My recovery & health questions
 

I've been sober for about one month now. I had a beer a few weeks ago at a work event where I felt I couldn't say no to my boss (these work events are awful and all of them involve alcohol... I'm honestly thinking I need a new job or need to get the flu whenever one of them rolls around. I felt sick and went home early and vomited and called some people from AA and cried for days.)

The point is: When do you get better? When do you feel okay? My liver still hurts (although my numbers are normal normal normal). I've been eating well but still gaining weight (especially around my stomach, which has been throwing me into daily panic attacks about the fact that it could be ascites -- do you have ascites with normal liver numbers????)

I didn't get the pink cloud. It's always been bad. When does it get better!!! I'm desperate and I feel like I'm dying.

It gets better, madzmartigan :grouphug:

It really does. You are in very early days but keep keeping at it, it is so worth it.

Skip these drinking centric work events, especially this early. Give yourself some time to build up your sober muscles.

Don't worry about not getting the pink cloud, not everyone does. I didn't and I have just celebrated 2 years sober. No pink cloud but a lot of very deep satisfaction.

You can do this :grouphug:

Stay sober and keep going, that's all you need!

Hi madzmartigan - congrats on your month :)

The only way you're going to know if everything is ok is to see a Dr, and if your health concerns are really worrying you I hope you will.

I felt awful for the first month, a little better in the second and started to feel OK in month three. I hope your trajectory is swifter :)

and learn to say no to your boss. Drink a soda or something instead :)
D
D

See a doctor- liver, general health.

I found things had got a lot better and the compulsion to drink had gone by the time I got about half way into step nine. For me that was ninety days. I have heard others with times from two weeks out to a year, but it always seems to be at step 9.

I once heard the question "When should I do the steps?" answered with another question "when do you want to recover? If you want to recover now, we'll take the steps now. If you want to recover later, I guess we can put off the steps, but you'll probably drink." This actually describes my experience quite well.

Things get better. You know the misery of drinking that will always be there. So, stay sober and it continues to get better. My liver took about 6 months for the pains to subside and mentally I have great days, good days, ok days, some bad ones but I don't have nasty hungover shameful, guilty, sick ones.

Good luck and many prayers

I am 2 days away from being 4 months sober and I feel unbelievably healthier than I have in over 20 years. I can think straight, my emotions aren't all over the place and I am happy and have energy again.

My liver area hurt for years but I have no pain at all anymore.

good luck and stay sober. It will get better. After a month sober I was still a mess.

Time is the great healer. I had a myriad of health issues when I first quit. They all cleared up over time.

Hi Mardz, I am approaching 2 months and feel so much better than a month ago. I eat well and have a walk everyday, sleeping still an issue though!! but this will level out in time I am sure. It does get better but only just incrementally, keep at it no matter what and try keep busy to distract yourself, take it one day at a time, good luck. :)

I can really relate to that,madz. I had nothing but gloom, despair, and agony for quite some time early one. I had heard of the pink cloud thing during that time, but ya know who I heard it comin from?
people that had returned to AA sayin ," I got on a pink cloud and then _________ happened and I drank."
that made me rather greatful to not be getting on a pink cloud and if I did, it was suggested I had a pink parachute because just as in hard times
this,too, shall pass.
when did it get better? lookin back id say from day 1. I wasn't hungover every morning, so that was already better. I didn't have fear over what I might have done or said the night before while in a blackout so that was better. I knew where I was when I woke up in the morning so that was better.

as far as things internally, welp, that took T.I.M.E. I remember hearing give AA 90 days and if I wasn't happy with the results, I was welcome to have the misery refunded at the door.
I went to meetings,read the big book, worked the steps,prayed, repeated.
90 days in I was just about to start the 4th step. I remember just one thing from the meeting I went to on the 90th day. that was sayin," I was told to give the program 90 days and if I wasn't happy then the misery would be refunded. I don't know if im happy but I know im not miserable like I was when I walked in so somethings different. think i'll give it another 90 days."

when did it truly start feeling better and I noticed? id say after step 5.
however
I continued to work the steps and got weller and weller.

theres promises associated with each step and my favorite that happened are the 10th step promises:

And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone-even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality—safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition.

have ya been to yer doctor about the pain?maybe youre putting on weight that the liquid diet didn't? what is the normal weight range for your age and height?

Thanks to everyone for the pleasant wishes. I am hoping I feel better soon. I am not as far along the steps as I would wish but I know there is no use in rushing it.

I am feeling a little better. tomsteve, I think I might be putting on weight but I don't know. I had my liver #s done last month and they were right on target, and a few months ago had a liver ultrasound that looked okay, if a little fatty. There was no test-like reason why I should still have pain. I think I need to go back to my doctor or at least see a counselor to deal with this crazy I'm getting from thinking it's ascites ALL DAY EVERY DAY.

I think seeing someone is a good idea. Unexplained pain, and fixating on health fears, is not a good place to be.

I hope you & your doctor can figure it out :)

without offering health advise, i'll just say this-I've seen some people with ascites and you don't fit the bill in any way.
you're talking about severely distended abdomens in almost bed-ridden bottom barrel cases of alcoholism.

None of which had healthy liver numbers.

When I was admitted to the hospital on my last bender a year ago, i had fluid in my belly and it wasn't looking good. Even then the dr.s said I could still turn it around.

the point is, more than likely, this is nothing big. So if you're that scared go badger the doctor again. if it'll make you feel better. Our illness tends to try to lead us to fixate on one impossible obstacle and drive us right back out the door. So don't fall for it. It's just early sobriety. It's messy and scary.

Hey everyone, just checking in. Haven't been able to see the doctor yet for him to poke my tummy but my second set of liver numbers came in and everything still seems okay. I haven't gained or lost weight this week and my belly looks fairly the same as it has for the last few weeks. So that's really good!!!

On the other hand, I quit my job because stress was getting too much and my sobriety was being tempted. I am going to do a less stressful part time job and focus on being healthy and sober and go to meetings a lot more often and get a full-time job again when I am ready. Luckily my husband is okay with this and our financial situation will not be dire.

I have also found a therapist I like so that is good! It feels so good to just unload on someone and have them genuinely interested in helping you.

I am finally feeling like I can kick this thing for good this time. And that feeling is making me so happy!

Thanks for checking in Madz...sound like you are making progress in many different areas of your life, that's really good to hear! You sound very positive too, that is also a great sign.

Excellent advice
 

I never followed the steps, but did go to AA once.

But this;

"We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality—safe and protected." is indeed a beautiful thing once achieved.

Nice post, thanks :c011:

Hi there. Good on you for one month sober! Still early on; give it time and keep doing healthy things....feeling up to snuff like you would REALLY like to feel takes time and daily healthy habits. Do you exercise? I may have missed that. But just for myself, exercise is essential to really feeling good. Also, I don't know your age, but for me it seems like more work to fight off fat accumulation around the middle at my age than it did 20 years ago. I don't know if you've had other labs checked aside from your liver enzymes, but I got a full lab work up recently and everything looked good, but my thyroid is WAAAYY undertreated....so I'm glad I got it checked. Dr. is going to up my thyroid. I don't feel too different, but fighting fatigue, so maybe it's my thyroid being off. Anyways, one thing is for SURE....being sober is better all around, eh? You will not go wrong by not drinking. No question on that. Keep on....Are you getting enough sleep?