gzmkci

İll do that sir but i need her before atart over again. We hawe 8 years of relationship its not easy to live even 1 day without her. İts already 2 days i want her back

Berrybean

You know, she may well want to see some commitment from you to getting well before she comes back. We're not exactly alluring when we're bat-**** crazy, selfish, active alcoholics you know. She (and anyone) deserves better. Please don't take this as judgemental. Most of us come to this point knowing that we have treated people we love abysmally. Thing is, it is for US to make right. Not them.

You have a choice here. You could get up, make the decision to take responsibility for yourself and your actions, and go get some help to get sober and start getting well, so you can treat her (and others, including yourself) in a loving and respectful way. Alternatively you can feel sorry for yourself for what your own actions brought about, and mope and drown yourself in alcohol and tears, drinking at her in the hope that you will guilt-trip her into coming to look after you.

I tried the second option for years and years. Got away with it as well for a long time. But it never made me happy. The first option was much harder to do at the beginning, but it was worth it as it has led to a complete change in perspective. The world is a brighter place for me nowadays. It's like someone juggled with the focus and colour settings and everything's looking clearer and brighter and more vivid. I know other alcoholics in recovery who've said they feel the same.

I hope you take this experience as a learning opportunity and decide to make this your new start, and one where you will get back, and keep, that girl you love so much and can make her happy and proud of you, and you learn to feel happy in, and proud of, yourself.

RecklessEric

Friend, stating you need her before starting again is a poor excuse for drinking. If drinking is behind the damage in your relationship, do you honestly think you can start to repair it while drinking?

Delilah1

Hi and Welcome do SR,

You are still very young, I stopped drinking for good at 45, wish I was smart enough to stop at 30.

Give your girlfriend some time, and focus on staying sober. This website is a great support, take some time to read and post.

You can do this.

ScottFromWI

I know it's hard gzmicki, but unfortunately you might have to accept that she's not coming back until you get sober. It doesn't seem fair of course, but the reality is that there is nothing you can say that will undo what you've done, and you are responsible for your behavior and words, even if you didn't mean to say what you said.

The only way out of the hole you've dug is to get sober. And there are plenty of places you can go to get help doing that...you just have to make the decision to do it.

gzmkci

Wish me luck ppl, she started to talk back to me again. İll do my best after that.

BrendaChenowyth

Don't make this about another person. Get better because you want your life back.

ScottFromWI

I would suggest you do your best before "that". If you don't address your drinking now it won't matter what you say to her.

RecklessEric

Are you as focused on sobriety as your girlfriend?
You need to be.

lostyouth

I know the feeling man. I'm 30 years old myself, got a DUI at 25 after years of heavy drinking, haven't driven since and just recently stopped drinking. I messed up my recent relationship too because my girlfriend had stuff going for her that I didn't (job prospects, driving prospects). Jealousy is a bitch.

It can get better, but it's going to take time and effort. I need to practise that same advice myself.

gregknight

A prayer from me, gzmkci. You are young. Life is not over. You have a whole life to live in sobriety if you work it.

MsCooterBrown

Each time there is a crack like this in a relationship the trust level goes down a notch. I hope you can put ALL your effort into getting sober before you try to continue with your girlfriend. Only so many times of drunken screw ups before all trust is gone and you have no more chances with her. Make this about you. Then come together. I wish you the best.

Delilah1

How are you doing?