Is this sadness going to pass?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 379
Originally Posted by Delilah1 
Welcome to SR!!
Just about a year ago I finally stopped the insanity for good. In the past I romanticized my relationship with alcohol, I envisioned glass of wine watching the sunset, or in front of a crackling fire. However, the reality was it was never just a glass of wine, it was more like a bottle or so of me drinking in sweats in front of the tv. I would often fall asleep (aka pass out) on the couch and then wake at about 2:00 am drag myself up to bed only to hear the alarm go off at 5:30. You can imagine what a lovely image my puffy face, red eyes, and pounding head made the next day as I looked in the mirror.
Just about a year ago I finally stopped the insanity for good. In the past I romanticized my relationship with alcohol, I envisioned glass of wine watching the sunset, or in front of a crackling fire. However, the reality was it was never just a glass of wine, it was more like a bottle or so of me drinking in sweats in front of the tv. I would often fall asleep (aka pass out) on the couch and then wake at about 2:00 am drag myself up to bed only to hear the alarm go off at 5:30. You can imagine what a lovely image my puffy face, red eyes, and pounding head made the next day as I looked in the mirror.
There was nothing pretty about my drinking. I could never understand why anyone would meet friends for coffee when it was just as easy to drink wine.
I was in denial I had a problem a long time, - two decades in fact. That used to make me sad (that I didn't learn earlier I would never be able to moderate). But what overrides that is that I am only 43 and sober five years.
When I think of it that way, I am never sad
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,663
My sadness is grief. At not being able to drink like a normal person. For the family I left in my destructive wake- and all the other crap my story tells... Not now- sadness 'dulls' - it used to paralyse me. Then everything was a very,very tiring effort. Now tiring- still an effort but getting better. Have a happy, sobersafe and peaceful NY.
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