CLAS

I think I now know what a dry drunk is. I have been one the last two days. Not drinking but miserable. Almost drank last night, but thought again. Was hoping to wake up feeling good today, but not the case. Hope you're all feeling good and this post finds you well.

ScottFromWI

There's a lot of different ways to describe what you are feeling CLAS, but I think the bottom line is that recovery is hard and we need to address whatever issues ail us during this time. Our default reaction in the past whenever we felt this was was to drink of course, so it's hard to face the world on it's own terms.

Coming here to discuss it of course is a much better option than drinking, so that's a positive step. It's also a good reminder to re-focus your efforts on your recovery, whatever your plan may be. Or even time to look at your recovery plan itself and see if there is something you need to change or add.

entropy1964

Hey CLAS

Yeah, restless, irritable, discontent. I've been there. Its normal to have a lot of ups and downs in the first few months, if not for longer. But if you're feeling continually unsettled well, that's miserable.

I know my serenity/peace is in direct proportion to my acceptance that I cannot control alcohol, period. Its off the table. If 'my' recovery involves trying to make myself a normal drinker again, at some point in the future, then I'm pretty miserable.

I have admitted many times in the past (not proud of that) that I am powerless over alcohol. But I haven't replaced that powerlessness with any other design for living. So basically I was living the same life, just without booze. I am now working the program of AA and hopeful that if I follow the suggestions I will live a more meaningful life. I'll be sober 6 months on the 18th and for the most part life it pretty peaceful.

Maybe look at adding a more meaningful program of recovery?

doggonecarl

Early recovery has it's ups and downs, that's for sure.

I have heard that non-alcoholics have rotten miserable days too, really, so don't be too quick to label yourself a dry drunk.

leviathan

OMG- that label needs to be retired...

anyak313

I've only been sober for 22 days but I still get a similar feeling. I just wake up go to my classes, workout a little then repeat the next day. I feel like I'm white knuckling my way through life as opposed to enjoying it. I've tried AA before and really didn't like it. I'm 27 and whenever I went to meetings that were around me and fit with my schedule it was mostly all middle aged men. Couldn't really find a common ground with anyone. I definitely feel better physically, but mentally not so much. Sorry if I'm ranting here lol

SWTPEA61

Can someone explain what a dry drunk is ?
I've heard this term before and I'm confused on what it means.

Jojay

Hi.Descusions and explainations about the term 'dry drunk'haven't come up on this part of the SR forum for some time.I cannot remember any of the explainations,either.Hope some of the knowledgeable SR moderators and SR community can answer your question.Take care.

tomsteve

a thread of yours on the 29th said you were 32(?) days sober. so that would make today 36?
good on ya!!!
I don't think what youre experiencing would be called a dry drunk. just the feelings and emotions of early recovery, which can be an extreme roller coaster of emotions with some high highs and low lows.

give it T.I.M.E. and those highs and lows will get closer together.

this,too,shall pass.

ScottFromWI

The term "Dry Drunk" usually refers to someone who has physically quit the act of drinking alcohol, but has not addressed any of the issues surrounding their addiction -and they may still exhibit some of the bad behaviors they had while they were actively drinking.

The term also has some negative connotations and can be used in a derogatory manner, so it's not always accepted by everyone. On that note, a quick reminder that arguments about things of that nature are not allowed here in the forums.

Bottom line though there is no "textbook" definition of the term - it's just a phrase.

Grungehead

Some people like to use the term dry drunk and others dislike the term. I'm ambivalent about the term but understand the feelings. In my experience these feelings are the classic symptoms of untreated alcoholism. In early sobriety they are somewhat expected as we are still finding our way in recovery. After time though when I start to feel restless, irritable and discontented I know that there is a reasonably good chance I am neglecting my recovery. I think the term "dry drunk" came about to describe someone who was behaving just like they did when they drank (thus drunk) without actually drinking (thus dry).

Oops Scott beat me to it and is spot on. I'll leave it up anyway. I've heard it used in AA to describe someone who has been active in recovery and then seems to have reverted back to old behaviors. Being in a "dry drunk" could be a warning sign that someone is in danger of relapsing. The important thing is not so much what to call it but that the behavior is recognized and dealt with.

Jojay

Many thanks for clarifying the phrase 'dry drunk',ScottFromWI and Grungehead.

freshstart57

The funk you are experiencing might lift if you can change the idea behind your motivation for sobriety. If that motivation is giving something up,
Ike the deep pleasure drinking alcohol can bring, this is going to be a rough road ahead.

If you can look at it instead as making a choice to experience all the things that being a drunk denies us, things get off on a more positive and affirming footing. What remains is to then go and pursue these new abilities. Do things that require and create mastery and a feeling of accomplishment, things that let you experience the joy and beauty around us. It makes us happy, and that's what this whole thing is about. Onward!

Dee74

How are you feeling now CLAS?

D

CLAS

Hi Dee-I'm bad, but sober. Things are a mess and it's scary. But perhaps I can fight my way out of this. Thanks for asking.

FBL

I'll second that motion!

TheBatman

Your'e not alone, alot of us struggle with this. Im 30 and I know the pain, the feeling off everyday, having thoughts in your head you didnt have before you started drinking, wondering if that's the real you meantally, or if that's from alcohol abuse. Wondering why you have these "mean streaks" and feeling like you dont' even know yourself anymore, not feeling like a "normal" person. Your'e not alone, i just hope you go through your day realizing that.

BrendaChenowyth

A person is either drunk or they are not, either emotionally mature or they are not.

Gottalife

Well if you can tolerate and survive another few years misery, you will be middleaged too, and you will fit right in.

But hang on, if these guys are already there and recovered, maybe some of them were less than middleaged when they began their journey. Maybe they were just like you?

Perhaps it is what you are listening for as well. It seemed to me that most older members had achieved some things in their lives before losing it all to booze. I had achieved nothing. Some of their stories about DUI,s and broken marriages, not to mention prison time were alien to me as well.

But when they talked about the loss of control and choice, the crippling fear, the despair at never being able to do anything right, boy did I relate to that. I was 22 when I had my last drink, and I am so grateful for the love and tolerance those old boys showed me when I came in. My story was different, but I had the same illness.

Fly N Buy

From the Little Big Book Dictionary ISBN 0966995309;

"Dry Drunk - is not found in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. Perhaps drawn from lines in Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions book; " These dry benders"(pg. 90) which refer to an emotional state of being triggered by resentments, anger & other forms of stormy emotions and not a state of being related to drinking alcoholic beverages. This infers that one is either emotionally drunk while not drinking - most often as a judgement of another, suggesting one is not working The Program and that such emotional states are the results. ( We suggest "The Program" isn't to be a tool for eliminating feelings and emotions, but if practiced, will work to provide a more effective and appropriate way of processing and dealing with emotions.)

The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions book addresses emotions at length. "