ScottFromWI

"Life" doesn't cause us to drink. We decide to drink and then we don't stop because we are alcoholics. Living spiritually and exercising and eating right are all certainly parts of a good sober life, but I think you are missing the piece of that puzzle that directly addresses your alcoholism.

There will always be something that can be used as an excuse to drink. And those things will continue to be part of our lives even after we stop drinking - life is full of challenges each and every day. The real crux of sobriety is learning to deal with those challenges in ways other than drinking. Having a solid plan and community to fall back on is tremendously helpful in that respect.

steve-in-kville

And that would be??

steve-in-kville

Not trying to be a jerk or anything, if you've mentioned it, I missed it!

ScottFromWI

I am simply suggesting that you have not directly addressed your addiction via any formal type of sobriety plan. There are many - a short list below

1. Meeting based Recovery ( AA, LifeRing, Celebrate Recovery, Etc )
2. Counseling ( addiction specific or general )
3. Rehab - ( inpatient or outpatient )
4. Self-based recovery ( AVRT, etc )
5. Addiction books and literature
6. Online recovery ( SR ) - Chat meetings, monthly threads, etc

There are more and you can use multiple. You mentioned yourself that you need accountability - that has to come from within, but any of the above will allow you access to accountability specific to addiction.

Exercise and eating well are good for you physically, but they don't address your addiction.

Upstairs

Welcome back Steve! Don't be too hard on yourself. I think it takes a huge act of will to stop a binge of three days from becoming weeks or years, and return here and own up to it. Get back at it!

tomsteve

i think the very first important ingredient is surrender.
then action, which scott posted suggestions some of the different actions.

my cars brakes need to be replaced. ive known that for sometime now. they finally went out and i crashed into a tree.
why did i crash into a tree when i knew they needed to be replaced? isn't knowing what needs to be done enough?
great thing was i only hurt my car and myself when i could have hurt someone else.
similar to alcohol.

Maudcat

I'm sorry, Steve. Here when you need us.

steve-in-kville

Thanks for offers and prayers. I certainly have a lot to think about.

steve-in-kville

I'm actually reading through this tonight.... interesting stuff. Looks solid.

BrendaChenowyth

Awareness of this keeps me going down the sober path. I could relapse whenever I wanted to, but I don't want to. And just because I'm having a bad week in my codependent recovery, doesn't mean I have to feel like relapse is inevitable.

zjw

^^THIS what you describe in bold I had to get nuerotic about I made that sort of stuff my focus come hell or high water anything and everything else had to go on the back burner getting myself healthy came first all else had to wait and as ig ot stronger i added in the other things little by little.

Thats what it took for me anyhow. I know a fair amt of acloholics are all or nothing types. All in or not at all. I'm like that and I guess I realized i could be all in with bad stuff or all in with good stuff. I took this same character flaw and twisted it around and used it for more healthier thigns so that I could get better.

August252015

For me, fending off any possibility or danger of "auto-pilot" is one reason I work such a hard program. I don't like people saying "you've got it!" or such....sobriety is what I do because that is who I am now, but I have to keep doing the right things to keep it that way.

Maudcat

i am reminded of what Cheryl Strayed wrote in "Wild." She posits the question at the end of her hike along the Pacific Crest Trail: "What if heroin taught me something?" I feel that way about my alcohol use and abuse. It was something I did, what did it teach me? I have a lot of answers to that one. I guess what I am saying is that in relapse we have the opportunity to dig deeper about why we want to drink. Peace.

steve-in-kville

Excellent movie, BTW. Not exactly for the whole family, though....

Aellyce

My experience has been that there is much more insight and useful information to be obtained from resisting my drinking urges, learning about my triggers, and getting through them sober. It's also much more empowering than coming out of relapses a million times. Acting out just repeated the same old every time, even when I relapsed after 2 years.