Blankspace87

....and here I am. Day one.

A few of my earlier posts will explain my relationship / reliance on alcohol and my fear of quitting over the holidays.

It's 1st Jan and I've taken up the 'Dry January' challenge. Of course, after that, who knows what my willpower will be like, but I'm hoping the positive effects of not drinking will spur me on to make things more permanent.

I'm feeling determined.

tomsteve

you really want to challenge something that can kill you? you like russian roullette?

Ken33xx

I remember New Years Eve 1992. Went to a jazz club with the wife (then girlfriend)

Had told her I was sober and going to AA when in fact I never been to a meeting. (However I had called several times over the pervious five years.)

Anyway... we had a great time and I was proud of the fact I didn't drink.

Fast forward 6 weeks and another bender. This time my girlfriend had enough and split.

Then there were the jobs. One place sacked me and the other a supervisor wanted to speak with me.

It was all coming apart. The money gone, the girlfriend gone and I was coming in for a crash landing.

Decided to check out an AA meeting. Just check it out.

Walked into a meeting on a Saturday night 3/6/93. Didn't say anything at the meeting. However, one guy came in late and sat next to me. He suddenly shared how he'd gotten drunk again, was coming off a three day bender and in trouble. Instant identification.

Didn't know much but I knew what this guy was talking about.

Another guy (Dan the addict) who had an easy going way about him said hi and gave me a copy of the book living sober just before I ran out the out the door.

Didn't want to talk with anyone. Just wanted to check things out.

Liked the meeting and liked the seven or eight people in attendance.

Berrybean

Well for me, it was my self will that kept me drinking, so it was pointless to rely on will power alone to stop me. While I did that I was stuck in my own little mental and emotional tug or war which created bruises invisible to the eye, but that were profoundly painful. Conceding defeat marked the end of my battle with alcohol.

August252015

Happy new year! Good start to plan a month....what's the underlying plan to succeed in that, and beyond? I'm a big AA-er and would say now's a great time to give 30-in-30 or better yet 90-in-90 a try. You can get and stay sober if you put a plan of action into place rather than a "who knows after that." If you make "that," you gotta have something to keep you going as life comes in.

Good luck.

Blankspace87

I am raising money for a cancer charity as part of it. I've already raised over $100 and my page has been open less than 24 hours. That way, I'm not relying on will power alone. If i cheat, I'm cheating on the charity (which is close to my heart) and all those who have pledged money, as well as myself and my own health.

I do accept the point around needing a plan for 1st Feb onwards and I'll start thinking about that.

PhoenixJ

How about a plan from now?

ScottFromWI

Welcome back blankspace. I'd also recommend a plan specifically aimed at sobriety. Willpower alone is not enough unfortunately. Your fundraising efforts are admirable to be sure, but they are not a sobriety plan.

This link is a great read if you've never seen it. http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

waynetheking

I agree with Scott, you need a plan. Alcoholism is nonstop.

leviathan

Welcome. I hope everything works out, but your post reminded me of my past. I just have to tell you that the month thing was (for me) nothing more than procrastination and creation of a loophole.

Here's the deal: dry January is a health kick/ detox for people who want to give themselves a boost. Its a healthy fun challenge for those that are going to take a break and then resume after being "cleansed".

Get angry. Put your flag in the sand. Tell alcohol you're done playing the game.

When I finally did this I worried that my life would turn into a sentence of missing out and not being able to have fun or relax.

Not the case. I now laugh at alcohol. I also laugh at all of my previous half-asses proclaimations. I laugh because I survived, and I now see the truth. I cry for the loved ones that played the game to its inevitable conclusion.

DO IT. There will NEVER be a better time. Gather your tools and DO IT!

Sudz No More

Good luck this time out, just*remember that setting a day is really like a mind set that you should get out of. I remember me way back when I would always give myself those gift days like new years always telling myself that was the moment. You shouldn't need to*define when with some kind of last splurge, it usually leaves the door open for another "gift" day like your birthday or a job well done or your dog seems house broken or you avoided tripping over the stump. Your mind will always look for a reason to reward you with*another drink. Just one drink, I've been really good...

