steve-in-kville

In fact, I am taking a break from the interwebs. At least not much beyond checking email. After this last relapse, I was pretty shaken up (still am a bit, actually). I thought this was it, the time I would be hospitalized, not able to detox on my own. The term "kindling" became very real to me!!

I am thankful for a support system at home. My wife could have left with the children many times over, but she didn't. For that I am thankful.

I've been checking out AVRT a bit, plus some other online references. I am convinced I may be over-thinking this addiction and not thinking into it enough, if that makes sense. For that, I need to take some time away from the web and think without distraction. I need to do some pretty hardcore soul searching. Try to figure whats up, why I did what I did, etc.

Most likely my online "blackout" will start Christmas Eve. Might just go through the holiday weekend, perhaps a bit longer. Or I may miss you guys and be back sooner, who knows!

Regardless, Merry Christmas to all!!

Dee74

Merry Xmas to you too Steve

D

Hevyn

Have a great holiday, Steve. Hope to see you back with us soon.

Maudcat

Best wishes for success, Steve. Good luck.

ScottFromWI

Have a good holiday Steve. Sometimes getting offline for a while can be a good thing. You may very well be over-thinking this as you say, and one thing I'd warn agaist is trying to figure out "why". Even offline you can get stuck in an endless loop of trying to find an answer that doesn't exist. Accepting addiction for sharing what it is was true freedom for me, hope you can find peace too.

steve-in-kville

I think that is my big hangup. It's like I'm supposed to point back to one area in my life where I went wrong. I've been drinking since '99. It wasn't until 2006-ish where it became a problem. Its a progressive thing.

ScottFromWI

I drank from 1983 to 2013 - and I couldn't tell you exactly when it became a problem. Thing is that it doesn't matter because it was a problem when I quit.

I searched for a long time for a reason "why" I couldtnt keep drinking. And that's really what it was deep down...my addiction kept telling me that if I could figure out why, that I could then change it and start drinking normally again. But that's fools gold for an alcoholic of course. Acceptance was the only way out.

bemyself

hey, Steve, the great part about SR is that 'It's Not A Test'. As you maybe already realise, it's a bunch of people, some of us have to come and go. The best part is: we can tell our stories about what's going on for us. When we're here, we're here. When we're not, we're not. (Everyone's different - some need to be here a great deal, others of us pop in and out. No biggie).
And then, we can come back, and rejoin the conversation with what we've learned and / or are struggling with.

I know what you mean about the interwebs in general, oh yes. Good to have lots of time off-grid, for all manner of reasons.

Check ya later, Steve!

Steely

I hope the break works well for you Steve. Sometimes we need no distraction whatsoever.

Oh boy, can I ever relate to "kindling" becoming real. My last relapse showed me the same. Very scared.

Wishing you a very happy, peaceful and sober Christmas.

FBL

Happy Holidays, Steve! You know where to find us

PhoenixJ

Prayers

steve-in-kville

I started working night shift in the fall of 2007. That's when it was really off to the races.... I drank so I could sleep during the day.

We see how well that worked out....

steve-in-kville

Thanks for all the well wishes. Plan to stay busy. Wanna do some shopping first thing tomorrow morning (like 5am!). Have some cooking to do. Plus I got all my seed catalogs and plan to get all my seeds ordered for the spring.

And think. Already got several pages of "musings" on the subject.

Gottalife

May your god go with you

freshstart57

Steve, I wish you well during this time - I see that you are at a transition point in some way. I also see that you have mentioned AVRT, and that is exciting for me. I am a strong proponent, and I strongly suggest you look into it further to see if it makes sense to you.

Lots of info about AVRT in the Secular Connections forum, and you could find there the sticky post called AVRT Explained. You may find it helpful. Lots of support there for you too.

Notimetoloose

Ditto on AVRT...it has been eye opening for me.
Good luck and Merry Christmas, you know where to find us.