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So it finally happened..

Old 01-24-2017, 06:03 AM
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So it finally happened..

After carefully trying to lie to my Mrs over and over and continue drinking she had enough and kicked me out. I feel like I'm at rock bottom!
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Old 01-24-2017, 06:10 AM
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I've destroyed relationships because of my secretive drinking as I'm sure many on here have.
The trouble with hiding it is they don't understand our horrible behaviour. The best thing I've done recently is come clean to everyone and my dr and believe me it's so much easier than hiding it. Drinking is exhausting!
Is it definitely over? If you seek help, come clean and agreed to do what it takes to get sober and be completely honest with her do you think she might relent?
Best wishes to you
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Old 01-24-2017, 06:15 AM
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i luckily never really had to hide it but since I got sober my AV has this on going fantasy in my head about starting up again and hiding it so no one will know *sigh*.
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Old 01-24-2017, 06:16 AM
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I don't know, it's happened so many times I don't blame her she doesn't need the grief anymore than I do. I hate what I've done to myself and everyone else
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Old 01-24-2017, 06:23 AM
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Now it is time to get some serious help to change. It is the only thing to do. Did you really think you could go on living the lie?
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Old 01-24-2017, 06:48 AM
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Originally Posted by Jtimber View Post
After carefully trying to lie to my Mrs over and over and continue drinking she had enough and kicked me out. I feel like I'm at rock bottom!
I'm sorry t hear that. What do you want to do now?
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Old 01-24-2017, 07:18 AM
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Originally Posted by Jtimber View Post
I feel like I'm at rock bottom!
There's plenty of room to go lower...

...just keep drinking and drugging. You find out.

In you first post you feared losing your wife. That fear didn't keep you sober. And your continued drinking got you this.

Will it be enough to get you sober?

In my own experience, the consequences of my drinking weren't enough to get me sober. It took a decision on my part to quit, action on my part to stay quit, and a plan of recovery to support that decision.
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Old 01-24-2017, 08:25 AM
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Originally Posted by Michael66 View Post
I'm sorry t hear that. What do you want to do now?
Ideally anything I can to get her back. I want more than anything to stop drinking and using coke. I phoned AA and someone is picking me up and taking me to a meeting later
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Old 01-24-2017, 08:31 AM
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Originally Posted by Jtimber View Post
After carefully trying to lie to my Mrs over and over and continue drinking she had enough and kicked me out. I feel like I'm at rock bottom!
im truly sorry to read this, but it could just save your life.

the day after my last drunk my( by then ex.i just hadn't been informed yet) fiancÚ told me some of what I did and said while in a rip snortin blackout drunk the day/night before then tossed me out.

terror, bewilderment, remorse were very strong. that day was the 1st time in my life I looked at my past and saw the wreckage I had done. it was the first time I had fully admitted alcohol was the common denominator in all my problems. I was out of denial.

I was devastated. I felt like a worthless,useless, hopeless,helpless POS. I hated who and what I was.
I can see now the saying:
its darkest before the dawn
is quite true for me. great thing that happened is I surrendered. alcohol had kicked my ass.
and was able to start the process of winning the battle. I did that by going to AA and working the program.
one main criteria for me though:
I did it for me. I had many times in my past I tried to get sober for people,places, and things, and it didn't work.longest I ever managed to stay sober then was about a month.
then back to the same insanity.
this time I wanted to get sober for me. it wasn't easy not thinkin of getting sober for her. yeah, I had hope for us again, but I had to do it for me.
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Old 01-24-2017, 08:33 AM
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I'm glad you've decided to seek more help and I hope you do what you need to do for yourself and your family.
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Old 01-24-2017, 08:35 AM
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Originally Posted by Jtimber View Post
Ideally anything I can to get her back.
did stopping drinking for her work before?

