Sobriety ...PIECE OF CAKE!!!
 

So yeah...what a great day. More snow dumped. So much ice that I almost bust my butt every time I do venture out. Youngest daughter sent me a hateful venting text last night as I was trying to drop off to sleep. Oldest daughter called today to assure me
youngest was FULL OF SH!T!!!! I stepped in dog cr@p. Wouldn't mind if I had a dog but it is akin to changing someone else's baby!!!!

BUT live and let live. Stop blaming others for your own cr@p (directed at youngest) and sorry about your luck. Everything is NOT MY FAULT including the fact that I am a middle kid. The one everyone wants to slap just for general purposes.

Day One AGAIN.
:grouphug:

Peace to all. G'Night.

Oh Ms. Cooter Brown, I really am sorry you had such a "crappy" day and it sounds like you are struggling which makes me sad. I think you sound like a really funny and smart lady and I hope tomorrow is a much better day for you. :Valdog:

Hope tomorrow is a better day. Consider turning off your phone or even blocking messages if they are too overwhelming. Sometimes we need to put up safe boundaries for ourselves, especially at first.

MsCooterBrown, I hope today is a better day, more peaceful, less abusive, and sober.:hug:
Know where you're coming from sister being the middle child! Me too!:headbange X

I dealt with stuff in sobriety and now where one thing after another backs me into a wall and i'm like OH COME THE FRICK ON and i wanna go drink.

now one simple example is like right now I just noticed a 50 something dollar fee on my bank. I'm ballistic but am i running to call them? nope. i'm thinking about it calming myself down telling myself mayeb i'll call them later maybe i wont. see I realize if i call them i might get it worked out in my favor. I might not too. either way i might end up really angry and ready to go drink (tho at this point i woudlnt but in early sobriety i might). I might not call em at all just to save my sanity.

My point is you pick up little tricks along the way to try and cope with this and that. now these are you kids so I guess you cant just shut your phone off at bed time maybe you can instruct them "UNLESS SOMONES DIEN DONT TEXT ME AFTER SUCH AND SUCH A TIME!" lol.

at the end of hte day its your sobriety and sanity at stake not everyone elses so sometimes you gotta be the bad guy or blow off problems even if you have too.

its the whole choose your battles wisely thing i guess.

Zjw is right...

There's also a realization that sinks in with some sober time that if I just let stuff be for a while, chances are that it may resolve on its own, it will bug me much less, and/or everyone will forget about it because life happens. Tomorrow will be new stuff.

I'm much less reactive now than when I was drinking. So there's that to look forward to, yes?

Paraphrasing from a friend....

I used to drink over a broken shoelace and now I just BE.

Hahaha...True story Centered!

yupperz!! being diagnosed with cancer and the 3+ year fighting it?
no problem.
break a shoelace or drop a glass on the floor? meltdown!

might be a good lesson with this experience,mcb.

MsCB, no everything is not your fault.

nor is everything everybody else's fault:)

the one really slapping you repeatedly is you. no?

Hang on, Mrs. CB. You can do this. Right at the end of my drinking I was walking down the stairs to go to work. Stepped in dog crap and fell. I lay on that step crying for 20 minutes. This is all to say - drinking really only makes things worse. Now I would get up, wipe it off and change clothes. Probably even laugh a little.

We're here. We got your back.

fini I will mull it over some more. I think like a LOT of us I have some stuff to let go of. Been pretty much thumped on for a long time. Dad...Husband..(EX now thank god) But I did well. BUT all in all...still the one that has to be a people pleaser. Trying to let go of that. I can no longer be in charge of making everyone happy. It is internal...and up to each individual. :)

....and I do read and appreciate all the replies. Each one helps me look at things from a different perspective. <3

Just like getting sober.

When we're actively drinking, we're in a vicious cycle. Bad stuff happens, so we drink, so we have fewer coping skills, so everything seems like too much, so we drink, which further erodes our perspective, so more stuff happens...

There is always stuff. Whether we react by drinking at it is our choice.

I have on rooster, 21 hens, and one of those hen's is sitting on 20 eggs (probably more, since when a Broody Hen leaves her eggs to 'do her business, stretch her legs, and eat some chow' other hen's tend to jump in her nest and drop an egg in the mix to further perpetuate the hopeful existence of their species).

