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Is it too late?

Old 01-11-2017, 02:44 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Well you can have all that too, 0/10, would not recommend. But, that is where the road leads, no choice in destination. There is only one alternative to that hell that awaits. Are you ready to make your plan about continuing to use alcohol?
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Old 01-11-2017, 02:50 PM
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It is never too late, Snazzy!

Granted, I am younger than you at 43, but I hope I never go gentle into that good night. There is too much to do, see and experience on this beautiful earth while I have days left on it. Let's see, if I live to be 100, that's over 20,000 days of newness and possibility.

I take much inspiration from people who are in their "old age" but don't seem to recognise it. To zjw's post, I give you Ed Whitlock, who at 85 years old is still running sub 4:00 marathons.

Ed Whitlock: The 85-year-old marathon record breaker - BBC Sport

He ran his first marathon at 44.

Or how about Ernestine Shepherd who is an 80 year old bodybuilder. She took it up at your age ... 56.

MEET ERNESTINE | Ernestine Shepherd

So I think it's a valid question. Too late for what?

Even if bodybuilding or marathons are not your thing, at least these wonderful individuals prove that there is still a world of possibility beyond the age when most of us think our lives are descending into some sort of inevitable decline and conclusion.

I'm not trying to give you a hard time Snazzy. I'm just hoping to shift your perspective at least a little so that you see that the question "is it too late?" could be framed as "what can I do with all this time I have left"?
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Old 01-11-2017, 02:52 PM
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I s life worth it? For me it is.
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Old 01-11-2017, 02:56 PM
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I appreciate y'all talking to me about this, I really do.
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Old 01-11-2017, 03:02 PM
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Quit drinking and eat right and get plenty of exercise and you will find 56 the new 30. I am 57 and feel like I still have many good years. I run, hike in the Rockies, referee soccer and feel as good as ever, though muscle aches are now bone aches. I have probably really experienced more in life since 50 or for sure have not stopped having adventures. None of this would have been possible if I drank. I have had some slips, but just brief ones over the years. Sobriety is pretty easy now. Just seems ridiculous to drink. Nonsense. Again, though without being sober, I could not be doing the things I have been. I honestly think I have only just begun. I look forward to many more sober productive and adventurous years.
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Old 01-11-2017, 03:05 PM
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Originally Posted by totfit View Post
Quit drinking and eat right and get plenty of exercise and you will find 56 the new 30. I am 57 and feel like I still have many good years. I run, hike in the Rockies, referee soccer and feel as good as ever, though muscle aches are now bone aches. I have probably really experienced more in life since 50 or for sure have not stopped having adventures. None of this would have been possible if I drank. I have had some slips, but just brief ones over the years. Sobriety is pretty easy now. Just seems ridiculous to drink. Nonsense. Again, though without being sober, I could not be doing the things I have been. I honestly think I have only just begun. I look forward to many more sober productive and adventurous years.
This is exactly what I need, I need a new way to look at 56. I've always liked your posts, totfit.
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Old 01-11-2017, 03:10 PM
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Originally Posted by SnazzyDresser View Post
This is exactly what I need, I need a new way to look at 56
How about just a different way of looking at life in general and not worrying so much about how old you are? People re-invent their lives at any age. Some young people use their age as an excuse to keep drinking because they are young and invincible. Some "old" people use it as an excuse because they don't think it's worth the effort late in life. Some middle age people use middle age as an excuse because they need alcohol to "cope" with middle age worries.

Bottom line, I don't think your age has anything to do with it to be honest...it's your addiction trying to find an excuse to drink.
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Old 01-11-2017, 03:15 PM
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another 50 something here I will be 58 (!!!) in a few short weeks and just celebrated 2 years sober.

What if you still have a good run left in you? What if you live another 20, 30 or even 40 years? You could have a lot of great living left yet to do.

If you decide to pick up again, you are pretty much guaranteed to have the "crazy physical consequences" of drinking.

Rooting for you SnazzyDresser
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Old 01-11-2017, 03:17 PM
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Thank you, Rose. I just may.
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Old 01-11-2017, 04:29 PM
  # 30 (permalink)  
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Snazzy,

you have no doubt you cn live sober now, you write.....so maybe i'm just imagining that your OP is a roundabout way of going in the direction of "it's too late, so i might as well drink; no point, really, since it's sooooooo late!"

i'm writing this at 61years of age.
never regretted getting sober

is it enough, you ask?
very much a different question.
no, for me, it wsn't enough. I saw there was more and better than "just" abstinence.
but if i hadn't gotten and stayed sober first, i would have never really noticed that there's more. and i most certainly wouldn't be on a deeper path. change? yes, slowly.
possibly, you're not doubting if it's too late as much as you're scared of what this sobriety-thing, ongoing, might entail? where it might lead you? what you might find you need to do?
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Old 01-11-2017, 04:40 PM
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Good post, fini. Yeah, I'm really doubting myself about being able to get something good going now, as good as I'd like. I remember how good it was when I was younger. I have an insanely great memory for stuff, and I think that makes me naturally more nostalgic than I should be.

