Thoughts on Moderation
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: WA
Posts: 891
I can moderate on sugar and coffee intake, food portion size and social media all things I was probably doing to excess. Moderation in my view means cutting down, not abstaining competely. Alcohol is one of those things that moderation does not work, at least for me. One has to remember that chemically they are not the same person they were before taking the first drink. Will power is likely to be sabotaged by alcoholic reasoning as soon as the drug fires off a bunch of endorphins in the brain.
Doctors generally recommend no more than two standard drinks per day, this assumes that most people are in a mental position to limit themselves to two standard drinks per day. If you are unsure on the efficacy of moderation, try a little controlled drinking. Walk into a bar or buy a bottle of your favorite poison and have just one drink and no more, try stopping abruptly for no other reason than you choose to. I failed the test every time.
Doctors generally recommend no more than two standard drinks per day, this assumes that most people are in a mental position to limit themselves to two standard drinks per day. If you are unsure on the efficacy of moderation, try a little controlled drinking. Walk into a bar or buy a bottle of your favorite poison and have just one drink and no more, try stopping abruptly for no other reason than you choose to. I failed the test every time.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Moderation worked just fine for me
until I ended up in yet another blackout.
Thought best for me to make a firm decision to not drink again.
Been working so far -- with much help from a Higher Power -- God.
M-Bob
until I ended up in yet another blackout.
Thought best for me to make a firm decision to not drink again.
Been working so far -- with much help from a Higher Power -- God.
M-Bob
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Midwest U.S.
Posts: 142
I've come to believe that my brain and body are biochemically unable to handle alcohol in "normal" ways. The why is not as important as the simple fact that it just is.
I woke up New Year's Day hungover when I promised not to be, and that's far from the first time. Classic hallmark of being unable to control oneself, and therefore, alcoholism by definition. Period, end of story.
ABW1
I woke up New Year's Day hungover when I promised not to be, and that's far from the first time. Classic hallmark of being unable to control oneself, and therefore, alcoholism by definition. Period, end of story.
ABW1
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Wise words written 80 years ago
MOST OF US have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.
We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed.
MOST OF US have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.
We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 59
There's nothing magic about 2 drinks. Some people naturally stop after two, some after 4, some after 15. I could stop after five with little or no effort. It took more effort to stop at three. I almost never had two. I drank five a day every day for almost 20 years. That's why I considered myself an alcoholic. Whether you're an alcoholic is a matter of degree. So It's not a cut and dry distinction between "normal" people and alcoholics.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: illinois
Posts: 907
I researched my ability to moderate multiple times. Turned out I could do it. I could drink two and stop. -But it sucked. About an hour after that second drink, I hate everything.
I can't explain how grateful I was and am that sobriety is actually a great deal. Cutting back to a moderate drinking level would have made me homicidal. For a guy like me, moderate drinking is excruciating.
I can't explain how grateful I was and am that sobriety is actually a great deal. Cutting back to a moderate drinking level would have made me homicidal. For a guy like me, moderate drinking is excruciating.
G-Woman
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Mississauga, ON
Posts: 979
Oh God, why would I even want to have just 1 or 2 drinks? It's all or nothing for this girl right here.
Near the end I tried to control the frequency of my binges. But my drinking days would spillover into the next day just to mitigate the withdrawals. And on it would go....
It's easier to be sober, honestly. Some days my AV likes to tell me differently, but I know he's a vicious liar.
Near the end I tried to control the frequency of my binges. But my drinking days would spillover into the next day just to mitigate the withdrawals. And on it would go....
It's easier to be sober, honestly. Some days my AV likes to tell me differently, but I know he's a vicious liar.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
Originally Posted by Rob32u 
There's nothing magic about 2 drinks. Some people naturally stop after two, some after 4, some after 15. I could stop after five with little or no effort. It took more effort to stop at three. I almost never had two. I drank five a day every day for almost 20 years. That's why I considered myself an alcoholic. Whether you're an alcoholic is a matter of degree. So It's not a cut and dry distinction between "normal" people and alcoholics.
