SoberChicNJ

Sobriety sure puts a whole lot into perspective. It's sad to say that I have 2 significant relationships where I lived with them and I have barely any recollection of it. How can that be?

I mean I remember feeling some kind of love, enough that I made the conscious decision to share 2 years of my life with each of them. Where did those 4 years go? If you ask me what their favorite color is or what their favorite food is I couldn't tell you.

I remember our break-ups were bad and that I was depressed and sad but I feel now that was only because I was once again alone and not really about missing that person just the companionship. The break-ups were always a wonderful reason to go on a binge and get wasted.

My last relationship ended in July 2016 and my friend asked me if I missed him. I had to pause and then it just came to me... NO I don't because I barely remember him. I mean I lived with the guy for 2 years and I knew him for 10 years as a friend. How do I not care? How do I feel nothing? Did Alcohol make a cold emotionless void of person when it comes to relationships?

I love my children and my family. I will cry at the thought of anything happening to them but yet these 2 men whom I shared my life with mean not a thing to me. Is it the alcoholic daze I was in, were those feelings fake? Has anyone experienced these kind of feelings while in relationships during your drinking career?

I also thought about this while making my list in AA. Any man I dated or met during this time is a fog to me.

BrendaChenowyth

I LOVE the line in your signature SO much!

I can count four serious relationships I had in my twenties, and yes.. looking back, wine was the inconspicuous third party in every one of them. I can only think of one thing I liked about them (well, three of them) and it makes me rather shallow..

Yeah, they say when you get sober, you're the emotional age you were when you started drinking?

SoberChicNJ

Thanks BrendaChenowyth!

I wonder if in time memories come to you. It's so bizarre to me.

Hevyn

Hi SoberChic. I definitely can relate. In the last years of my drinking career I was zombie-ish, and foggy all the time. It's frightening to think I worked, kept house, even traveled - all while in a sort of coma. It was not only sad - it was dangerous. I'm so glad we aren't living that way anymore.

Mklove

I know It's a cliche that time flies........but it flies away in a different way when you can't remember it. Thank god for pictures. I made some very serious and dangerous decisions with men with wine or champagne being the place holder. No mor, no more, so glad there's no more.

sortofhomecomin

Was this bloke someone you drank with that became a partner?

Maybe try to separate your views about relationship with booze to your views about your relationship with your ex?

Sunny27

A lot of my relationships when I was drinking are a fog as well. I couldn't even really remember many conversations, although I do remember a few arguments ha!

I don't remember much from my drinking days, period. I was a wine drinker and God knows how many brain cells I killed off.

I am in a relationship 3 years now, a happy one, and was sober for 2 years before we met. I remember all of this one, which is great as it's the only one worth remembering. 😁😁

August252015

My last serious relationship is definitely not a fog- but it had alcohol as a huge component to it. Long story there but I will just say that my judgment was very clouded.

In a number (how many?) of lesser relationships, alcohol also played a role or was basically the only reason I got into it- sort of drifted into it, usually. A few dates or sleeping together and all of a sudden....relationship. Ugh.

It is so much better- infinitely- to have a real, sober, deep, committed, clear relationship where both of us are 100% in.

Bunny211

Hahahaha yeah.
Oh yes. I can so relate.
After I got sober I had a couple of guys calling me...wanting to reconnect. I had only hazy recollections of dating them.