Notices

What is your anxiety like?

Old 03-04-2017, 01:00 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
 
Gottalife's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Originally Posted by Fly N Buy View Post
Thanks for this thread - It helps others(myself included) when this experience is shared - shining a light on it. Glad you posted it.

My anxiety comes in waves and typically daily. As with many others, this anxiety - or truly fear - is a physically felt as you accurately describe. At times it withdraws me so bad I just want to climb in a hole and cover myself up. I see others having fun or just carefree and long for that . I may appear that way on the outside a lot, but on the inside I can be in a ball on knots.

Fear of economics and health issue are the two biggies for most I have found as it is with me. Somehow I have to get my thoughts from what's rattling around in my head to ease these fears/anxieties. Attempting to train and distract my mind are the keys for me.

I never push any spiritual things on others but will simply share from my experience use of a mantram helps me to focus immediately on others things.
Friends may investigate that as they wish or ask questions.

Something to do with my hands is the other method to get me out of head and focus on anything else. Clean some windows, start a load of laundry, empty the dishwasher, pickup a room......etc. A task helps me get away from the jazzzz in my brain.

Again, I appreciate the topic and everyone's experience. Very helpful
I have found faith is the answer to fear. As my faith has grown over the years, my fears diminished to the point that fear is not a problem today. My faith grew by practicing the AA program and experiencing the results. It has been a very practical thing for me.
Gottalife is offline  
Old 03-04-2017, 11:52 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
Trudgin
 
Fly N Buy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
.
Fly N Buy is offline  
Old 03-04-2017, 12:18 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,095
Originally Posted by Gottalife View Post
I have found faith is the answer to fear. As my faith has grown over the years, my fears diminished to the point that fear is not a problem today. My faith grew by practicing the AA program and experiencing the results. It has been a very practical thing for me.
I have to agree with this.

I have been sober for 131 days but didn't start going to AA until I was over 2 months sober.

I have already grown spiritually and my fears (many are about death and if their is an afterlife) have calmed down quite a bit. I am sure having a clear mind helps a lot as well.
Doug39 is offline  
Old 03-05-2017, 04:10 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,109
I believe I have OCD and have since I was a child..... I think it is the source of my addiction and that I had an AV before I got high for the first time as a teenager. I have never been diagnosed because I've never really talked about it but I've always had obsessive thoughts and done ritualistic things. Always. Since I've quit drinking again this last week or so I've been OCD about this site, on it and checking it constantly, healthier than drinking sure but still a manifestation of those tendencies. Just last night my addiction came out regarding this site, the voice was telling me that I'm weird and no one likes me and I just stop coming on here and I should definitely stop talking about all of this stuff.
Wholesome is offline  
Old 03-05-2017, 06:57 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Chicago
Posts: 605
Originally Posted by zenchaser View Post
I believe I have OCD and have since I was a child..... I think it is the source of my addiction and that I had an AV before I got high for the first time as a teenager. I have never been diagnosed because I've never really talked about it but I've always had obsessive thoughts and done ritualistic things. Always. Since I've quit drinking again this last week or so I've been OCD about this site, on it and checking it constantly, healthier than drinking sure but still a manifestation of those tendencies. Just last night my addiction came out regarding this site, the voice was telling me that I'm weird and no one likes me and I just stop coming on here and I should definitely stop talking about all of this stuff.
I had very obsessive thoughts when I first quit drinking. Once I got something negative in my mind I could not shake. I don't think that necessarily means you have ocd, but it wouldn't hurt to talk to a professional about it if it negatively affecting your life
ljc267 is offline  
Old 03-05-2017, 07:03 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,109
I believe my addiction is rooted in the obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviours that I am plagued by regardless or whether I'm drinking or not.... they are always there, which is why I can trade one addictive behaviour for another. And that until I treat/ manage the anxiety and OCD I will never really get better.
Wholesome is offline  
Old 03-05-2017, 07:12 AM
  # 27 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Chicago
Posts: 605
Originally Posted by zenchaser View Post
I believe my addiction is rooted in the obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviours that I am plagued by regardless or whether I'm drinking or not.... they are always there, which is why I can trade one addictive behaviour for another. And that until I treat/ manage the anxiety and OCD I will never really get better.
It sounds like you have a pretty good grasp on the issue. I think it would help to talk to a psychiatrist about it.
ljc267 is offline  
Old 03-05-2017, 07:15 AM
  # 28 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,109
I agree and I plan to. It's an interesting topic though because like someone else in the thread said I think a lot of addicts suffer from it but it goes undiagnosed because they self medicate with substances to relieve it.... and it works until it doesn't.
Wholesome is offline  
Old 03-05-2017, 07:50 AM
  # 29 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 59
I'm seeing a psychiatrist next week. A clinical psychologist already said I have OCD and recommended Luvox. I'm probably going to start taking that. You may want to look into Luvox since it treats that specifically.

