Doug39

I started out like this too. But as time went on the hours of the day I wasn't drinking I felt like crap - so I drank more and more.

Eventually the only time I felt good or "normal" was when I had alcohol in my system. During the last 10 - 15 years I was hungover and miserable every single day from the time I woke up until I had my first drink. That is no way to live.

JeffreyAK

Too much is when drinking causes problems of any kind, and you keep drinking anyways.

But in the US, the standard limit for "moderate" drinking is 2/day for men, 1 for women, https://www.niaaa.nih.gov/alcohol-he...binge-drinking A binge is 5 or more on the same occasion. DSM-5 has a standardized test to see where you are on the alcohol use disorder spectrum, if you answer honestly, https://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publicati...et/dsmfact.pdf Most people don't need to count drinks to stay well in the light/moderate categories, so the fact that you're counting suggests a problem.

I was a binge drinker for many years, Friday and Saturday nights only, not too extreme but often more than 5. Eventually (in my 40's) it became a lot more than 5, regularly, but the real tipping point was when I started drinking during the week. Then, it wasn't just two days where I might binge, it became seven, and down the hole I went. That process was also progressive, and it took 4 years before I was off to rehab.

ScottFromWI

We all have hope. The fact that you are here asking questions is a good sign. You also have awareness of the issue which is a good sign too. You are still young and have lots of time to make a change, I hope you can make a choice that is good for your future.

Doug39

I always had this idea that since both sides of my family had a history of alcoholism that it was my destiny to be an alcoholic.

I really didn't start drinking heavily until I was 25. Before the age of 25 I always had anxiety and feel inadequate; once I started drinking heavily I felt I found the missing puzzle piece to my life.

Alcoholics will tell themselves anything to justify their out of control behavior.

AlcoholicJak

This touches close to home for me. When you say "all bets are off" that is exactly how I am with alcohol.

I've ruined some great relationships in my life due to alcohol. Heck, the girl of my dreams walked out on me because I said some horrible things I could never take back while I was drunk. I've made some pretty dumb mistakes in my life and they all can be rooted to me getting blitzed. I would like to quit but on my own terms. I don't want to reach out to a program because I feel I can control my own life. What led to your own success?

ScottFromWI

Do you see the contradiction in the 2 statements above with your previous statement about losing control of your life because of drinking? It's quite common for addicts/alcoholics to want to "do it on their own" or "control" the situation because your addiction knows that you cannot do so. The very essence of addiction is the loss of control, so trying to solve the problem through your own control is usually fruitless.

This is a great thread you should take some time and read on how folks have gone about it

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

There are many, many ways to get and stay sober - and each person needs to find a combination that works. But none of them work without initially accepting/acknowledging that it's not something you can just control or use "willpower" to change.

shortstop81

From one Scandinavian to another.

To be honest, I wanted to quit on my own terms too. I always made some initial half-assed attempts at going to support groups, but usually drifted off on my own. That stubborness resulted in about 10 years of trying quit drinking with limited success. It was soul-sucking, to say the least to be stuck in that cycle.

I know it's not what you want to hear, but for me it didn't start to stick until I changed it up and actually committed to a recovery group (AA). I also spend time here at SR every day and read books and listen to podcasts about recovery. It may sound excessive, but right now it's keeping me sober in early recovery and it's a helluva lot better than being drunk and/or hungover.

I need the support system. I need the accountability. I find comfort in these things, even though I fought like hell against them for years.

Glad you're here and that you're asking questions. Best wishes!

JamesfrmEngland

You're the same age as me. I love alcohol and I love being drunk. I just realised if I want to get drunk it comes with a price and as I've got older the price is becoming heavier, so for now I have quit alcohol completely. I could have a drink every weekend or whatever but my experience tells me I'll do something stupid or my drinking will spread to other days of the week again or get more in amount. If alcohols costing you more than money then you've got a big problem.

Mountainmanbob

It was hard for me to moderate my drinking for long.
Worked best when I altogether stopped.
I held a job for 32 years straight but,
after retirement my drinking wheels really fell off.
MB

Ken33xx

I never had any success on my own.

Now, I know people who have stopped drinking on their own but this was not the case for me. The cravings/thoughts of a drink almost always won out.

