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24 days sober but I want a drink!

Old 01-30-2017, 04:46 PM
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24 days sober but I want a drink!

So I have been self medicating my anxiety with alcohol for 4 years now and then i got sober for a month...then relapsed and binge drank for a week straight all day all night about a pint and half/750ml a day of gin/vodka even called out of work 3 days to keep drinking and ended up in the hospital..I swear it was like it was trying to kill me this one last time....It has been 24 days since I got out of the hospital and my last drink... Now my anxiety was horrible at first...like unbearable...especially since my doctor prescribed me and OVERLY EXCESSIVE amount of B vitamins which WREAKED HAVOC on my anxiety/depersonalization..After i got off the B vitamins my anxiety went down alot but now on and off it gets bad and better like a roller coaster...Well today I was fine all day and all the sudden now tonight im at home and my anxiety it bad and i feel weird and my brain just keeps telling me to go get some booze and drink till the pain goes away...I know i CANT do that... I have to stay sober... but its sooo hard! I dont even think I would crave alcohol if it wasnt just to temporarily make me feel better...
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Old 01-30-2017, 05:06 PM
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This may sound weird, but I swear my bastard brain set me up by creating the anxiety that could then be easily taken care of with drinking.

Part of my brain only wanted to drink at all costs. It created situations that were so uncomfortable for me, almost unbearable...then offered a ready solution to end the pain. A master plan to get its fix.

Things got a lot easier once I said never again. Drinking became not an option despite the noise and anxiety. Things got a lot quieter after that. Of course, there aren't actually two parts of my brain, but the strategy of separating from craving/desire is a useful strategy that people have been using for a long time (the Buddhists have been using it for thousands of years). AVRT is one such technique that many use to end their addictions.
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Old 01-30-2017, 05:24 PM
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I used to drink to 'feel better' but then it made me feel worse afterward. A lot worse. My anxiety now is bearable since I'm sober.

24 days sober is great, but still new. Give yourself more sober time for the anxiety to get better.
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Old 01-30-2017, 05:34 PM
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Originally Posted by soberlicious View Post
This may sound weird, but I swear my bastard brain set me up by creating the anxiety that could then be easily taken care of with drinking.

Part of my brain only wanted to drink at all costs. It created situations that were so uncomfortable for me, almost unbearable...then offered a ready solution to end the pain. A master plan to get its fix.

.
I feel the same way !! Like the part of my brain the loved using alcohol as a quick fix to my anxiety is now creating more anxiety to just get me to give in and drink..
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Old 01-30-2017, 07:08 PM
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since you feel the same was as soberlicious describes, maybe the same soultion she used will be of use to you, too.
she took drinking off the table and used a technique of separating fom craving.
maybe chek out AVRT.
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Old 01-30-2017, 07:49 PM
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If your health will allow it, exercise may help. I'm not even trying to be preachy or pushing any health agenda. When I feel this way I do something to get my heart rate up a couple of times within a half an hour. Options for me: eliptical, bike, rowing, swimming, brisk walk(outside even better), weights, weight machines, pushup/situps,.
A simple half hour breaking a sweat, and I'm usually WAY less anxious.

Sounds too simple, right?
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Old 01-30-2017, 11:21 PM
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You can breathe power into yourself.

Sit, stand, lay on the bed. Doesn't matter. Breathe deep & know that you are drawing in power & stability. Think of rock or mountain or sky or space&stars or churning seas. Whatever indicates stability or deep power to you. Then pull it into your body with your breath.

Energy work like this can change how you feel. People use the term "grounded." You can ground yourself.

We use alcohol to pretend-ground us, but it is an illusion, as you know.

I know it sounds awkward, but going into nature and leaning against an old tree or laying atop a rock & trying to breathe that solid energy into your body is more powerful than an artificial substance.

I am woefully unsuccessful at emptiness type meditation, but if I lean against a tree, and try to imagine our cells interacting, as I breathe that strength in, I feel stronger after. I feel changed, and not very scared of anything.
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Old 01-30-2017, 11:43 PM
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Have you read through this link Khyzer?

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html

D
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Old 01-31-2017, 02:47 AM
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Hey khyzer, how was the rest of your night?
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Old 01-31-2017, 03:59 PM
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hey i appreciate all the responses! I did not drink last night, the craves went away, I am in the same spot again tonight though but I am holding onto the fact I know I can do it again. Its not easy but ill keep fighting and thanks again for everyone taking time to respond.
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Old 01-31-2017, 06:38 PM
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What happened 24 days ago?
That's probably the reason not to start drinking today.
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Old 01-31-2017, 06:44 PM
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If you have permanent anxiety or anxiety that just naturally comes and goes (when you've been sober and you're not withdrawing), a psychiatrist or medical doctor can help find a long-term solution.

Anti-depressants are common treatments for anxiety long-term and if you find the right one, it can work wonders. Short term, the doctor may prescribe a benzo, but tell him about your history of alcoholism and all other diagnosed diseases because that can be a no-no.

TLDR: This is what doctors are for.
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Old 01-31-2017, 07:07 PM
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Originally Posted by khyzer35 View Post
hey i appreciate all the responses! I did not drink last night, the craves went away, I am in the same spot again tonight though but I am holding onto the fact I know I can do it again. Its not easy but ill keep fighting and thanks again for everyone taking time to respond.

Good for you! Every time you wrestle a craving to the ground you are stronger and you start to believe you can. It builds your confidence in yourself and in your ability to handle whatever comes at you.

You can do this!
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