Dee74

Thanks for doing your bit to raise money.

I'm with the others here tho in thinking this is a permanent problem needing permanent solutions.

Giving yourself the month to work out a long range plan is a good opportunity blankspace

D

Algorithm

I hate to burst your bubble, but as others have mentioned, this is just a loophole. I will go even further, though, and say that this is actually a de facto plan to drink come February 1.

Short term temporary plans to take a break can work, but only if you use the break time to get a grip, and to close those loopholes.

Berrybean

I did a few Dry January and Sober October things. Each time I thought that if I could just stop for a month, that would give me a chance to kind of 'reset' my drinking when I started up again, and if I could not drink anything for a month, that would prove to myself that I could drink less. Thing is, I'm an alcoholic. So I CAN stop completely. But I cannot moderate for any length of time. So at the end of the events I would start my new moderation exercise, and for the first week I might (or might not) manage it, and then I'd be back to all bets being off as I relaxed (or got exhausted with the effort of moderating). If i was drinking, Iwas DRINKING. Like I always did. Right from the off as a young teen I drank because I liked getting drunk. A couple of drinks is never going to give me what I want(ed) from alcohol. I know that if I were to try to moderate today, it wouldn't take me long before I was back to where I left off. Maybe a few days. Maybe straight in. In fact, after each event when I went back my drinking became slightly worse if anything. After all, I didn't have a problem did I! ! Do cha' know, I just did a month sober!?! No problem here pal!

However, I finally made my private and secret decision that I was going to stop drinking. For good. For ever. Teetotal. And that happened at the end of Feb 2014. As someone who was known to be, and expected be, a heavy drinker, I had surrounded myself with friends and a partner who drank like I did (problematically - maybe they too are alcoholics - that's for them to say though) so I expected to have a lot of peer pressure and sabotage to deal with. So I must admit that I used Lent as a bit of a cover for the first month or so. This made it easier as the landlord of my local pub was also sober for Lent, which meant I had an alibi of sorts, and people entered into the spirit of it a bit. For that bit of time anyway. But a month later I had all the same stuff to deal with. I still needed to address my AV when my partner and friends would rather I was drinking. And of course, what did I hear from them?! "How can you have a problem? You just gave up alcohol for Lent!"

So. The Lent thing did give me breathing space when I was already definite in my own mind that I was going to stop anyway, but those problems were still there to deal with 6 weeks in. Lucky I'd used some of that time to start educating myself about alcoholism, and was pretty sure in my mind that I could NOT moderate by that time. Shame I didn't use that non-pressure time to get myself a plan up and running, but we all learn at our own pace I suppose.

However, the most dangerous part of that multi-edged sword that was set-period-abstinance for me, was when I let it lull me into a false nation that I could moderate. That because I could abstain it meant I could control my drinking.

I hope you keep reading and posting on here throughout January. Why not at least read through the info about getting a plan together and start on one. It'll make this month easier to get through as well.

MelindaFlowers

The problem with the darn holidays is that they come every single year.

Ken33xx

And there it is.

Ken33xx

Whatever you decide to do you're always welcome here.

Best of luck!

PhoenixJ

The only time I have to live my life is now. Not yesterday or tomorrow. I make a plan for tomorrow- NOW, that includes NOW. Otherwise it is just a thought.
Prayers and support to you.

JeffreyAK

Taking a month off can help a lot, if you can do it. Even if you're planning to drink Feb. 1st, you'll have a month of sobriety by then, time to evaluate where you are and come up with a longer-term plan. Deciding to never drink again and meaning it can be overwhelmingly hard, and it's often more productive to bite of smaller chunks, at least early on.

Outonthetiles

A "challenge" implies moderation. Moderating your drinking absolutely won't work. Sooner or later, everyone who's successful at this has to make a decision to never drink again and mean it.