Here's what ended up happening...
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post6270839

Dee74

Not trying to be a wise guy but I think when you come looking for a place like SR you've probably reached 'too much' ?

I had years of 'mostly keeping it under control except when I don't'...and then the times I couldn't became the norm...

Some really good advice here Jak - good to have you join us

heartcore

How much is too much?
If alcohol use leaves you feeling shame & regret, it's too much.
If alcohol use is damaging your possibilities, it's too much.
If alcohol use is causing you to do or say things that you "would never" do or say sober, it's too much.

It's that simple.

SWTPEA61

Jak
Im in the medical field i went to work everyday after drinking 2 bottles of wine the night before. I never missed a day of work.
I first started by drinking a couple drinks on the weekend and progressed to everyday until it progessed to 2-21/2 bottles a night. I felt sick all the time. What im trying to get across is .....it starts out small and increases to a big problem.
You don't have to hit rock bottom to realize you have a problem, I quit with my career still intact no DUI'S , no emergency room visits.
Jak quit now before it is a big problem.

soberlicious

Lots of people do quit on their own terms. That's what led to my success. I decided that I did not want to live that way any more and that no matter what...hell or high water...I was not going to drink again. and I didn't. and I never will.

Some ppl use a method called the Addictive Voice Recognition Technique (AVRT) to separate from that part of themselves that wants to drink at all costs. You might want to research it.

tbh, your drinking does not bode will for the future. But you already know that without asking, don't you?

Mklove

While the outside of a drinkers body usually looks okay for a long time, inside the body the liver and rest of the body is getting battered. Excellent that you are younger and will have such great rehealing.

BrendaChenowyth

The CDC defines moderate drinking as one drink a day for us ladies, and two for men. I think that seems very reasonable. Binge drinking is four or more for women, and five or more for men. That also sounds about right.
I generally never stopped at one, I would have a minimum of four, often ten.
(ouch, my liver just said)

Pondlady

Risky Drinking l HBO Documentary Films l HBO

If you've got access to HBO, check out this documentary. The show documents 4 people and looks at the risks associated with their drinking. The first person is a young professional, who indulges socially in binge drinking....you might relate.

tomsteve

i drank because of my german heritage. also for my irish heritage. and French.
if i knew more i could say that's why i drank,too.

but its a lie. it has nothing to do with my heritage.
i drank because i was an alcoholic.

youre not doomed because of your heritage, and even you admit that by saying, " i THINK im doomed...."
just some screwed up thinkin about it

there is hope and its available to anyone.
however

hope alone doesn't get a person sober. theres gotta be action- more than just putting the plug in the jug.

Algorithm

AlcoholicJak,

I pains me to admit it, but Dee is 100% correct. By the time I started reading up on alcoholism, I had already reached too much, but I didn't think so at the time. I convinced myself that I could still get away with it for a little bit longer, and this turned into over a decade longer.

I believe you already know perfectly well that you're drinking too much, that drinking is causing you big problems, and that you're afraid those problems could get much worse. They did for me, simply because I didn't pay attention to my creeping apprehension that something was not quite right.

I will simply encourage you to pay attention to that nagging feeling that something is not quite right when it comes to your use of alcohol.

Contrary to what you may read here or elsewhere, most people quit drinking entirely on their own, given sufficient motivation (lots of pain and suffering), and sufficient trial and error. Many others die the hard way before that motivation, often called a 'bottom', ever arrives, or before learning from trial and error.

If you really want to quit on your own, without a formal program, I would encourage you to look into Rational Recovery and AVRT. There is more information in the secular connections forum.

AVRT won't provide the motivation to quit, but it is based on the common experience of thousands of people who quit on their own, which was distilled into a teachable technique by someone who also quit on his own. It is not necessary to quit an addiction, but it can save you a lot of trial and error.

Delilah1

I think if alcohol is negatively impacting your life then it is too much.

I know that I found this site while googling concerns about my drinking. If you found it the same way, that is a sign that your alcohol use is probably causing some sort of problems in your life.

I spent three years alternating between periods of sobriety, and periods when I attempted and failed to moderate my drinking. I finally said enough, and have been sober for a just over a year now. I am so much happier in all aspects of my life, and even the difficult days are easier to handle.