I don't have compulsions as much as just obsessive thoughts. In addition to my health anxiety, they cause me anxiety as well. Alot of them are weird and have to do with animals getting hurt or being neglected. I volunteer at an animal shelter, helping to walk dogs mainly. I find myself holding back tears sometimes when I'm there. I usually take a dose of Ativan before I go to volunteer. There are a lot of great moments at the shelter, like when a a dog gets adopted by a good family but also a lot of sadness. I think about the sad parts of it to the point where it becomes melancholic and depressive.
Rob32u is offline  
Old 03-05-2017, 08:38 AM
  # 30 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 104
This is the basis of where the problem likely began for me. Anxiety.

Since starting out and getting serious about maintaining a professional career (around 22), I have sought out challenging jobs, roles and with them came the burdening pressure of potential failure. I couldn't bear the idea that failure was a possibility, so over a period of 10-15 years, I started to lean on alcohol from time to time. Even though I was accomplished and no evidence of failing in sight, performing well...the pressure of 'what if' lingered.

It started as a couple of drinks after a long difficult week, and then as my responsibilities took on a larger scope, carrying the responsibility of more people, more professional visibility tied to strict standards of conduct, it became a comforting habit to avoid the anxiety and pressure. The glass house was too much.

As a high-achiever or someone who pushed at 100 mph and up to 70 hours a week to feel I was 'successful'...alcohol became a relaxing reprieve.

Brings me to about October 2014 and experiencing a life-changing crisis, my brain knew and was taught that a anxiety could be numbed by drinking and somehow I had believed that I had the ability to change that behavior at any time if I wanted to.

I am now anxious with high-levels of stress, constant worry over situations I don't have much control over, social anxiety as I often used drink to massage my fears of worthiness in others eyes. I have had a number of additional professional and personal stressors in the past year.

The higher levels of anxiety that has now been induced by red wine/vodka laced haze that might have been easier to combat without it.

So incredibly counterproductive and I stepped right into it. Anxiety = feed it a drink = brain changes chemistry and seeks it = creates more anxiety x life circumstances happen = needs more drink = constant skyrocketing anxiety

It feels like loss of control, racing thoughts, paralyzing sadness and worry over what tomorrow, next week or next year will look like. It feels like certain doom of the future.
halfalife is offline  
Old 03-05-2017, 08:46 AM
  # 31 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,109
I'm going to book myself to see someone this week. It is really scary to me because I've never talked about it with anyone.... this is the first time on here today. But I believe it is ground zero for my addictive personality and the source of my AV.

I've obsessed about all kinds of things.... drinking, drugs, men, my health, situations, the news, etc.... I've compulsively used substances for YEARS. I used to bite my nails down to the quick. If I have any kind of blemish or bump on my skin then I have to pick at it, it's better as an adult but it was bad when I was a teen, however I still do it. I wash my hands a LOT. I like everything to be put in certain places and I can't relax until everything is just so....
Wholesome is offline  
Old 03-07-2017, 08:30 AM
  # 32 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Cleveland
Posts: 83
Like many here, I have been diagnosed with GAD. Alcohol was my medication of choice. It worked until it didn't. In fact, it started to act like gasoline on a fire. Withdrawal anxiety is the single worst feeling I have ever experienced. In my case, I have chosen to treat it with three things:
1. Working my program with a sponsor.
2. Receiving care from a psychiatrist and taking medication
3. Exercising at least 4-5 times per week.

Each of these is absolutely critical to my success in not letting my anxiety dominate my life. If I keep all in balance, this plan seems to work. When I let one of these areas slip, the anxiety comes back in force. That's a time when I'm then in particularly high risk for taking a drink.
feldknocker is offline  
Old 03-08-2017, 03:03 PM
  # 33 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,109
I called to get myself set up with an addiction counselor today who also does CBT..... talk about anxiety! I was freaking out just making the phone call, my heart was pounding and I felt like I was trembling, took me ages to calm back down. Haha! At least it's taken care of.... now for the hard part of actually showing up and talking about all this and doing the work and making the changes. I want this! I want recovery. I've been dragging this addiction around with me since I was 15 years old, just trading one vice for another. I'm 38 and I can have another half a lifetime of a different, healthier life.
Wholesome is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:02 PM.