| SoCalDude | 12-30-2016 05:29 AM |
Back after being gone
I have talked to many of you through my years of sobriety. I have relapsed several times up until 2013 when I finally quit for good. I had a good friend and mentor, a Doctor named sobersloan on here that I quit with. Both of our lives went to separate paths, both of us said enough. Our bodies were giving up, I was 30, she was in her 50's. A couple of years ago, she had surgery, and started down a slippery slope that ultimately led to her death 9 months later, in a cold, dark concrete room. It was the hardest test of my sobriety. I bought a bottle of Vodka, I sat it in the pantry, and looked at it for days, weeks, taking things just minute by minute at times, until finally dumping it. I was in trouble with the law twice in 6 months in 2012, my ex wife left me, things just weren't very good to be sober, but I managed it with a higher power much greater than my inner strength.
It's amazing that after a few months of sloan's departure from this human form, someone she was close to had a friend that was just starting this journey, another person with the same bubbly personality that I could latch onto and we could keep each other sober. She is now 16+ months sober, and I am hitting 4 years on Sunday morning. This past holiday season was tough, as I've adopted my new wife's children, but there was some revelations that came to light that made it extremely tough as a dad to not drink. I knew what I had to do, was to come back to SR, my home, my place of safety, and back to all of my long time friends here.
I am just here to say that I am glad I faced all of the demons with a sober, level head. I'm glad I have all of you in my life, though not always around here, I know I can always come back to the comfort of SR. I'm thankful for good friends, a fantastic family, my health, a great job, a beautiful house -- all things that feel so easy to get once you're sober.
For those of you struggling today, all I can tell you is that when I relapsed several times before quitting, nothing good ever came of it. I'm healthy today, when there is a chance I might be dead or in jail. It's not to say I don't have my share of problems, but it's surprising how easy they are to work on when you have 24 hours in a day, instead of just 5-6. It hurts sometimes, but I think about that hurt, and how it was an emotion I didn't used to have when drinking. I don't like hurt, but I appreciate that I can 'feel' anything at all, and how it builds me as a stronger person.
I can't tell anyone how long I'll be around this time, but hopefully it's for a little longer. A big part of my recovery is trying to help others who are suffering. I know how hard it is. So thankful again for all of you at SR.
Happy New Year. :) | 