Any good excuses?
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Back to everyone's corners with the sniping, maybe?
Trying- everyone is not on a high horse- we just all have our opinions or situations and some of us are more adamant about some of the scenarios we face as alcoholics.
I, for one, think white lies are ok in instances where it fits. That's your judgmental call. The solution you used isn't a bad one per se; for me, it would make me think of times I did the reverse- ordered club soda and lime and went to tell the waiter I wanted vodka soda.
One thought that occurred to me is that you are making (perhaps, just my read here) a lot of assumptions about what your uncle wouldn't accept- ie, a change in your behavior. And, perhaps, it is not as important to him to have a drink with you as you think - rather, your company is more important, since you obviously have a close relationship.
I tend to go the "I don't drink" route of some version- and deftly change the subject. I AM of the opinion that we don't owe ANYONE an explanation or reason, though it is often natural to feel that we do.
I also do not spend time with ANYONE who wouldn't/doesn't accept that I don't drink. Fortunately, I don't have any family I have to worry about on that end- and I would frankly be put off by THEM if they had a problem with me not drinking.
Ultimately, you decide what to do.
To your final point about black and white....well, drinking or not is just that for me and for a lot of us. If it is that simple, there is no grey. It's just how you handle a life or death, black and white issue.
Trying- everyone is not on a high horse- we just all have our opinions or situations and some of us are more adamant about some of the scenarios we face as alcoholics.
I, for one, think white lies are ok in instances where it fits. That's your judgmental call. The solution you used isn't a bad one per se; for me, it would make me think of times I did the reverse- ordered club soda and lime and went to tell the waiter I wanted vodka soda.
One thought that occurred to me is that you are making (perhaps, just my read here) a lot of assumptions about what your uncle wouldn't accept- ie, a change in your behavior. And, perhaps, it is not as important to him to have a drink with you as you think - rather, your company is more important, since you obviously have a close relationship.
I tend to go the "I don't drink" route of some version- and deftly change the subject. I AM of the opinion that we don't owe ANYONE an explanation or reason, though it is often natural to feel that we do.
I also do not spend time with ANYONE who wouldn't/doesn't accept that I don't drink. Fortunately, I don't have any family I have to worry about on that end- and I would frankly be put off by THEM if they had a problem with me not drinking.
Ultimately, you decide what to do.
To your final point about black and white....well, drinking or not is just that for me and for a lot of us. If it is that simple, there is no grey. It's just how you handle a life or death, black and white issue.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: California
Posts: 11
He sounds like a best friend of yours, while honesty isn't always the best policy with this specific situation it comes down to what you really feel in yourself on what you should tell him.
Personally me, I would just tell him the truth. If I've known them for 41 years and we're best friends like that. It would be difficult for me to do however, because I understand that you don't want to mess up being his drinking companion, but that's out of ones control. And to me, it would be better than playing it off. I always feel better when I'm honest. Then I would feel like I'm giving him a sincere reason why vs some made up reason, to some one I really care about. It would make me feel good because I am being open and honest with some one who means a lot to me.
I would say some thing like--
"Uncle, I wanted to tell you some thing, I really want to have a drink with you, but I can't anymore because I quit drinking"
But that's just me, it's up to you on how you feel you should handle the situation.
And if you're thinking that you're not putting him first and are being selfish, you're already being selfless by quitting the drink. Because over all too much alcohol is a selfish decision.
Personally me, I would just tell him the truth. If I've known them for 41 years and we're best friends like that. It would be difficult for me to do however, because I understand that you don't want to mess up being his drinking companion, but that's out of ones control. And to me, it would be better than playing it off. I always feel better when I'm honest. Then I would feel like I'm giving him a sincere reason why vs some made up reason, to some one I really care about. It would make me feel good because I am being open and honest with some one who means a lot to me.
I would say some thing like--
"Uncle, I wanted to tell you some thing, I really want to have a drink with you, but I can't anymore because I quit drinking"
But that's just me, it's up to you on how you feel you should handle the situation.
And if you're thinking that you're not putting him first and are being selfish, you're already being selfless by quitting the drink. Because over all too much alcohol is a selfish decision.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 69
Originally Posted by FranciscoM 
He sounds like a best friend of yours, while honesty isn't always the best policy with this specific situation it comes down to what you really feel in yourself on what you should tell him.
Personally me, I would just tell him the truth. If I've known them for 41 years and we're best friends like that. It would be difficult for me to do however, because I understand that you don't want to mess up being his drinking companion, but that's out of ones control. And to me, it would be better than playing it off. I always feel better when I'm honest. Then I would feel like I'm giving him a sincere reason why vs some made up reason, to some one I really care about. It would make me feel good because I am being open and honest with some one who means a lot to me.
I would say some thing like--
"Uncle, I wanted to tell you some thing, I really want to have a drink with you, but I can't anymore because I quit drinking"
But that's just me, it's up to you on how you feel you should handle the situation.
And if you're thinking that you're not putting him first and are being selfish, you're already being selfless by quitting the drink. Because over all too much alcohol is a selfish decision.
Personally me, I would just tell him the truth. If I've known them for 41 years and we're best friends like that. It would be difficult for me to do however, because I understand that you don't want to mess up being his drinking companion, but that's out of ones control. And to me, it would be better than playing it off. I always feel better when I'm honest. Then I would feel like I'm giving him a sincere reason why vs some made up reason, to some one I really care about. It would make me feel good because I am being open and honest with some one who means a lot to me.
I would say some thing like--
"Uncle, I wanted to tell you some thing, I really want to have a drink with you, but I can't anymore because I quit drinking"
But that's just me, it's up to you on how you feel you should handle the situation.
And if you're thinking that you're not putting him first and are being selfish, you're already being selfless by quitting the drink. Because over all too much alcohol is a selfish decision.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
My question: does any one out here have a good, regular excuse you've ever used for why you can't drink?
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