Addict Behavior
 

Have you ever done something while high or drunk that you’d never even think to do while sober?

“She was drunk. She’d never do or say that sober.” That could be – and probably have been – said about me in the past. However, I don't think they were said to excuse my behavior. They were said to explain it.

What do you think?
Does being intoxicated or high excuse someone’s behavior or does it explain it?

The answer to the first question is absolutely and the second is absolutely not

I think most of us have experienced this, with our own behavior and with other people. "Excuse" is a judgement word, but even putting that aside, "Explain" is pretty empty because it doesn't really explain anything. Drunk people just do really stupid or totally out-of-character things, it's an aspect of addiction and I'm not sure there's any more meaning that can be attached to it.

Yes.....too many times to count. And what is even worse are the things I did that I don't remember doing.


It might be acceptable behavior and an excuse to another addict or alcoholic who also uses that excuse but not to the average sober person.

We are responsible for our actions at all times. Even if we don't control them after we get drunk or high. That's why it's so imperative to never pick up a drink in the first place.

It's tricky. Yes, the reason we acted in the ways that we did is because we were addicted.. it's not excused. And not excused doesn't mean unforgiven. We still have to be accountable and responsible. Yes, I did this, I can't change that, I am sorry I did it and now that I am sober and see more clearly how my actions can affect others, I have to make a decision to be better, to choose to act better.. and forgive myself for what I've done even if others can't.

Scott reminded me of a very useful mindset I had in early recovery.

I had become unwell...more than I knew...so wasn't entirely responsible for what I had become or what I did. I was unwell...not a bad person as I feared.

But now...people who had had the same problem explained to me. I was an alcoholic. I believed them, made perfect sense. Now I WAS responsible...for my recovery. Knowing I was an alcoholic, I had a duty to stop lying to myself and not pick up the first drink.

P

While drinking I'd absolutely do things and engage in behaviours that I would never consider doing sober.

It definitely doesn't 'excuse' it. That word implies some kind of forgiveness for it. 'Explain' is slightly better, but ultimately I'm the one responsible for my actions, even when intoxicated.

I can take charge of my recovery and ensure alcohol never enters my body again. That's how I stay responsible for my actions and behaviours.

Well, I thought about doing things when I was sober, but was too afraid . So I drank/used for courage to do what I wanted to do and to excuse/explain why I had done it.
"Wow. Did you hear what darkling did last weekend?!"
"Yeah, but she was drunk . . ." [implying that it was ok.]


NEITHER.