good on ya for getting to a meeting. id suggest finding out if theres a copy of the big book at the meeting you can purchase. then do some reading in it. the first 164 pages tell about alcoholism and the actions we did to recover. after pg 164 are personal stories.
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Old 01-24-2017, 08:44 AM
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Originally Posted by tomsteve View Post
im truly sorry to read this, but it could just save your life.

the day after my last drunk my( by then ex.i just hadn't been informed yet) fiancÚ told me some of what I did and said while in a rip snortin blackout drunk the day/night before then tossed me out.

terror, bewilderment, remorse were very strong. that day was the 1st time in my life I looked at my past and saw the wreckage I had done. it was the first time I had fully admitted alcohol was the common denominator in all my problems. I was out of denial.

I was devastated. I felt like a worthless,useless, hopeless,helpless POS. I hated who and what I was.
I can see now the saying:
its darkest before the dawn
is quite true for me. great thing that happened is I surrendered. alcohol had kicked my ass.
and was able to start the process of winning the battle. I did that by going to AA and working the program.
one main criteria for me though:
I did it for me. I had many times in my past I tried to get sober for people,places, and things, and it didn't work.longest I ever managed to stay sober then was about a month.
then back to the same insanity.
this time I wanted to get sober for me. it wasn't easy not thinkin of getting sober for her. yeah, I had hope for us again, but I had to do it for me.
I've known for a long while that alcohol is the cause of my problems. But she takes me back and once the dust has settled I slip back into the same old routine. Wake up, work, pub, pub, pub lie lie lie
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Old 01-24-2017, 08:57 AM
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Originally Posted by Jtimber View Post
I've known for a long while that alcohol is the cause of my problems. But she takes me back and once the dust has settled I slip back into the same old routine. Wake up, work, pub, pub, pub lie lie lie
mine took me back like that,too.
and I did the same.
until the last time.
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Old 01-24-2017, 10:11 AM
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Originally Posted by Jtimber View Post
Ideally anything I can to get her back. I want more than anything to stop drinking and using coke. I phoned AA and someone is picking me up and taking me to a meeting later
Hitting a meeting sounds like a great idea. There really is only one thing you can do to get her back, and I think you probably know what it is, right?
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Old 01-24-2017, 10:55 AM
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Originally Posted by ScottFromWI View Post
Hitting a meeting sounds like a great idea. There really is only one thing you can do to get her back, and I think you probably know what it is, right?
Stop drinking yes?
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Old 01-24-2017, 11:17 AM
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Originally Posted by Jtimber View Post
Stop drinking yes?
Are you asking if that is the correct answer?
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Old 01-24-2017, 01:51 PM
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I hope you can turn this around and make it a turning point Jtimber

D
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Old 01-24-2017, 02:04 PM
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Originally Posted by Jtimber View Post
I've known for a long while that alcohol is the cause of my problems. But she takes me back and once the dust has settled I slip back into the same old routine. Wake up, work, pub, pub, pub lie lie lie
There may come a time when she doesn't take you back and that's gonna sting. Drinking isn't worth losing your wife over in my opinion.
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Old 01-24-2017, 02:22 PM
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Do you have family or friends that you can confide in? Its embarrassing but people that love you will help you. Confiding to my brother was so difficult but he took me to the doctor, meetings, made sure I didn't forget them. I realise I'm lucky but when I was drinking I thought I was worthless and isolated myself from friends and family for years. But when I asked for help I got it.
If your wife sees you doing the right thing and following doctor and group help she might relent in time. There is always hope.
But do this for you, just think of you for now and be kind to yourself and get as much help as is out there.
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Old 01-24-2017, 02:57 PM
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Sometimes the bridge gets burned. They get sick of it and there are no more chances. So the question is: Do you want to get sober enough to stick with it regardless of what happens between you and her? Because if your answer is "no", then your heart isn't really in it. You're not doing it for you. You're doing it to keep your wife. And that kind of sobriety won't last. It's gotta be all in. I'm going to get sober and find recovery and stay in recovery weather she takes me back or not.
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