Drinking Friends
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 782
Drinking Friends
I stopped drinking on my own 3.5 years ago. The first two of that, I was still with my fairly heavy drinking boyfriend. We eventually broke up because of our differences in that department. But truth be told, it was less that I disliked his drinking behavior and priorities (although that didn't help...) and more because every time we were together, inside I was resentful that I couldn't drink too.
The past 5 months, I dated a guy who didn't drink because he wanted life to be more real than that. It was so cool. We would still go out, but I felt like we had a united front. WE didn't drink. It felt like I could be fun again.
But then we broke up, and now I'm back to being resentful of all the people I know getting to still have so much fun while I sit at home lonely. If I go meet them out, I might visit a bit and then decide I don't want to watch them have fun while I'm not.
I want to start dating again, but it seems like everyone drinks at least a little. I feel out of place everywhere I go, wishing I got to forget for a while like they do. I have friends doing things for NYE, and I'm going to sit at home wishing I wasn't alone and wishing I could be like them. BLECH.
The past 5 months, I dated a guy who didn't drink because he wanted life to be more real than that. It was so cool. We would still go out, but I felt like we had a united front. WE didn't drink. It felt like I could be fun again.
But then we broke up, and now I'm back to being resentful of all the people I know getting to still have so much fun while I sit at home lonely. If I go meet them out, I might visit a bit and then decide I don't want to watch them have fun while I'm not.
I want to start dating again, but it seems like everyone drinks at least a little. I feel out of place everywhere I go, wishing I got to forget for a while like they do. I have friends doing things for NYE, and I'm going to sit at home wishing I wasn't alone and wishing I could be like them. BLECH.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,491
Congratulations on your recovery, TexasGirl! Maybe this is a good time for you to seek out things you like to do as a sober person. Maybe you're interested in sports, music, arts & crafts, whatever brings you pleasure in your days and weeks of recovery. Then, perhaps you will meet more sober people and hopefully you will begin to feel better about your situation. You are making the choice to live the best life you can, and that's awesome!
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I agree with Anna, find some sober activities.
I think if I were to live in envy/jealousy of others' drinking it would be really miserable. I still spend time out with people who are drinking. I see some of them as alcohol abusers, some of them as social drinkers and some of them don't drink at all.
I really don't want to drink again and I will do whatever it takes. If I feel uncomfortable when others are drinking, I just go home. I hope you can find a way to accept that some people are just better off not drinking.
I think if I were to live in envy/jealousy of others' drinking it would be really miserable. I still spend time out with people who are drinking. I see some of them as alcohol abusers, some of them as social drinkers and some of them don't drink at all.
I really don't want to drink again and I will do whatever it takes. If I feel uncomfortable when others are drinking, I just go home. I hope you can find a way to accept that some people are just better off not drinking.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,095
I am assuming you are young; I am 53 and I have had my fill of drinking and partying for my lifetime.
My wife and everyone I know still drinks heavily and I sometimes feel like the "stick in the mud" or a "party pooper".
So what. Their is more to life than getting wasted. I understand their is more peer pressure for younger people. I am also sure many young people don't drink.
My wife and everyone I know still drinks heavily and I sometimes feel like the "stick in the mud" or a "party pooper".
So what. Their is more to life than getting wasted. I understand their is more peer pressure for younger people. I am also sure many young people don't drink.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,040
Congrats on so much sober time, that is fantastic! I agree with everyone else about finding sober activities. Is there anything you really love to do? Maybe you can take a class, or join a book club, running group?
When I first moved from NY to California the only people I knew were my husband and his family and friends. I met some people at work, but was looking to meet new people, so I could have something of my own. I signed up with Team in Training to run a marathon, my then boyfriend, now husband, laughed, because I wasn't a runner. I have always been active, played sports in high school, enjoyed going for walks, but marathon running was a little but insane on my part. The best thing for me were the long runs on Saturday mornings. I had hours to chat with people, and one of my closest friends today is someone I met through that group. There were many good looking, and nice guys in the group as well, but since I had moved across the country to be with my boyfriend, they were just a nice distraction of my tired feet! Perhaps something like this might be what you need to find your rhythm again.
Hope 2017 brings you lots of love and laughter.
❤️Delilah
When I first moved from NY to California the only people I knew were my husband and his family and friends. I met some people at work, but was looking to meet new people, so I could have something of my own. I signed up with Team in Training to run a marathon, my then boyfriend, now husband, laughed, because I wasn't a runner. I have always been active, played sports in high school, enjoyed going for walks, but marathon running was a little but insane on my part. The best thing for me were the long runs on Saturday mornings. I had hours to chat with people, and one of my closest friends today is someone I met through that group. There were many good looking, and nice guys in the group as well, but since I had moved across the country to be with my boyfriend, they were just a nice distraction of my tired feet! Perhaps something like this might be what you need to find your rhythm again.
Hope 2017 brings you lots of love and laughter.
❤️Delilah
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,414
By the end of my drinking all my friends were people who drank like me.
I was building a new life sober so I needed to be around a different kind of friend.
I reconnected with old friends - people who I'd drifted away from - and I made new friends through pursuing my interests hobbies and a little volunteer work.
Not everyone drinks, or drinks like I did - it just looked that way because of the life I led
D
I was building a new life sober so I needed to be around a different kind of friend.
I reconnected with old friends - people who I'd drifted away from - and I made new friends through pursuing my interests hobbies and a little volunteer work.
Not everyone drinks, or drinks like I did - it just looked that way because of the life I led
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: WA
Posts: 891
I had a mate in the Army that never drank but was the life of the party. When he'd say "you don't need to drink to have fun" or "where's the fun in that?" (while pointing to someone bent over hurling in the gutter), I didn't see it but now I see he was right.
If I want to socialize, I'll socialize if I want to be alone, I'll be alone. I make the decisions not my disease or other people. While drunk people are annoying, fear of lapsing or not fitting in shouldn't decide whether I go out or not, my sobriety and principles keep me safe. Go out, go dancing, drink juice, party, who is stopping you?
If I want to socialize, I'll socialize if I want to be alone, I'll be alone. I make the decisions not my disease or other people. While drunk people are annoying, fear of lapsing or not fitting in shouldn't decide whether I go out or not, my sobriety and principles keep me safe. Go out, go dancing, drink juice, party, who is stopping you?
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