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Talkinandwalkin 01-27-2017 04:13 PM

Can Anyone Relate?
 
I know this will sound absurdly petty. I have a serious issue with people with poor manners. I almost go insane and feel homicidal under certain conditions like;
1. People who clack eating utencils off of teeth.
2. People who talk with full mouths.
3. People who put a crazy amount of food in their mouths.
4. People who do not use basic table etiquette.
5. People who do not say please, thank you and pardon me.
6. People who think of themselves to a rediculous degree as opposed to those around them. (speeding in school zones etc.)
7. Neighbors that do not mow lawns, or take basic care of their property.
Recently I had to sit in a car with someone who was eating peanut M&Ms while waiting for a meeting. They kept clacking the M&M's off of their teeth while eating. I had to leave the car and go on a 15 minute walk as I was getting afraid of what I may do. I swear I am not a lunatic its just....COME ON REALLY!

SnazzyDresser 01-27-2017 05:03 PM

I identify somewhat with 5. And I really can't stand it when workers do it when I'm patronizing their business. Not greeting a customer too. People are just way ruder these days, and I find it a little disheartening, that the world is going that way. But I'm trying not to let it bother me lately, trying anyway. Out of my control, aside from making an effort at treating people well myself.

CLAS 01-27-2017 06:01 PM

8.) People that eat in the buffet line.
9.) People that lick their fingers and then use utensils that we all have to use, ie serving spoon.

Gottalife 01-27-2017 06:17 PM

Before we worry about the splinter in our brothers eye, perhaps we should remove the log from our own.

Talkinandwalkin 01-27-2017 06:22 PM

CLAS. I can not believe number 9. The visuals alone are almost causing me to become a shut in. Gotta I hear you I am a christian as well, however common decency goes along way in a civilized society as I am sure we could all agree.

ScottFromWI 01-27-2017 06:37 PM

Resentment can be a Sobriety killer. Not saying that people shouldn't be polite, but in reality some people aren't. At the end of the day it's their problem, not mine...so letting it get to me won't help anyone.

PhoenixJ 01-27-2017 06:40 PM

I cannot control the behaviour of others, only my own.

pawsgal 01-27-2017 06:53 PM

Maybe it's the whole sobriety thing, but little things get on my nerves that weren't noticeable before. Coworkers who hum or whistle is a big one. Or people who don't use their inside voices in small group conversations. Also toe-tapping and people who never look up from their phones.

Talkinandwalkin 01-27-2017 07:13 PM

I fully realize I have a tendency to take things to an extreme on occasion. However, I do not leave my sobriety up to others and is not the point. If people had a small measure of empathy in the small things the larger topics would probably take care of them selves in the world.

Talkinandwalkin 01-27-2017 07:45 PM

I was just reading an arcticle about the top ten prime rib restaurants in America. I saw one called Lawry's in Los Angeles. On the odd chance has anyone had the pleasure of dining there? I know it is off topic but If so, please let me know if it was any good.

Notimetoloose 01-27-2017 08:11 PM

I am with you on 1 to 5 Talkinandwalkin. I find those to be basic respect for ourselves and those around us. I think they are important basic social skills.
6 & 7, I don't think most people intentionally speed in school zones, we have huge financially and demerit point consequences here in Oz.
I have been fined twice in school zones equalling $700 in fines and a loss of 6 points from my licence. Both times were an hour before school was dismissed for the day and at the same spot.:headbange
Licences start with 12 points, lose them and we can get disqualified from driving for a period of time.
I totally agree with doing everything we can for the safety of our children, unfortunately, it can be a bit of a revenue raiser here in Sydney. (School holidays yesterday and yet we still had 40 kilometre speed limits in school zones.)
....and 7. It is there property and there are many who are overrun with workloads and some who may not be capable.

August252015 01-27-2017 10:19 PM


Originally Posted by pawsgal (Post 6310063)
Maybe it's the whole sobriety thing, but little things get on my nerves that weren't noticeable before. Coworkers who hum or whistle is a big one. Or people who don't use their inside voices in small group conversations. Also toe-tapping and people who never look up from their phones.

I have found the opposite to be true. I was easily irritated all the time when I was drinking. I do have a pickiness/propriety/notice all kind of inclination to me (hello, character defect --> judgmental!) and in sobriety, find it much easier to let things go. Sure, I notice the stuff people do that annoys me (and working as a server, it is crazy the amount of things you listed and worse I see all the time! It can make you wonder what barns people came out of, truthfully)....and I am better at tur ning it around into something funny, or just dismissing the thought or ...

Not my circus, not my monkeys.

