Relapse is a part of death.
Not a part of recovery.

There's nothing I dislike more than when I hear "Relapse is part of recovery." Particularly considering I've seen relapses kill or incarcerate for a very long time.

TWTOMe, who said anything about "Relapsing being a part of recovery"? Or were you adding this to the "Invisible Forces" that make us relapse?

There's nothing I dislike more then someone leaving the freezer door open.

When I read your original post, it occurred to me that maybe you were unconsciously judging yourself for other people - the people in the grocery store who see wine bottles in your cart. Maybe that's why you wrote this "I am sure that they think I am 'one of those' who says they are sober and aren't."

If you're sure that's what they think - are you sure you're not judging yourself (for them) too?

And then you said " But maybe they are able to have a broader perspective and take into account that life takes over and some of us have to face handling and buying booze. "

And maybe they're not. Maybe they talk about you and think you're living a lie. (But so what?) Put the shoe on the other foot. How does it look?

What I saw in your post is that under it all, you want to be understood because you're judging yourself - so you shared your experiences. Some will agree with what you're doing and some won't. But it doesn't matter either way. No one has to agree with what you say and do. You'll never make everyone happy, but that was never your responsibility anyway.

Did I do better this time? :)

I certainly am responsible for my last one.

And it wasn't fun. My friend that relapsed with me never came out of it. Don't know if she's homeless or what now.

Like I used to say, half jokingly, but half not joking, "I didn't like being drunk on booze, but I sure like the way it tasted."

Random wine bottle thoughts:
I can roll my cart through the wine section but I don't linger. Even though I was a beer drinker and it was easy for me to just drink wine with dinner the rows of wine bottles trigger me. I used to joke that wine was the only alcohol that I could drink like a normal person. I have seen many people, including my wife, drink wine alcoholically and (just like any other alcohol abuse) it isn't pretty. When I was newly sober I had semi hallucinations of half empty wine bottles talking to me.

Micro, I definitely would enjoy being understood, I am not sure how many people would say "I like to be misunderstood", so yes, I like to be understood.

And yes I AM always judging myself. But maybe we all have different definitions of this. I frequently try and judge whether I am being a good citizen, giving back to society, am I leaving the world a better place if I would move on to my next assignment before the sun rises.

I would 'like' to be understood, but at the end of the day as long as I have done the best that I can (better on some days, not as much on others), I really don't give a crap what others think, because that is not within my control, and people will think what they want to think. It does not affect me as to what others think. Which is probably why I have weened off of unhealthy relationships, maybe 'co-dependent' to an extent as well, as I don't require a collection of friends just to feel good about myself. If people want on board my train, come on aboard. But it's my train. Each person has their own train too, and I am on board just a few those trains.

I think you are trying to hard to make something of what I said when there is not that much there. I do like to have fun and joke, and am quite cynical, but I am pretty literal and mean what I say. So, there is not this hidden meaning that it seems that you are looking for. But I get that, some of us want to see more then there is. And some people DO see more then there is, but this does not mean that the person who said it (me) meant anything more then he wrote, and did not say what you are trying to turn it into.

But I am good with it. I like exchanges and interactions. But you are looking for something that is just not there.

And it's okay for people to judge me and think I am living a lie, if that is what they want to think. It's not my job to clean their side of the street. I am sure that thoughts that cross my mind about others are not always correct either. But it is human nature for us to think what we think. Acting is a whole different enchilada though. In my humble opinion....

It wasn't a matter of trying (to alter your truth) - it was a matter of interpretation. And now - through communication - things have been clarified.

Thanks, and best!
:)

I don't know how long everyone around here has been sober, but I couldn't comfortably get near alcohol for a pretty good while.

Other people may have different feelings and their actions and results are up to them.

I have been sober a good while and I am now around alcohol fairly frequently.

We have it in our home for parties, but those are rather infrequent.

This is just my ESH.

MicroMacro, maybe through alternative interpretation...but it's all good. Hey, we all have our perspective. As long as we are not drinking, or at this moment making measures to stop, this is all that matters.