The lies we tell ourselves
 

- Everyone knows vodka is the alco's drink, if you avoid that you'll be fine.
- Stick to beer and wine and avoid spirits, you'll never develop a problem.
- You're not an alcoholic unless you wake up in the morning craving a drink.
- My uncle/father/famous celeb/actor/musician drank more than me and he lived to be 80.
- The fact that me and my drinking bud were among the first to arrive in the pub at 5:30pm and are the only two still in the pub at 11:30 pm and I'm trying to persuade him to go on to a nighclub doesn't mean we're alcoholics, it just means the rest of them are boring squares.
-I'm not an alco, I'm a sporty type of person that enjoys a drink (even though I haven't played the sport in decades and only watch it on tv while drinking ,or attend games as a spectator and have beer before, during, and after the match.)
-I don't have a problem, I never drink on weekdays.
-How could I be an alco, I never drink during the month of January each year.

Maybe others can think of more?

You discuss the possiblity that they are secretly poisoning the beer with your buddy because you both realize your having panic attacks like crazy all the time now a days.

I've not lost a job yet.
Everybody I know drinks so the health guidelines must be too strict.
I don't drink and drive so I must be a very responsible drunk if I am one.
I stopped drinking for a few days once and I managed it ok.....

I never drink in the morning.
I stop after dinner (but started at 4 and dinner ends at 8)
It's only wine.
It's only beer.

I'm just going to have a few beers tonight.

I used to enjoy stories about out of control people that consumed large amounts of drugs and alcohol on a regular basis - or anyone that was out of control or reckless in general.

It made me feel like I wasn't so bad.

In my head, "It's perfectly normal for a forty-three year old man to be hungover at work on a Thursday morning."

Unfortunately, I'm still in that phase to an extent. I googled the actor Dennis Hopper the other night mainly just to read about his alcoholic consumption.

I am forty-three, so that one hits home for me particularly.

"It's perfectly normally for a forty-three year old man to spend his way through a comparatively generous voluntary redundancy package from a past employer when in fact he was damn lucky not to have been fired from multiple jobs, or in prison, or dead."

"After all, I deserve them. I have a stressful job, it involves punching numbers into a screen and dealing with office politics. And my boss is very rude to me."

"Yes, I sometimes drink and drive, but I'm not one of those crazy boy-racer types, I'm a careful driver".

My livers not like other peoples livers.

If I carefully and gingerly sip my drinks there will be less damage to my body.
Thanks for the reminder!

"what the hell I will drink my 9th beer - it isn't that much on a work night, I had 10 beers and a few shots yesterday and I made it to work today"

"I'm going to drink just this one last time, but tomorrow I'm quitting for good!"

I only ever drink in the evenings and not everyday. I don't consider myself an alcoholic and think that the label is potentially damaging and a barrier to reaching out for help.

RE
All alcohol is addictive, a unit of vodka is the same as a unit of beer. 1 Shot 37% proof is roughly the same as half a pint of beer 4% proof. People who drink beer or wine can easily drink the same amount of units as someone who drinks spirits, they may drink in greater volume. Stronger drinks dehydrate more because they don't have the water ratio to make-up for the water loss.
You can be addicted and have a drinking problem without being an alcoholic. In my book, an alcoholic is someone who is physically-dependent, gets withdrawal symptoms when stopping, and engages in a practice called 'relief drinking'; drinking specifically to ward off withdrawal symptoms. What I disagree with is the use of the term for less serious degree of problem-drinking. I disagree with the binary view that one is either an alcoholic or not. Lots of people feel the same way.
That is certainly not a helpful thought to focus on if trying to overcome a craving I agree. Although there are people who can drink a lot, not be addicted and be perfectly healthy, it doesn't mean that you are like them. After-all we don't know about the overall happiness of those people. A more important question to as is how well their emotional needs are being met and why aren't they addicted?
I would agree that this is unhealthy. The 'they're boring square types' narrative is also a common way people will try to pressurize you to drink when you don't want to.

it wont happen to me.

" Im fine. I can drink most anyone under the table "

"I have to be at work tomorrow morning, so four is the limit."

"O.K...five."
"Wait...six."
"Well really, what is the difference between six and seven? It's not like my body can actually count. Numbering is a mental construct.

---" HOLY CRAP! I had eleven. Better get to bed RIGHT NOW. EVERY second counts!"

"Hey, that red stuff in the toilet looks pretty cool. Holy shi:# you're throwing up blood! All right calm down , calm down. You just need to lay off the vodka for a while. "That was me at age 27. Drank for. 30 more years .

I have to say, as a newbie, I found this comment slightly triggering. Completely my problem, not yours! But my first thought was, "Ooh, so this guy is saying that because I didn't get the shakes or anything when I quit, that means I'm not an alcoholic. Maybe I could get away with having a drink or two after all."

If I'm sensible and honest with myself, I can recognise that it doesn't matter what word/noun/label you use - if you can't stop after one; if you get anxious whenever you're forced to spend the night without alcohol; if you promise tonight will be the last time, then it isn't....then you have an issue that likely needs attention.

NB: According to the dictionary, alcoholism is the continued excessive or compulsive use of alcoholic drinks. It's a pretty broad term...