Done4today 01-28-2017 01:09 AM

I identify with your post August. I was super irritable with others behaviors, idiosyncrasies, rudeness, etc. I could take your inventory before you even said hello to me. Since I have been in recovery, all these things don't bother me anymore and at times humor me. The ones (bad driving) still bother me gets me to pray for them and my rising resentments go away. The power of prayer and forgiveness have given me freedom, happiness and serenity.

entropy1964 01-28-2017 07:03 AM

I don't really know what to say. I'm sure you're not alone in having idiosyncrasies and obsessions however. And my guess is you do things that annoy other people as well. Such is life.

I try to avoid situations that I know will bother me (it is my problem after all). I never, and I mean never, eat from buffets. I find it nauseating so I don't do it. If I know someone is a slob when they eat, I don't eat with them. I hate the noise of people eating in a theater. I bring my headphones and listen to music (why must people eat in theaters anyway? Disgusting, low quality, expensive crap. Can Americans NOT eat for a couple of hours? Another one of my 'issues'....American obsession with consuming anything that can't run away from them :) ) I usually can ignore it after the movie starts. Ice chewers? Please stop :) Gum chewers? Mints. Please. Hahaha. And the list goes on and on and on.

And its ALL my problem.

Bird615 01-28-2017 07:37 AM


Originally Posted by Done4today (Post 6310266)
I identify with your post August. I was super irritable with others behaviors, idiosyncrasies, rudeness, etc. I could take your inventory before you even said hello to me. Since I have been in recovery, all these things don't bother me anymore and at times humor me. The ones (bad driving) still bother me gets me to pray for them and my rising resentments go away. The power of prayer and forgiveness have given me freedom, happiness and serenity.

This.

I find a lot of annoying things about people too, but I try to remember that the more I decide how things should be and people should behave, the more I set myself up for misery.

It sure isn't easy to refrain from being judgmental but then I often get that thought in my head, "Who the hell am I to judge anyone else?" When I was still drinking and for some time afterward I had the feeling of being either superior to or beneath people, almost never equal. In my recovery program I've learned and am still learning to let stuff like that go, to practice forgiveness with those who irritate me and to live and let live. I now feel more a part of everyone instead of so separate.

Nowadays, I find more and more things in life just not worth getting all riled up about, and because of that I have a certain sense of peace that I've never had before.

Grungehead 01-28-2017 08:30 AM

I identify more with those who said these types of things bothered them more when drinking than in sobriety. Maybe it was from taking a good look at my own character defects while doing the steps. Or maybe it was from listing my resentments and seeing how big of a part they played in fueling my alcoholism. Whatever it was I am now able to put minor annoyances in their proper context, where in the past I used to let a lot of people live rent free in my head for their "transgressions" against me.

Talkinandwalkin 01-28-2017 10:47 AM

Oddly enough none of these things bothered me near as much when I was drinking. The other day I was waiting to pick up my kids at school and a driver was trying to drive around the kids crossing the street as opposed to stoping. I completely and totally lost it. I made the driver stop their car and embarrassed them in front of everyone. Some things in this world just cannot stand in a civilized society. I realize some of the things on my list like the eating issues seem petty and I honestly do not understand it either.

Gottalife 01-30-2017 02:53 AM


Originally Posted by Talkinandwalkin (Post 6310033)
CLAS. I can not believe number 9. The visuals alone are almost causing me to become a shut in. Gotta I hear you I am a christian as well, however common decency goes along way in a civilized society as I am sure we could all agree.

To call me a christian is a compliment I don't deserve. I am more of a gnostic, but I am happy to pinch a bit of good christian wisdom now and again.:)

And common decency does go a long way, though it sometimes seems less common than it should be.

Michael66 01-30-2017 05:27 AM

I was sitting on the train this morning between two people who were continuously rustling sweet packets. I had to pretend to get off at the next station and move to another coach :)

zjw 01-30-2017 06:26 AM

I dont do to well in pulic for simlier reasons. Tho i realize people just cannot help themselves. Something as simple as going down the isle in a grocery store and another patron is standing there reading labels in my way and i'm liek OMFG WTF NOW E#*@. I dont do well with crowds either one big thing i dislike most about other people The odor. yep. I dont find peoples perfumes or deoderants or laundry soaps etc.. pleseant to smell. to be honest I'd rather smell someones BO after hard days work then there deoderant. I dunno why it bothers me so much but it does. I swore off deoderant for the longest time myself over it even but I did find an unscented one that i like that i'll wear now from time to time.

I think the main thing for me tho is just all these other people. That I dont know. It makes me feel awkward liek what if i mistep. what if I offend in advertantly. What if I"m the guy in the way? what if i'm the guy who smells. I even thought the other day as i watch everyone else in the store and think what they look like what do i look like to them?

really all this kinda thinking just stresses me out and keeps me inside or after I"m done in the store i almost routinely sit in my car for a minute or 2 in the parking lot just taking some breathes and thinking happy thoughts.

But no doutb about it people are pretty filty disgusting animals myself included we have foul habits and can be rude and gross.

I dont think any one of us is better then the other in this regard. It is awkward tho and can be frustrating at times.


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