kintsugi

So.

I have received an offer for a new job at a better company (more socially responsible, more aligned with my interests, etc), but I'll have to sell my home and move my family across the country for it.

Im very anxious about the move. I'm not interested in drinking, but I haven't fully developed coping skills for stress, and my first 'thought reaction' was to go buy a bottle of scotch (I know this is because this was my typical reaction to stress for YEARS, and even though I don't drink anymore, my mind still seems to reflexively suggest it as a solution).

I'm not getting tempted to drink, but I'd love to hear any tips for dealing with worrying about the future.

Algorithm

Congratulations on the job offer, kintsugi. I recommend exercise for stress, be it cycling, running, swimming, etc. Something other than sitting at a desk, or in front of the TV.

Many people lead sedentary lives, but it does work, even just 30 minutes a day. The human body is not designed to be sedentary, and it will feel more at ease, and less stressed, with regular exercise. Your mind will feel the effects of this.

This is why I asked the questions I did back when you said you didn't miss drinking anymore, since alcohol was all marketing.

I don't "miss" drinking -

kintsugi

I don't 'miss' drinking or want to do it (though I see where you were coming from with the question when you asked!!) -- as I said, when it came to mind, I wasn't questioning if it was something I was going to do. I still think it's a fair bit of conditioning, and I've conditioned myself to associate stress with drinking to cope.

But the fact that my mind sort of defaulted back to what it knew made me realize that I don't have a ton of great 'coping skills' developed for bigger life stressors, like moving my family across the country.

I'm fairly physically active and eat well. I'm more looking for 'action plan' type things that can help me navigate my way through 'big stressors'

soberlicious

Well, actually you do have good coping skills because despite your mind having a passing thought of drinking, you did not act on it, nor do you intend to. That's good coping. I don't think the occasional thoughts mean that you aren't coping, rather they are just the addicted part of you popping up to see if there is a crack in the door, which of course there isn't, so it won't linger long if not engaged with.

I just expect that sort of activity to pop up during a major stressor. I say something like, "oh yes, there you are...figured you show up lol" It can't hurt you, it can't "make you drink", so it will go on it's way when ignored. That's certainly been my experience.

Congrats on your new job...stressful I'm sure, but also exciting?!

PhoenixJ

Share, post- talk with your family. Keep the sobriety compass in mind. Do not run away from stuff- but be mindful not to take on challenges just to prove that you can- I you do not want to.