Each morning before leaving for work I check on them and end up getting some chicken **** on me, it is impossible not too. I think in a way it keeps life somewhat in perspective for me....

BTW, getting chickens for my wife (her birthday wish list 3 plus years ago) was one of the best things to happen for my sobriety. I knew nothing about chickens and quickly started enjoying the very nature of the fact that they require very little of me other then to have some space to free range (we are fortunate enough to have space for this) to keep their feeder with feed in it, to keep them in fresh water, and to give them kitchen scraps (oh, and a morning throw out of bird seed). In return, they each leave me an egg each day or two, are quite pleasant, seem grateful, and make very peaceful little cooing and clucking noises that I find particularly calming. Knowing that defenseless animals required me to provide for them these very basic needs for their own lives, helped me in a way take better care of myself.

Whoda...My daughter has chickens. They are fun. Point taken. You give...you get in return.
I have to figure some things out. I am a happy person who loves life. I have been in a self imposed seclusion since I retired. Phase two...what to do. I see myself as a leftover in this GOD FORSAKEN State. Snow ...wind...I came here because of a good job. Provide for my family...give the girls a head start. SO NOW...I retired...Kids moved on (I urged them and they are doing good) but here I am ...I will figure it out. Just quite a transition for me. Life is what it is called.

MCB, if you moved today do you know where you would like to live? Maybe where ever that place is would have something that would interest you to do, either work wise, or community/volunteer wise. Who knows...maybe worth googling and checking the market.

I get the 'seclusion' thing. I call it isolation. That is what I do and call it. And my employment has always been in sales, even now as a small business owner, which may seem counter intuitive, except that when you 'eat what you kill', in my case I always had to cold call and generate my own accounts, I actually controlled the environment, in that, if I did not like the person, I simply left. If they tried to 'know me' I never came back. So over the years I developed a client base of people who appreciate my service and products, and they don't want to know who I am and they don't want me to know anything about them. It's all business. If I feel particularly reclusive, I just don't see anyone. I might resort to emailing or phone calling instead till I 'get out of my reclusiveness' which is not really much of an outgoing nature.... :) Turns out that I am good with myself and being alone, even though I am married and have adult kids I am close with. I just was able to learn in my sobriety who I really was, and gained comfort and pride in being an introvert (go figure, I was raised and brainwashed to be an extrovert).

So, maybe this is another reason why I really like my chickens. They don't ask me any questions and I talk to them whenever I want to, and they seem to act like they listen........ :)

MCB, the world will drag us down and not give a second thought about it. People, weather, everything. I always just try to carve out a little truth and peace of mind for myself somewhere along the way, somewhere to stand. And the only way people like us can do that is to start by staying sober no matter what.

Appreciate the reminder Snazzy! Trying to figure stuff out. I will find my way...Thanks!!!

A bit breezy today. 70 mph winds! Holy sh!t Batman!

MCB, if you moved today do you know where you would like to live? Maybe where ever that place is would have something that would interest you to do, either work wise, or community/volunteer wise. Who knows...maybe worth googling and checking the market.

I get the 'seclusion' thing. I call it isolation. That is what I do and call it. And my employment has always been in sales, even now as a small business owner, which may seem counter intuitive, except that when you 'eat what you kill', in my case I always had to cold call and generate my own accounts, I actually controlled the environment, in that, if I did not like the person, I simply left. If they tried to 'know me' I never came back. So over the years I developed a client base of people who appreciate my service and products, and they don't want to know who I am and they don't want me to know anything about them. It's all business. If I feel particularly reclusive, I just don't see anyone. I might resort to emailing or phone calling instead till I 'get out of my reclusiveness' which is not really much of an outgoing nature.... :) Turns out that I am good with myself and being alone, even though I am married and have adult kids I am close with. I just was able to learn in my sobriety who I really was, and gained comfort and pride in being an introvert (go figure, I was raised and brainwashed to be an extrovert).

So, maybe this is another reason why I really like my chickens. They don't ask me any questions and I talk to them whenever I want to, and they seem to act like they listen........ :)