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So it finally happened..

Old 01-24-2017, 03:08 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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I second the "get a copy of the big book at your meeting call". I was lucky enough to be given a small copy of the BB at my first meeting. After reading the doctors opinion it became so much clearer as to why I could not stop on "will power". This enables you to understand alcoholism a bit and not be so harsh on yourself, as it's not about will power. Which helps open the door for you to do something about it. Good luck.
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Old 01-24-2017, 10:23 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Jtimber View Post
Ideally anything I can to get her back. I want more than anything to stop drinking and using coke.
There is no magic pill for sobriety. Having the desire, willingness and being open-minded is a good start. If you have a chance to get your wife back, then start by getting yourself back. Living amends comes to mind.
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Old 01-25-2017, 04:33 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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What NewRomanMan said pretty well sums it up.

After my last drunk my girlfriend kicked me to the curb and it devastated me. But before that the fear of losing her, losing my son, losing my job, etc DIDN'T stop me from drinking.

I had to make a decision to commit to recovery regardless of whether I could repair any damaged relationships. It had to be for ME, and not to win anyone back. I was in such an awful, depressed and dark state when she left me. But I doubled-down and got active in my recovery instead of drinking to ease the pain.

The good news for me is that I'm starting to repair those relationships as a result of the work I'm doing. But I'm not fooling myself - I'm certain that my loved ones can tell the difference between earnest, HONEST recovery vs the disingenuous gestures I'd make in the past just to get the heat off my back.
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Old 01-25-2017, 02:43 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by doggonecarl View Post
There's plenty of room to go lower...

...just keep drinking and drugging. You find out.

In you first post you feared losing your wife. That fear didn't keep you sober. And your continued drinking got you this.

Will it be enough to get you sober?

In my own experience, the consequences of my drinking weren't enough to get me sober. It took a decision on my part to quit, action on my part to stay quit, and a plan of recovery to support that decision.
I couldn't have said it better myself. Until you make a mental inventory and actually decide and want to quit, nothing works. The support system you chose has nothing to do with it, Yes, it helps you stay the course, it can be a 12 step, it can be SR forum or something else, but until you really decide that you want to be sober more than drunk. No support group in the world can quit for you. Harsh, yes, but I have learned the hard way. One PI, two DUI's. Robbed twice while drunk, wife threatening to leave. The list goes on and on. Make that decision sooner than later.
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