And I was a pistol when I was younger, I'll tell you what.
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Old 01-11-2017, 04:47 PM
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I've lived more and done more in the last ten years sober than I did in the previous 20 years drunk.

Nothing to stop you from doing the same SD, no matter how old you are

D
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Old 01-11-2017, 05:36 PM
  # 33 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by SnazzyDresser View Post
I've had a good run at life in many ways. Was married for 20 years, lots of good married times. Had adventures when I was younger, awesome adventures. Learned a lot along the way.
I feel like I'm seeing this a lot today!

Why would you not want to get sober and see how those adventures continue? You're honestly not that old. I go out and have adventures with people well into their 70's and even a few in their 80's. Sounds like a better option than sitting inside drinking alone for the next 40 years!

Honestly I think life can be even more enjoyable later on. You've learned to be less concerned with what others think, and have had plenty of time to find the things you REALLY enjoy. Why not take the time to do that now?
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Old 01-11-2017, 05:42 PM
  # 34 (permalink)  
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Why would I not go out and kill it now? It's like 56 year olds are valued the same as 20-30 year olds! No, not so much. And I've changed too, my body, my brain. I'm not the same. I still have value and skills, but I'm not the same.

Yes, I can enjoy myself in some ways. That's a given. And that beats being dead. But alas, I can still get quite a bit of pleasure out of alcohol. Even though it's bad for me long-term.
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Old 01-11-2017, 06:06 PM
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I think the 'pleasure' of being drunk pales beside real joy and real pleasure - but a lot of people don't give themselves the chance to experience that real stuff.

There's also the fact that there's no such thing as a free lunch.

The longer we drink the longer it takes for us to bounce back.

The less the 'pleasure' too...you don't want to end up having to drink to function, hating every mouthful.

Thats a terrible and lonely place to be...but it's an inevitable one.

Lets not mince words here - if you're fighting this hard to keep even the idea of drinking in your life, you're addicted right?

Sure I could have done more when I was young and fit,
I didn't.

Pining for a Camelot that never was is playing right into the AVs hands.

D
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Old 01-11-2017, 06:12 PM
  # 36 (permalink)  
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Much truth there, Dee. The more I drink for pleasure, the less I end up getting over time. And yes, I'm addicted to alcohol. I'm not pining for a Camelot so much as maybe trying to make the best of a bad situation. Best in relative terms.

Never liked JFK either.
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Old 01-11-2017, 06:18 PM
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I live each day now like it was my last - I think for me that's the right setting to have...I do a lot with 24 hours...much more than I did at 20 30 or 40

D
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Old 01-11-2017, 06:30 PM
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Snazzy- 2 things come to mind. A friend of mine that is 75 has a saying, "My best memories are ahead of me." I always liked that one.

Also, maybe make it a goal to be "younger next year?" Like the book title?

I'm newly sober, so I'm not a veteran giving advice here, but I thought about those things when reading your post.
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Old 01-11-2017, 06:52 PM
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I don't know who, but my first time around here someone said this and it struck a note with me:

" In the end, it always comes down to
whether you feel the need to defend your position or not. Taking a defensive stance points to the fact that a) you feel under siege and b) you might not be so sure about whether or not you yourself actually feel that what you are doing is right. For example. I've never had to defend a walk in the forest, listening to birds and enjoying the fresh air. I've had to defend having a fourth hamburger in one sitting. I've never had to defend helping my grandmother. I've had to defend not showing up when I promised, because I was drunk or hungover.
So if you feel like defending your position, take a step back and try figuring out what the real problem is."


Maybe not to any extreme, but it seems like you're trying to defend what a good idea it would be to keep drinking. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you came here so we can talk you all out of it but if you had to come on here maybe deep down you know it's not too late?
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Old 01-11-2017, 06:53 PM
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56 better not be too late to become and stay sober, that's how old I was when I finally, after trying for many years, started my sober journey.
I drank on and off from 18 years old and yes, I was worried it was too late to avoid the negative consequences of drinking. Truthfully, there are consequences, but I am still alive and sober, more able to deal with whatever comes my way...Being drunk never solved any problems for me, it didn't make me younger, smarter or anything. It is never too late to deal with addiction, as long as you are alive...take care
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