I would like to sincerely apologize.

Old 12-31-2016, 08:10 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 7
I would like to sincerely apologize.

Hi everybody,

I had forgotten that this site existed up until I recently checked an old e-mail address and received a birthday notification.

I wanted to sincerely apologize about my posts in the past regarding my alcoholism and having to deal with a problem drinker in my family (my father).

Back in 2008 and 2010 (see my previous posting history), I was nothing but a whiny 23 - 25 year old with a substance abuse problem. I had blamed my drinking on my father, and did nothing about it up until 2011. I finally had enough at the time, and decided to move out of an alcohol-riddled household. I have been sober ever since.

Unfortunately, that wasn't the case with my father. He succumbed to, and, passed away of end-stage liver disease in 2015.

Please note: The following below contains gruesome details about my father that may not be suitable for the faint of heart.

In mid-2015, I received a call from my mother. My father was dying due to chronic alcoholism.

A few weeks prior to his death, my father's liver was finally shutting down. As time went on, he would sleep more and more, could barely speak, eat food, consume fluids, dropped an enormous amount of weight due to loss of appetite, lost bodily functions (urinating and defecating himself), disorientation, weakness, vomiting blood, hallucinations, and bedridden. He lost his leg and pubic hair, completely jaundiced (yellowing of the skin, eyes, and gum line), and, his stomach was distended (beer belly). He was supposed to have has liver drained weekly, but never did so due to refusing medical treatment. He was also a heavy smoker, but couldn't inhale because the cigarettes just aggravated his condition.

I couldn't imagine the excruciating pain he was in, slowly dying because he neglected to see a certified medical physician.
What baffles my mind is that he knew he had Hep-C in 2008 and, in 2010, started slowly showing symptoms of cirrhosis. I'm honestly surprised he made it until 2015.

If this doesn't stop anybody from drinking, then I don't know what will. It certainly scared the living daylights out of me.

I am now 32 years old, have been sober for almost 6 years without relapsing, have my own residence, and am gainfully employed.

Take it from me, drinking isn't worth it. My father dying of cirrhosis of the liver and chronic alcoholism was the final nail in the coffin (no pun intended).

As they say, you can't help somebody, unless you help yourself. That's exactly what I did.

I'd like to thank CarolD, serenityqueen, Dee74, BUTTERFLY-7, Anna, and, whomever else have tried to help me in the past. I do greatly appreciate it.

Take care and have a Happy New Year.
flarngus is offline  
Old 12-31-2016, 08:14 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Pondlady's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 8,075
Condolences on the loss of your father and his difficult end of life experience. Congratulations on your sobriety and Happy New Year.
Pondlady is offline  
Old 12-31-2016, 08:15 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Northwest
Posts: 4,215
Thank you. This is such a compelling post, both from hope, in your success, and from failure, in the sad death of your father.

Wishing you comfort in your sorrow. You have my admiration in how you have turned it into motivation and success.
Ariesagain is offline  
Old 12-31-2016, 09:58 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Do your best
Soberwolf's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,043
Condolences, nice to meet you
Soberwolf is offline  
Old 12-31-2016, 10:43 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Delilah1's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 12,910
I'm sorry to hear about your father. Congratulations on six years of sobriety. Happy New Year.
Delilah1 is offline  
Old 12-31-2016, 12:23 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,095
Sorry about your father. My father was an abusive alcoholic but he quit drinking 20 years ago when his health got bad and he will turn 80 next year.

I drank everyday for 27 years. During the last 10 - 15 years of my heavy drinking I knew that my health couldn't stay good forever and I sometimes just felt that it was my destiny to die young from alcoholism; but now that I am sober I realize it was my depression talking. I always told myself "I wasn't that bad an alcoholic".
Doug39 is offline  
Old 12-31-2016, 12:50 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
PurpleKnight's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Welcome back Flarngus!! Happy New Year!!

Very sorry to hear about your dad, it's not easy watching someone drink themselves to the point of ill health and not want to change or turn things around.
PurpleKnight is offline  
Old 12-31-2016, 06:09 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Dee74's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 205,751
I remember you flarngus, No apology required

I'm sorry about your Dad but I'm thrilled your story will have a different ending - 6 years is great

Dee74 is offline  
Old 12-31-2016, 06:26 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Boston Ma
Posts: 980
Thank you and congratulations. I imagine that was difficult to write. I completely understand the motivation that watching the illness progress has. I'm sober because I took part in the partying that helped to kill my 36 year old friend. Dr. gave me grim prognosis as well. Liquor holds no appeal.
Mklove is offline  
Old 12-31-2016, 07:09 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
CLAS's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: East
Posts: 165
I am sorry for your loss and grateful for your post.
CLAS is offline  
Old 12-31-2016, 08:05 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
PhoenixJ's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 26,807
Addiction sucks.
PhoenixJ is offline  
Old 01-01-2017, 08:59 AM
  # 12 (permalink)  
waynetheking's Avatar
Join Date: May 2013
Location: fort worth tx
Posts: 1,373
Alcoholism kills. Thank you for coming back and sharing. I'm sorry about your father. This disease sucks. Period.
waynetheking is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:41 AM.