After 20 years or so I realized how much energy I had wasted on the struggle - how much anxiety I had, the lack of sleep, low emotional maturity, how many failed relationships there had been.. and I admitted defeat. It still took me a few more years to completely quit, because I genuinely enjoy the taste of wine and beer.
I agree - the distinction is not clear cut at all. I also consider myself an alcoholic, even though I drank at a level that is a warm up for some on here.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Chicago
Posts: 605
Great discussion! I agree with those who say that, for an alcoholic, moderation is impossible, at least it was/is for me.
Also, I've seen a few talk about the amount they drank regularly. I don't think it matters how much or little you drink. If you have to do it or if it negatively affects your life, it's a problem.
Also, I've seen a few talk about the amount they drank regularly. I don't think it matters how much or little you drink. If you have to do it or if it negatively affects your life, it's a problem.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
Many years ago I got some bad Sushi and got violently ill, vomiting and the chills. It was so bad I didn't have Sushi for a decade. Thing is I didn't have to go to a 12 Step Sushi program to stop.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Chicago
Posts: 605
Originally Posted by NYCDoglvr
Many years ago I got some bad Sushi and got violently ill, vomiting and the chills. It was so bad I didn't have Sushi for a decade. Thing is I didn't have to go to a 12 Step Sushi program to stop.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: West Tn
Posts: 3,043
Originally Posted by ThomPom
Well, Dee, glad to see you manging sobriety so well, just walking on a different path. I had it the other way round: unfortunately I was not able to stop completely, if I could,I would have.
Just to explain it a little better: I have not perceived his cutting back thing as a step towards a normal drinking bahviour, never. Accepting and being aware of this, it was the key for me to be able to cut back. It was still highly addictive drinking. I just tried to make the alcohol quantity efficient as possible (minimizing), i would still drink each and every day. But the space / time gained I used to redirect myself and learn.
At that time I had a flashcard box, one for each trigger, emotional feeling, habit loop, and target behavior listed. Simplified, I then took it "card by card" with lots of failure, but never gave up. That may sound structured and organized, but in fact it was more out of weakness of an addict learning by taking manageble baby steps. I made myself clear as often as possible that this cutting back thing is no glory achievement, but a phase of crawling out of the rut, by clawing my nails into the dirt - with many (expected) slides backwards. Only in the retroperspective it made all that sense to me and the benfits of this ways have become obvious to me with specific personality and way.
Just to explain it a little better: I have not perceived his cutting back thing as a step towards a normal drinking bahviour, never. Accepting and being aware of this, it was the key for me to be able to cut back. It was still highly addictive drinking. I just tried to make the alcohol quantity efficient as possible (minimizing), i would still drink each and every day. But the space / time gained I used to redirect myself and learn.
At that time I had a flashcard box, one for each trigger, emotional feeling, habit loop, and target behavior listed. Simplified, I then took it "card by card" with lots of failure, but never gave up. That may sound structured and organized, but in fact it was more out of weakness of an addict learning by taking manageble baby steps. I made myself clear as often as possible that this cutting back thing is no glory achievement, but a phase of crawling out of the rut, by clawing my nails into the dirt - with many (expected) slides backwards. Only in the retroperspective it made all that sense to me and the benfits of this ways have become obvious to me with specific personality and way.
The gap between my realizing I couldn't moderate and walking into a treatment center was a period of 5 or 6 years.
I like the discussion about paths to recovery.
Mine was rather bumpy to say the least, but it was, and is, a part of my journey to sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 5
Originally Posted by Doug39
My thoughts on moderation? None. I have never been able to do it.
I drank to get drunk. I would rather have zero drinks than just one drink. That would be torture to only have one.
I drank to get drunk. I would rather have zero drinks than just one drink. That would be torture to only have one.
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