to drink away my pain into oblivion. If it wasn't for my therapist who basically read me the riot act, I don't want to think about what could've happened.

I guess I am just wanting to tell someone, I know it would destroy all my progress.
Good for you for telling someone. That's key.
Yes, it absolutely would.

It's just really tough right now.
Yes it IS really tough right now. And that's ok. No one said life gets "easier" in sobriety. No one promised me my dog wouldn't die. But we do learn ways of dealing with life.

This is what I learned last spring from my therapist (he's in AA too). He said something like this: "This is life. It ebbs and flows. You gotta just roll with it and take the good with the bad. Feel your feelings. Don't run away from them. Feel the good feelings and the bad ones. Allow yourself to GRIEVE over your dog's death. Because if you drink over it, you will die."

I guess this is what it's all about.

I used to think sobriety meant things in my life would be great. But that's not what sobriety means. Life will never be picture-perfect, even if it "looks" like it. Ever hear those circuit speakers talk about how they got the dream job, lots of money, the girl, the car, the house, and then lost their sobriety? That's because sobriety isn't about life being perfect. It's about "living life on life's terms".

Sobriety is about your dog dying and not drinking over it.

Sobriety is about your dog dying and you allow yourself to GRIEVE and feel the feelings.

I finally did this--first time in my life ever probably-- and I'm much more healthier for it now.

If I understood this decades ago, my life would've been so different but I am so blessed to get this finally, and to be able to pass it on to others.

Don't drink your feelings away.

Don't drug, eat, gamble, pill, shop, numb, game, work, sex, binge, purge, your feelings away.

Accept life as it comes, the good and the bad.

Life doesn't change.
WE do.

Please allow yourself a good cry and grieve.
Feel your feelings.
Listen to your heart, don't listen to the alcoholic voice in your mind.

And then do some good self-care.
Whatever it is as long as it's not an addiction, spree, distraction, or running away from your feelings.

Take a walk outside. Go bird watching. Put on uplifting music. Take a yoga class. Read an uplifting book. Get a manicure. Meet a friend for tea.

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Old 03-08-2017, 07:51 AM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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14 Sierra, so sorry for the loss of your dog x big hugs!
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Old 03-08-2017, 08:04 AM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by NYCDoglvr View Post
My dog's death was the most intense pain I've endured in 25 years of recovery.
Working my sobriety program helped me to change how I handled a similar experience but with different reactions. I hope this helps others:

When my first dog was put down, I wasn't working a program. I cried like crazy, and wouldn't let go of him. He likely felt my stress and sadness. My vet gently moved me away so that my dog could have a peaceful euthanasia. He pet him gently as the drug was taking effect. My poor dog had to deal with my emotional selfishness and self centeredness.

When my other dog had to put down last spring, I was there for him. I made sure I was calm for him. I cried, but I was able to speak to him and pet him very gently and reassuringly. I wanted to make sure he didn't think he had to hold on for me, and that he could let go peacefully. I wanted only love to enimate from me, and not pain. I told him in a happy calm voice that he was a good boy. I didn't want him to think he was making me sad. His euthanasia was a very different experience.

I held back on crying in the waiting room because I didn't want to upset any of the other dog owners or dogs there. I waited until I had the privacy of the bathroom to let it all out. Then I got myself together, and quietly sat down.

I thanked the vet on call for the very peaceful experience for my dog.

Night and day experiences and reactions for me. I made it about my dog and the other people, and not about me, me, me, me......
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Old 03-08-2017, 09:25 AM
  # 30 (permalink)  
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im truly sorry to read this, sierra. i thoroughly believe dogs are family. my lil buddy in my avatar brings me a lot of happiness( cept when hes hoggin the bed. ).
my dad died in 95 and i stayed drunk for 3 straight years.
when i got sober in 2005, one thing i realized was that all the drinking didn't relieve the pain- it delayed it.
grieving isn't easy and i don't think its supposed to be, but something to go through instead of trying to avoid.
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