How can i learn how?

Old 12-28-2016, 09:29 AM
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How can i learn how?

Ive been in a constant battle of not picking up alcohol again if im able to do so. i stay sober for 3 months, then im dying for it. or so i tell myself. i try to notice changes during sober keep sober. i notice that doing everyday things, sober, just bore me. i find no joy in walking my dogs and seeing the gorgeous mountains outside. i find no joy in accomplishing tasks. i feel that im bored outta my skull staying sober. why is it that i crave the chaos and insanity alcohol promises to deliver me? If i cant find peace and joy in staying am i gonna continue a life of sobriety? i dont have kids, ive always been free to do as i please. i wish i could learn how to love and value my sobriety. i read lotsa members here are doing great with their sobriety. i do try, i just dont get it. or i havent seen the light? also i dont feel proud of myself for staying sober, nothing. its as if i have a mental block. everythings always a battle for me, nothing is simple and i can realize. i really dont get it....
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Old 12-28-2016, 09:35 AM
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My suggestion would be to give it more than three months and also to start changing your thoughts when they come in.

You are in control of how happy or bored you are.

You are in control of what you choose to ruminate on.

How about remembering how awful your drinking was instead of letting your addiction convince you it's awful not having alcohol.

Spend more time reading and posting here. You'll figure it out; and the way to do that is to not drink.
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Old 12-28-2016, 09:43 AM
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What kind of plan or program have you tried to follow in your sober time? Or are you just "not drinking"? For me, stopping the actual act of drinking was only the very beginning. I needed to specifically set aside time each and every day of my life to address sobriety as something I work for and constantly change my plan for. I also needed to address some of the underlying issues that might have contributed - Anxiety specifically for me. I saw my doctor, I eventually saw ( and continue to see occasionally ) a therapist, I practice mindfulness and meditation as much as possible, and continue to try and improve my physical health.

If you have not read the following thread it's a great read on the way others have gone about it too - and there are many, many ways. But the common theme with any of them is that living sober is a daily thing - you don't just suddenly "become" sober and the problems of our daily lives and our underlying issues don't disappear automatically because we quit drinking.
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Old 12-28-2016, 11:23 AM
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Thanx everyone...and i will read thread.
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Old 12-28-2016, 11:37 AM
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Three months may seem like a long time, but it's not. I drank for nearly 30 years, so I knew it was going to take time. It was about the one year mark where I felt this sober thing might stick. The longer you stay sober, the easier it will get. But, you have to decide that drinking is no longer an option. Only then can the real healing begin.
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Old 12-28-2016, 11:38 AM
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First, congratulations on three months of sobriety.

Recovery is definitely more than not drinking, it is about getting the most out of our lives. One thing that has helped me this year is nindfulness. I have been staying focused on the present, and also being grateful for the moment. You mentioned that walking no longer brings you pleasure. That is a great place to start practicing mindfulness. Try taking some time to just enjoy the beauty of nature. I know it may sound kind of cheesy, but it really does work.

There are lots of great threads on here about recovery, spend some time reading some abs see what will work for you.
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Old 12-28-2016, 12:09 PM
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How to do it? Well I found a bunch of people who had a solution to all the problems you raised, found out what they did, and did that. It worked very well. Life has been too good to bother with drinking for many years.
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Old 12-28-2016, 12:24 PM
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I think sometimes we become used to a "crisis oriented " life, hence, an ordinary "normal" life seems "boring".

As others have said, it takes time to figure out the underlying reasons we drank in the first place and address them. Also, don't mistake being drunk as may have felt that way to you, but I'm sure it didn't appear that way to others.
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Old 12-28-2016, 12:36 PM
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I guess that's why they say alcoholism is cunning, baffling and powerful. We don't understand why we can't live with it, or can't live without it.
What motivates me to keep working in recovery is seeing my personal relationships with other people improve. That's not something I'm willing to let slip for the sake of the feeling alcohol and drugs give me. I'm a better human being without alcohol or drugs in my body.
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Old 12-28-2016, 05:32 PM
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You're actually not in a dilemma here. The disease of alcoholism would have you believe this given the opportunity. That's the insanity and illusion of alcoholism. It's keeps you depending on the drink. The truth is, there is much more enjoyment walking the dogs sober than being drunk. You just don't know it yet.
Here's the solution. Don't drink. Go one day at a time without drinking. That time frame of happiness with out alcohol differs for most us, but generally speaking it happens around 9 to 12 months. But trust me, it will happen and you'll be free from this mental anguish you find yourself in. Alcoholism is deadly. It will fool you into the grave. Just give sobriety a chance. If you don't you'll find freedom. And believe me, walking the dogs sober is true freedom. Just don't drink.
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Old 12-29-2016, 03:18 PM
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120...first congratulations on your sobriety. That is really quite an accomplishment. It sounds to me like you are depressed. When you get no joy in anything. Maybe you should tell this to your doctor. There is medication for this and it may be a godsend for you. I know it helps me night and day...
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Old 12-29-2016, 03:44 PM
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If you want something to 'live for' in sobriety, try practicing gratitude every day. Each day find at least one person/event/thing you're grateful for. It gives a whole new meaning to living, and gives a positive slant to one's attitude.
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