Days of wine and relationships ! Sobriety sure puts a whole lot into perspective. It's sad to say that I have 2 significant relationships where I lived with them and I have barely any recollection of it. How can that be? I mean I remember feeling some kind of love, enough that I made the conscious decision to share 2 years of my life with each of them. Where did those 4 years go? If you ask me what their favorite color is or what their favorite food is I couldn't tell you. I remember our break-ups were bad and that I was depressed and sad but I feel now that was only because I was once again alone and not really about missing that person just the companionship. The break-ups were always a wonderful reason to go on a binge and get wasted. My last relationship ended in July 2016 and my friend asked me if I missed him. I had to pause and then it just came to me... NO I don't because I barely remember him. I mean I lived with the guy for 2 years and I knew him for 10 years as a friend. How do I not care? How do I feel nothing? Did Alcohol make a cold emotionless void of person when it comes to relationships? I love my children and my family. I will cry at the thought of anything happening to them but yet these 2 men whom I shared my life with mean not a thing to me. Is it the alcoholic daze I was in, were those feelings fake? Has anyone experienced these kind of feelings while in relationships during your drinking career? I also thought about this while making my list in AA. Any man I dated or met during this time is a fog to me. :thinkerg: |
I LOVE the line in your signature SO much! I can count four serious relationships I had in my twenties, and yes.. looking back, wine was the inconspicuous third party in every one of them. I can only think of one thing I liked about them (well, three of them) and it makes me rather shallow.. Yeah, they say when you get sober, you're the emotional age you were when you started drinking? |
Thanks BrendaChenowyth! I wonder if in time memories come to you. It's so bizarre to me. |
Hi SoberChic. I definitely can relate. In the last years of my drinking career I was zombie-ish, and foggy all the time. It's frightening to think I worked, kept house, even traveled - all while in a sort of coma. It was not only sad - it was dangerous. I'm so glad we aren't living that way anymore. |
I know It's a cliche that time flies........but it flies away in a different way when you can't remember it. Thank god for pictures. I made some very serious and dangerous decisions with men with wine or champagne being the place holder. No mor, no more, so glad there's no more. |
Originally Posted by SoberChicNJ
(Post 6281431)
My last relationship ended in July 2016 and my friend asked me if I missed him. I had to pause and then it just came to me... NO I don't because I barely remember him. I mean I lived with the guy for 2 years and I knew him for 10 years as a friend. How do I not care? How do I feel nothing? Did Alcohol make a cold emotionless void of person when it comes to relationships? Maybe try to separate your views about relationship with booze to your views about your relationship with your ex? |
A lot of my relationships when I was drinking are a fog as well. I couldn't even really remember many conversations, although I do remember a few arguments ha! I don't remember much from my drinking days, period. I was a wine drinker and God knows how many brain cells I killed off. I am in a relationship 3 years now, a happy one, and was sober for 2 years before we met. I remember all of this one, which is great as it's the only one worth remembering. 😁😁 |
My last serious relationship is definitely not a fog- but it had alcohol as a huge component to it. Long story there but I will just say that my judgment was very clouded. In a number (how many?) of lesser relationships, alcohol also played a role or was basically the only reason I got into it- sort of drifted into it, usually. A few dates or sleeping together and all of a sudden....relationship. Ugh. It is so much better- infinitely- to have a real, sober, deep, committed, clear relationship where both of us are 100% in. |
Hahahaha yeah. Oh yes. I can so relate. After I got sober I had a couple of guys calling me...wanting to reconnect. I had only hazy recollections of dating them. |
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